Short Stories | Storiesville.com - Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^) Profile Page

Hits	11347
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	06/12/2007
Last Online	09/07/2008
Connections	36
Avg Profile Rating

About Myself:

Adaptive.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Sep 3, 2008	Social Retard-Nation, Chapter 4	Miscellaneous Stories	43
Aug 26, 2008	Social Retard-Nation, Chapter 3	Miscellaneous Stories	79
Aug 12, 2008	Social Retard-Nation, Chapter 2	Miscellaneous Stories	106
Jul 25, 2008	Social Retard-Nation, Chapter 1	Miscellaneous Stories	213
May 13, 2008	Do You Love Me Still?	Poetry	459
Apr 29, 2008	Nutty Abbot	Poetry	371
Mar 6, 2008	Inside	Miscellaneous Stories	399
Jan 25, 2008	Insane	Poetry	1407

Comments

Total number of comments: 341

Title article: Wisdom Is For The Birds
Date: 2008-09-05 15:56:53

I like this line, "'Your wings are to be chariots to bring others to my presence.'" When one is birthed with a distinguishing talent, strength, or ability it should be used for the greater good, but most commonly when people have outstanding traits they become full of themselves and pretentious, seeking their own gratification, it's almost punishable. The all around message was a good one. I enjoyed the fact that you wrote a parable to simply illustrate a good lesson; Jesus did it for a reason, because they're highly effective. Good job.

Title article: Sometimes It Still Hurts
Date: 2008-09-05 15:45:16

Forgot to add the mother (and people) too ridiculously close to "have noticed nothing odd", and the religious group that employed such detestable tactics to mend the situation with the degenerate stepfather.

Title article: Sometimes It Still Hurts
Date: 2008-09-05 15:37:11

I am very fervently hoping that this is not sections of an autobiography (you filed it under miscellaneous and not non-fiction). I don't quite know what to say. Since I cannot honestly empathize, I'd imagine whatever supposed form of console I'd have to offer would seem insensitive. But I am, of course, appalled with the barbarism and depravity of talked about man.

Told engagingly well.

Title article: The Monkey
Date: 2008-09-05 12:29:43

The descriptive details were well-written and were what held my attention the majority of the time (particularly those pertaining to the apes'; which, was where you most strongly drew an image for the reader), rather than the events. Humorous too. The narrating was also very well done. Highly enjoyed it, but the conclusion (i.e the last paragraph) crippled the rest of the story a bit, it didn't quite live up to the rest, as if it were written in haste...

Title article: There Is No Me Without You
Date: 2008-09-05 10:57:58

I'll give it a high rating because I think you've accurately captured the emotion you set out to project. But that last statement, "Love Forever," is a drag to read; that's when it went from cute and warm to corny and uncomfortable.

Title article: Ode to Simplicity
Date: 2008-09-03 14:49:26

This is beyond excellent. The structure, style, vocab., and tone, but especially the content's significance. I took much from this; all of your work is intellectually enlightening. I do not know even where to begin summarizing what I got from this. Probably my favorite I've read from you so far.

Title article: Love At First Sight
Date: 2008-09-03 14:33:35

Again, I see an emphasis on harsh reality's blow. You did well in expressing the love fool's euphoria, but a mediocre job in destroying it. The beginning to middle flowed alright, but the transition made from middle to end was shaky. I did enjoy the read though.

Title article: HORROR
Date: 2008-09-03 14:03:58

Good.
I was going back and forth with whether you were trying to portray horror as a tangible piece of mass within a being once striped of all other matter (?), or as one being entirely void of self-fabricated tranquilizers, more in the sense of the attitudes we tend to adopt in order to cope with difficulties, to escape reality; because to directly confront an upsetting, unprocessed reality sounds truly horrific. I didn't so much like the format this was in nor how it was written, it sometimes seemed contradictory, but I did like what it lead me to think, no, just the fact that it MADE me think.

Title article: Life As He Knew It.
Date: 2008-08-26 15:36:37

I'm assuming the whole deal with the beverages is alluding to the women they had going back and forth between them, I dunno; if that's the case the orange juice bit was humorous, as were other instances in this. But I wasn't enticed into going any further with this, in trying to decipher the rest. Dialog format's bad, but you know that.

Title article: To BELIEVE or NOT To BELIEVE
Date: 2008-08-18 12:27:18

This is very good. You lagged it a bit during your narration of what resulted for the Intellectual and Zombie in relation to their duties, but it didn't take away very from the core structure. It drove me to deep thought throughout; I found truth in all three character's initial takes on spirituality, and in the concluding idea. The Guru's method did in the end come through though, all three were finally able to think in unison (come to the same conclusion).
Really liked this (story); very well-written. I enjoy complex subjects being told in simple, narrowed-down terms.

<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 5 6 ... 35 Next > End >>

Forum

Last 10 Forum Posts

Date	Subject	Category	Hits
05/14/2008 08:49:48	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	37281
05/06/2008 21:30:01	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	37281
05/06/2008 21:24:03	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	37281
05/06/2008 17:08:48	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	37281
04/17/2008 16:01:24	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	37281
04/17/2008 15:45:05	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	37281
03/31/2008 09:24:47	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	37281
03/27/2008 10:53:57	Re:The idea of poetry....	Off-Topic	632
03/22/2008 16:13:21	Re:1800's Thread	Off-Topic	15671
03/20/2008 21:44:15	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	37281

Connection

Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)'s connections

Ashutosh Ghildiyal (Ashutosh)

Helen Moore (HelentheCelt)

rosa mae alamil (topsyturvywords)

Kasi (Kasi Elaborated)

JD Kelly (Juda)

Nate Stanford (nick711)

jesse (jesse2008)

Daniel Van Werkhoven (DoozerDan)

Sorrow Is My Mask (resistanceisfreedom)

Patrick O. (Roadkill315)

<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 Next > End >>

Guestbook

Name	Entry
Egoist (Egoist)	Created On: 03/06/2008 16:15:49 As I said..."what goes around, comes around..." Well I really never said that, but you understand. Here's another five.
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)	Created On: 03/05/2008 09:35:10 If guestbooks were made out of instruction manuals and do-it-yourself hardware stores I still wouldn't know what to do with them. Feedback from Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^):
Egoist (Egoist)	Created On: 02/05/2008 12:48:54 Edited By Egoist (Egoist) On: 02/07/2008 16:01:41 Always enjoy your energy...IN YOUR STORIES AND COMMENTS...heheh Feedback from Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^): Thank you very much.
Mugen (Dirkin) Australia	Created On: 01/28/2008 19:31:53 Hallo! Thanks for your kind comments! Keep writing
Barbie Dorrough (Barbie) Japan	Created On: 01/17/2008 11:43:52 Edited By Barbie Dorrough (Barbie) On: 01/17/2008 11:44:07 I live on the island of Okinawa...but Tokyo, wow, thats a sight to behold. If you can go there, at least once, in your lifetime. With your passion for dressing up in amime gear...you will fit right in. They really do that here....
David Neve (Tarhead Mugwump)	Created On: 12/19/2007 00:35:34 okay, times up... you need to get your fingers back on the keyboard. we need another series! Feedback from Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^): On it.
that tabithah person	Created On: 09/17/2007 15:09:35 whens the next tomo coming out??? Feedback from Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^): Ooo, I'm not so sure. Seems I've got writer's block. heh heh heh. I've also been swamped with work, and haven't had time. The next part to Tomo's Guns is the last, so I have to think of a decent ending. No worries, I should get to it before the end of this year(?). heh... uh, or before! I dunno. I tend to not finish what I start. But I need to see things through this time. I will try my best. Take care of yourself.
Naragi K-Town	Created On: 07/17/2007 07:33:20 Just finished reading all five of your tomo's gun stories. very nice Feedback from Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^): Thank you, Naragi. I'm glad you enjoyed them. I'm hoping the 6th part will be completed and published by this coming Sunday. (just in case you're interested ^-^)
Tommy Lee (Yfcomp)	Created On: 06/29/2007 12:41:11 I am not going to deny that I am looking forward to reading an action packed story when I click on Tomo's Gun. But I was actually expecting some kind of romance between Roberta and Marco. I definitely think it would add more values to your storyline. For series of multiple stories, like Tomo's Gun, it may be a good idea to have variation of themes here and there to keep it interesting. I can't wait to read your next one Feedback from Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^): Thank you Tommy! You've helped me a great deal.
Tommy Lee (Yfcomp)	Created On: 06/29/2007 08:30:16 I definitely loved all of the Tomo's gun series. I am glad to hear that you are reconsidering to continue writing Tomo's Gun. Feedback from Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^): Tommy, thank you so very much. Because of you and others that share your opinion I will definitely finish "Tomo's Guns"... Changing the subject, I have something I'd like to ask you. It's already been decided that I will add prolonged action scenes, but do you think that I should also add a bit of... uh, I'm lacking the word here... oh, I dunno, romance? This sort of thing appeals more to the female audience, I would think. As a boy, what is your opinion? I don't want to ruin "Tomo's Guns" by making it korny, I just want to make it understood that Roberta is human, and is capable of sharing human emotions. I'll be looking out for your answer. Thanks!