Short Stories | Storiesville.com - Roy Hahne (Synchronicity)

Roy Hahne (Synchronicity) Profile Page

Hits	566
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	10/05/2008
Last Online	12/30/2008
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About Myself:

I discovered the catharsis of writing when I was 13 years old, and have been writing ever since. I have tried to turn it off in order to facilitate some sort of "real" life, but like gum on the sole of a shoe it follows me around...just stuck there and smelling like artificial fruit.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Dec 30, 2008	A Celebration of the New Year ©	Romance	100
Nov 15, 2008	One More Moon ©	Romance	310
Nov 13, 2008	I Will Go ©	Miscellaneous Stories	94
Oct 26, 2008	Guilty Shoe ©	Miscellaneous Stories	143
Oct 12, 2008	Bumbleshoot's Bum and How IT Happened ©	Humor	139
Oct 12, 2008	Flowers for Halloween ©	Miscellaneous Stories	205
Oct 6, 2008	The Perfect ©	Miscellaneous Stories	176

Comments

Title article: Feast Of Worms, Chapter 6
Date: 2008-10-08 01:26:33

Creeped out!
For some reason I want more before the worm kiss...the crack of the tires of Viola's car on the frozen mud and ice, I want to see Sara shudder...feel her cold...know what kind of coat she was wearing, did her mittens stick to the ice on the door handle of the car? I think the light banter of the two women is a good foil for what is going on outside the car and in the trailer. I think it needs to slow down somehow...build. Good horror. I am creeped out.

Title article: MELTING IN THE HEAT. (Aids Week, Gambia 2004)
Date: 2008-10-06 00:26:34

I saw this story as a commentary on lust in the aging man. He is oblivious to his decay and approaching death and continues to see himself in the virility of his youth despite all evidence to the contrary. The nubile young woman clearly sees his demise right around the corner and like so many hungry women...follows and waits to cleanse nature for the next generation. She knows he is melting before he can acknowledge this inevitability. Melting is a process and in this male character the process is all but complete when he meets the woman at the bar...she knows it won't be long now...just one shower away. I so enjoyed this story. Thank you for writing it.

Title article: Feast Of Worms, Chapter 2
Date: 2008-10-05 23:20:14

Better....scarier too. Things that hiss are never a good thing; although they do sometimes bring enlightenment especially right after we think we have the whole universe figured out.

Title article: Feast Of Worms, Chapter 4
Date: 2008-10-05 22:52:10

"Depravity begins with questioning- maybe not so much questioning, but with the conflicting answers to questions that a curious child asks." This insight is perfect. I feel no need to tweak this chapter one way or the other. I have enjoyed the thread running through the chapters of "Why is this happening to me?" and am hoping to see a tie in with the ending. Why does this sort of "stuff" (not as bad as worms eating our leg perhaps) happen to all of us?

Title article: Feast Of Worms, Chapter 3
Date: 2008-10-05 22:43:06

"Humanity attends the festival of life each time they leave the sanctity of their homes- riding carousels of their own creation and flying high on roller coasters of everyday routines. One that leaves home to attend monotony, then crashes along the way, begins to wonder during the traumatic event"...I love this. That is by far the best description of the potential of every day life...or lack thereof I have read in a very long time. I do not know if it belongs in this story, but I love it so much that I would hate to see it deleted. Great! Chapter 4, here I come. Will wifey be eaten by the worm man and his lovely canines?

Title article: Feast Of Worms, Chapter 2
Date: 2008-10-05 22:32:15

Yeah, I knew the worms were coming by the title. My stomach is turning a bit here. Still interested in the story. Paragraph where the dobe lunges could use a slight reworking to smooth it a bit...the creature pointing his finger is understood as the command to attack without further explanation? What do you think? On to chapter 3. Good work!

Title article: Feast Of Worms, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-10-05 22:22:09

Love your descriptions. I am already warning Sam to stay in the shack. "Don't go out there! Blow off the night, dude." Story has me interested. My only crit is that there might be too many "Samuel"s in the beginning of the story...could use "the man," or "he" more often. I could be wrong and AM being picky...good start.

Title article: It's Only Life
Date: 2008-10-05 22:08:53

Ah, life without purpose tied to a way to make it through the night. I enjoyed this poem. I liked the flow of it and enjoyed the switch where usually tears turn smiles to waste, this time smiles turn sadness to waste as if sadness were the goal. It challenged preconceived notions...always a success.

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