christopher altendorf (brothersee) Profile Page
christopher altendorf (brothersee)
Hits 971
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 10/10/2008
Last Online 01/08/2009
Connections 2
Avg Profile Rating
 
Website/Blog: none
About Myself: Raised on farm in Kansas.I now live in Phoenix. I have written things for many years but have only taken it seriously for about a year.
I also know alot about hardware.

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Jan 1, 2009Cassandra's House, Chapter 1Mystery 193
Dec 23, 2008The Fudge MafiaMiscellaneous Stories 321
Dec 23, 2008China ChristmasMiscellaneous Stories 70
Nov 26, 2008DeliveryMiscellaneous Stories 158
Nov 22, 2008It Doesn't Take Much Ending 7Miscellaneous Stories 111
Nov 13, 2008DisdainMiscellaneous Stories 120
Nov 8, 2008BeckyMiscellaneous Stories 169
Nov 6, 2008BetrayedMiscellaneous Stories 206
Nov 5, 2008Lariat - A Story of RegretMiscellaneous Stories 298

Comments

Total number of comments: 102

Title article: Tumbleweeds, Devil's Claw, and Thistles
Date: 2008-12-29 21:35:03
Goodland
Well Ive been to Goodland and I never found this sweet young thing I willlook harder next time. Not exactly iambic pentameter but I found it descriptive and fun.

Title article: Pleasure has a Price
Date: 2008-12-29 20:53:52
Pretty good
I liked alot of this. Good build up of tension. Your dialog is real good and I think you should use that talent to your benefit.  
I am not sure where it happens.

Title article: DysFUNctional
Date: 2008-12-29 17:49:43
Going to Iraq
If I hadnt seen stories unfol before me all my life I might wonder where this came from. I like the realistic dilog and the characters developed quickly and I thought were a real solid and honest description of people we have all known on one level or another.

Title article: Lets Go to the Zoo
Date: 2008-12-14 22:18:29
gonzo
I like stuff like this from time to time. A little irreverant. I can see alot of this type of thing happening in this day and age. Form and mechanics are something I pay attention to but in a story lie this maybe they are not quite so important.

Title article: Flip, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-12-14 21:58:51
looong
I was thinking same as ruby but she beat me to it. It would be easy to change it since you already have it divided into chapters that are pretty well defined. I like the story idea even though Im not a scifi guy, or a poet as you can tell.

Title article: a day to remember
Date: 2008-12-14 21:40:11

I like a short story to have alot of dialog so I liked it for that reason. At the same time it had alittle to much inner dialog and some of the mechanics made it alittle hard. I like simple as long as its not to simple.

Title article: THIS ADULT MAY CONTAIN STORY CONTENT
Date: 2008-12-14 20:31:25
LOve it
I gotta agree with Ruby. I cannot belie I didnt think of that. Well actually I can. You will have to excuse me now I uh, well you get the picture.....

Title article: Darkening
Date: 2008-12-14 19:31:36
Tension
The pace is fast and the storyline is pretty clear.I didnt get a good sense of who this character was except an escapee. I also didnt sense tension that I know is present.

Title article: Ugly Innocence, Chapter 3
Date: 2008-12-13 22:13:21
purr-upping
I love that purr-up-ing. I am always looking for new words. Must go read more so I can catch up.

Title article: The Beast Of Greenwich Village
Date: 2008-12-13 21:57:01

You got a lot out in ashort time. 
I usually like rapid middle begining and ends. I only think that in this kind of story you need a little more time to build empathy sympathy or in the case of the Beast anger hatred or something.

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Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
12/13/2008 21:34:05Re:Is anyone else having problems?Off-Topic246
11/27/2008 09:32:56Re:HAPPY THANKSGIVINGOff-Topic473
11/24/2008 16:12:09Re:HEEEEELLLLP!Off-Topic279

Connection

christopher altendorf (brothersee)'s connections

OFFLINE j.p. martin (jipper)
OFFLINE Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat)
 

Guestbook


Name Entry
Padmakumar M.J. (Howler)

India
 Created On: 11/25/2008 22:32:16
Hey there Jus wanted to say thank you for taking time to read my story 'Trigger'. I've just about started reading your stories, and I love your works so far. Keep the good times rollin'

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