Short Stories | Storiesville.com - Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^) Profile Page

Hits	12392
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	06/12/2007
Last Online	10/07/2008
Connections	37
Avg Profile Rating

About Myself:

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Oct 7, 2008	Social Retard-Nation, Chapter 5	Miscellaneous Stories	20
Sep 3, 2008	Social Retard-Nation, Chapter 4	Miscellaneous Stories	101
Aug 26, 2008	Social Retard-Nation, Chapter 3	Miscellaneous Stories	126
Aug 12, 2008	Social Retard-Nation, Chapter 2	Miscellaneous Stories	139
Jul 25, 2008	Social Retard-Nation, Chapter 1	Miscellaneous Stories	245
May 13, 2008	Pretty-Ugly.	Poetry	491
Apr 29, 2008	Nutty Abbot	Poetry	395
Mar 6, 2008	Inside	Miscellaneous Stories	427
Jan 25, 2008	Insane	Poetry	1444

Comments

Title article: Love At First Sight
Date: 2008-09-03 14:33:35

Again, I see an emphasis on harsh reality's blow. You did well in expressing the love fool's euphoria, but a mediocre job in destroying it. The beginning to middle flowed alright, but the transition made from middle to end was shaky. I did enjoy the read though.

Title article: Life As He Knew It.
Date: 2008-08-26 15:36:37

I'm assuming the whole deal with the beverages is alluding to the women they had going back and forth between them, I dunno; if that's the case the orange juice bit was humorous, as were other instances in this. But I wasn't enticed into going any further with this, in trying to decipher the rest. Dialog format's bad, but you know that.

Title article: Just a Tease
Date: 2008-08-09 18:19:06

Highly entertaining twist. You did well in arranging the story for us to misconstrue until the shocking end.
Assuming his teacher is not really a tease, him calling her that in his anger proves his immaturity (here, due to his young age); but I think this can be applied to adult relationships, how the love-stricken turned disillusioned can handle the blow immaturely with name calling or bubbling hatred...
I liked this very much. Good job.

Title article: A Binding Constraint
Date: 2008-08-04 11:09:15

Beautiful.
An uninteresting remark, but
all that is necessary to say.

Title article: Peanut Butter and Doom
Date: 2008-07-28 13:03:47

"the brown cream fostering nuts on a smooth olive surface" was a near perfect description of it (a freshly-opened jar of peanut butter, I mean). It's not the humor I specifically enjoy, but your high points, I'd say, were the last paragraph and the 'author's note.'

Title article: Love From a Twelve Year Old
Date: 2008-07-28 12:39:29

It was a bit unsettling, even the font and color you chose to write this in (sort of pedophilic); simple misconception. Truthfully though, this isn't a story. No, setting, strong character development, plot, climax...
So, I dunno, I'm at a loss.

Title article: A Free Gift For You
Date: 2008-07-28 11:32:29

Seems you don't know enough of the topic to make a convincing argument (that is assuming you were trying to make one). You didn't even have the truth to distort. But if you had, it's obvious you would have bent it to accommodate your ideologies, and that's just as questionable. And really, it projected more as an attack rather than a thought-provoking piece. What this needed is some clever, sharp-witted remarks.

Title article: Apples and Crows
Date: 2008-07-15 16:14:25

"In Portsmouth and Southsea" is overused.
And it's beyond evident that you handpicked words just for the sake of rhyming.
Personally didn't like the oddities. There's simply too much canvas when you write of the absurd.

Title article: Wordsmith
Date: 2008-06-25 16:19:05

Your personal efforts to be unconventional strongly come through in this. I like your writing because I don't have to ever offer any real constructive criticism. It's professional writing that I can just placidly enjoy. Excellent.

Title article: For you
Date: 2008-06-12 12:51:08

Ya ya, definitely stimulating!
Really liked how it seemed that you were addressing us, the readers. In other words, the reader is almost made to believe that it was written especially for him/her (it's how it made me feel anyway, aha ^^;). This also had a Lewis Carol feel to it, especially towards the end. Nice.

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Forum

Last 10 Forum Posts

Date	Subject	Category	Hits
05/14/2008 08:49:48	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	45205
05/06/2008 21:30:01	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	45205
05/06/2008 21:24:03	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	45205
05/06/2008 17:08:48	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	45205
04/17/2008 16:01:24	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	45205
04/17/2008 15:45:05	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	45205
03/31/2008 09:24:47	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	45205
03/27/2008 10:53:57	Re:The idea of poetry....	Off-Topic	712
03/22/2008 16:13:21	Re:1800's Thread	Off-Topic	16755
03/20/2008 21:44:15	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	45205

Connection

Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)'s connections

La'Tronzo Jones-Wallace (anonymous)

Ashutosh Ghildiyal (Ashutosh)

Helen Moore (HelentheCelt)

rosa mae alamil (topsyturvywords)

Kasi (Kasi Elaborated)

JD Kelly (Juda)

Nate Stanford (nick711)

jesse (jesse2008)

Daniel Van Werkhoven (DoozerDan)

Sorrow Is My Mask (resistanceisfreedom)

<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 Next > End >>

Guestbook

Name	Entry
Sorrow Is My Mask (resistanceisfreedom)	Created On: 09/17/2008 12:50:21 so "A Twilight Sky" made it to your favorites. that's very hard to believe haha no, i'm kidding. i appreciate you adding it to your faves... but, it's a shame you didn't leave any comment
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)	Created On: 09/11/2008 18:05:37 You've earned points for quoting Easy Rider, by the way.
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)	Created On: 09/09/2008 07:35:31 Edited By Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine) On: 09/09/2008 07:36:59 Now I get it. Well, I think it would make me a bad person, or maybe a liberator, who knows. Note: I remembered that liberator is being used pretty freely (GO REPUBLICANS) nowadays so I'll switch it to hero.
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)	Created On: 09/08/2008 13:12:01 Easy Rider.
Sorrow Is My Mask (resistanceisfreedom)	Created On: 09/07/2008 15:59:55 how's Juttabell doing?? i needed to sign this to tell you how great you are. keep it up!!
jesse (jesse2008) JUTTA TIME!	Created On: 08/03/2008 20:21:23 EKK, IT'S JUTTA, RUN! or as I like to call her Cell. Cell Motrin?
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)	Created On: 07/20/2008 07:45:29 Call me a spaz, do you. While you sport old lady glasses, you call me a spaz? While you toss verbal garbage at the king, you call me a spaz? Well. I like the glasses, anyway. Watch yo mouf.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) tied up and gagged in someone's basement!	Created On: 07/05/2008 23:43:04 Edited By Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) On: 07/06/2008 14:54:17 ahhh, you're red! red scares me because red reminds me of blood, which reminds me of revenge, which reminds me of christmas, which reminds me of serial killing hippies! who are you? who am I? i need to know these questions or i'm going to go insane...oopps, too late. I was going through my comments and i wanted to thank you for reading and leaving such good comment on my story, Dog. so, umm ... thanks
jesse (jesse2008) How rude of me	Created On: 07/05/2008 20:23:06 I should have signed your Profile Book, well I did it. YAY! You keep on writing Cell, yes I am calling you by your old name. Question where did that name come from, I know it's not from DBZ. Feedback from Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^): ^^"cell" came from those itty bitty microscopic things.. the ones with a nucleus... i dunno, i like the sound of what makes up a cell, and the fact that a cell is the basic structural unit of all organisms. thank you for signing my profile book^^.
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)	Created On: 06/18/2008 07:47:59 You forgot to add fanny pack to your about me. Feedback from Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^): No, I dumped you just a few days ago... don't you remember fanny pack? It was for a coin purse.