Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat) Profile Page
Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat)
Hits 1760
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 09/26/2008
Last Online 01/02/2009
Connections 9
Avg Profile Rating
 
About Myself: As of December 22, 2008, I've removed all my stories from the Storiesville site.

Days prior I was contacted by a teacher saying that one of his students had ripped off one of my stories. This also happened to another writer on this site. Despite the copyright notice at the bottom of the page, there is little protection for one's original created works. While I don't hold Storiesville accountable for the theft, I also have not had this problem on any other web sites to which I have posted fiction.

Until I can prevent my stories from being copied here I will no longer post.

Best of luck to you all!

Stories



This user has no published stories.

Comments

Title article: Nightmare
Date: 2008-11-10 17:12:43
Yikes
What did you eat before going to bed? I want to avoid that. 
 
I only gave you a 3 since this is just an idea for a story. Write a story and I'll change my rating. 
 
Love to read more!

Title article: Pretty Girl
Date: 2008-11-10 17:02:58

I liked it, but I have a few questions: 
 
Is Pretty Girl a ghost or a stalker? 
 
Why was the landlord at her door? He wasn't expecting rent so could this apartment be haunted (if PG is a ghost) or is the landlord in on the scam (if PG isn't a ghost). 
 
Loved the boss. 
 
Remember your time sequence...Lilly actually watches some of the tape so the Blue Screen of Death shouldn't show up until after she's seen PG. Maybe a wide shot of him standing behind her while she's watching the tape. 
 
All in all, good stuff.

Title article: Can't Take The Pressure
Date: 2008-11-10 15:35:05

I tried to read this last night, but it wouldn't post. Glad I read it today 'cuz I needed a smile. 
 
Very funny and entertaining, loved the ending!

Title article: Chosen
Date: 2008-11-10 00:09:46

What kind of crazy kills people for a traffic blunder then fixes the pool? :-0 You're scaring me. 
 
I was a little thrown by the tense shift towards the end. It was past tense, then present then back to past. Otherwise this was a very good story that moved well.

Title article: The True Nature of Reality
Date: 2008-11-09 23:56:20

A very nice story. I like the idea of fairies and gnomes running around, but I'm not sure about them peeking up the receptionist's dress. :-0 
 
There were a few sentences that need to be condensed to help the flow of the story, but otherwise it was a very good read!

Title article: Bird
Date: 2008-11-09 23:48:41

You did a good job describing the bird and the interest the person had in it. I knew it was going to die by the end of the first paragraph, which was very sad. 
 
I noticed you used "was sat" twice in two sentences. I would pick one of the two rather than both. 
 
Otherwise, nice story!

Title article: Becky
Date: 2008-11-09 23:44:00

This story fits in very well with your others. So far I've enjoyed all that you've written. 
 
I especially liked this sentence: "Sadness followed by the dull melancholia that lingers in cold places that have outlived the people that built them." Except I would probably change it to melancholy and change the last "that" to "who". 
 
Write on!

Title article: I'm Not Dead", Chapter 1
Date: 2008-11-09 23:29:49

That was pretty creepy. I wish I could say its totally implausible, but I fear it is more real than any of us imagine. 
 
I gave you a 3 because punctuation, sentence structure, and grammar need work.

Title article: CAW!!!, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-11-08 02:54:05

Interesting story, but could have used more leading up to being talked down from the ledge. 
 
Also, a number of grammatical & punctuation errors made this kind of hard to read. 
 
Overall, it was a good premise, but just needs some polish. 
 
Write on!

Title article: Red Harvest
Date: 2008-11-06 21:47:27

This was a very brutal story. I didn't understand what her father did to bring down such wrath on his family. I would focus more on this part of the story rather than the description of the market. Also, I noticed quite a few typos and spelling errors.  
 
Finally (and this is the reason NO ONE will watch a movie with me) photographs as we know them now were not available during the Civil War. The most popular form of photography was the tintype, an improved version of the Daguerreotype. The photograph was a negative image on a small piece of metal. You can still have the photograph in the story, but it can't be torn or tattered or else it will jump out like a honking goose for anyone with knowledge of the Civil War era or photography.

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
12/13/2008 20:41:47Re:Is anyone else having problems?Off-Topic246
12/13/2008 18:07:44Is anyone else having problems?Off-Topic246
11/17/2008 20:17:57Re:Allmine is greatOff-Topic812
11/01/2008 23:13:00Re:Deletions?Off-Topic723
10/30/2008 20:02:56Re:I Need HelpOff-Topic278
10/28/2008 15:54:28Re:There is a leg on my deckOff-Topic1227
10/28/2008 15:48:33Re:Children do not like lemonsOff-Topic357
10/27/2008 22:05:35There is a leg on my deckOff-Topic1227
10/26/2008 23:42:17Re:The Forum Is A ToolOff-Topic286
10/22/2008 01:06:24Re:I must perservereOff-Topic910

Connection

Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat)'s connections

OFFLINE christopher altendorf (brothersee)
OFFLINE Timothy Jay (TimothyAJ86)
OFFLINE Crystal (crystalv)
OFFLINE Kira (kira73)
OFFLINE J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)
OFFLINE Raven Moffitt (StormWriter)
OFFLINE Matthew Lippart (mlippart)
OFFLINE Albert (JJ1)
OFFLINE Billy (Vango)
 

Guestbook


Name Entry
J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)

Arctic Cirlce
 Created On: 10/31/2008 08:22:47
So, you're in a cold, remote part of Wyoming, eh? I have a question:

Which part of Wyoming ISN'T cold and remote?

You're a great writer and a fabulous reviewer. Even if I'm not your favorite.

Pictures

Picture/Images uploaded by the member



No Items published in this profile gallery
 

Favorites

Total number of favourites: 6

Title 
»  ANNA AND HER SEVEN SECRETS.
»  Ideal
»  Ashes To Ashes