Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat) Profile Page
Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat)
Hits 1767
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 09/26/2008
Last Online 01/02/2009
Connections 9
Avg Profile Rating
 
About Myself: As of December 22, 2008, I've removed all my stories from the Storiesville site.

Days prior I was contacted by a teacher saying that one of his students had ripped off one of my stories. This also happened to another writer on this site. Despite the copyright notice at the bottom of the page, there is little protection for one's original created works. While I don't hold Storiesville accountable for the theft, I also have not had this problem on any other web sites to which I have posted fiction.

Until I can prevent my stories from being copied here I will no longer post.

Best of luck to you all!

Stories



This user has no published stories.

Comments

Title article: The cut.
Date: 2008-11-18 23:18:06

I just posted a story on this subject, not having read your poem...I never read poetry. I may have to start reading more of your poems, though. 
 
You did a very good job conveying the feelings of a cutter in just a few words. Hopefully, you do not suffer from this.

Title article: Work
Date: 2008-11-18 20:51:31

Nope. I was thinking of these words: coutis, sever (did you mean serve) dam, & solem. Also contractions: wont, its, & were.

Title article: Blessed or Warned
Date: 2008-11-18 17:24:16

I was very intrigued by this story. You are a good storyteller, bringing the nasty Indus River and India to life. 
 
I'm not sure about the ending though. Maybe let the reader know in advance what her flight number and departure times were. After such a good story I felt the ending was a little bit of a let down, but maybe that's just me. 
 
Good job overall!

Title article: The Early of Aberdeen
Date: 2008-11-18 16:59:22
What?
This might be an interesting story, but right now it is nothing more than a disjointed paragraph with bad punctuation and spelling. 
 
Please, I'm begging you, don't post stuff like this.

Title article: Work
Date: 2008-11-18 16:55:19

This story had a very interesting premise and was pretty funny. I liked the unexpected phrases like "expenditures and arsenals". 
 
Proper punctuation and spelling is needed to make the story flow better. Also, follow up on ideas such as the main character being dead. I liked the man who really had no idea what was going on babbling about the economy and not making any sense at all, but the story ended too soon after that. Draw it out a little more...tell more about the rest of the day and the utter disregard the main character has for his coworkers. 
 
I am interested to read more of your work.

Title article: Frank
Date: 2008-11-17 21:27:46

This was an interesting enough story, but the paragraphs need to be developed. It is just a bunch of sentences that make reading feel like riding in a jeep over a bunch of dead bodies. 
 
Develop your paragraphs to cover an idea, and work on your wording to make your sentences flow. Your readers will feel like they are gliding along on a new highway and can enjoy your story rather than bumping and lurching along.

Title article: Permanent
Date: 2008-11-12 22:02:05

Wow! What a powerful short story. I was hooked from the first paragraph and shocked at the end; more by the mother's statement than anything else. 
 
Very nice work!

Title article: ANNA AND HER SEVEN SECRETS.
Date: 2008-11-12 17:51:50

I don't think I have ever commented on one of your stories because I never know what to say. 
 
This was a breathtaking look at child abuse without the actual ugly abuse.  
 
I liked the way you told this in both past and present tense. 
 
I liked your choice of words and the way the story flows.  
 
This was simply excellent!

Title article: The Strength in me
Date: 2008-11-12 17:35:49

Very good story about a very frightening time...not only a war but a new baby.  
 
I noticed a few passive verbs that could be replaced with something stronger and commas where they were not needed, but overall your writing is very solid. 
 
If this was from your own experience, glad you made it home & thanks for putting yourself on the line for us!

Title article: Pretty Girl
Date: 2008-11-10 20:03:42

I am really interested to see what you do with this and I hope you post it somewhere. 
 
All I can say about Lilly is she needs a dog...something in the heeler variety. They never sleep. ;-)

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
12/13/2008 20:41:47Re:Is anyone else having problems?Off-Topic246
12/13/2008 18:07:44Is anyone else having problems?Off-Topic246
11/17/2008 20:17:57Re:Allmine is greatOff-Topic813
11/01/2008 23:13:00Re:Deletions?Off-Topic723
10/30/2008 20:02:56Re:I Need HelpOff-Topic278
10/28/2008 15:54:28Re:There is a leg on my deckOff-Topic1227
10/28/2008 15:48:33Re:Children do not like lemonsOff-Topic357
10/27/2008 22:05:35There is a leg on my deckOff-Topic1227
10/26/2008 23:42:17Re:The Forum Is A ToolOff-Topic286
10/22/2008 01:06:24Re:I must perservereOff-Topic910

Connection

Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat)'s connections

OFFLINE christopher altendorf (brothersee)
OFFLINE Timothy Jay (TimothyAJ86)
OFFLINE Crystal (crystalv)
OFFLINE Kira (kira73)
OFFLINE J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)
OFFLINE Raven Moffitt (StormWriter)
OFFLINE Matthew Lippart (mlippart)
OFFLINE Albert (JJ1)
OFFLINE Billy (Vango)
 

Guestbook


Name Entry
J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)

Arctic Cirlce
 Created On: 10/31/2008 08:22:47
So, you're in a cold, remote part of Wyoming, eh? I have a question:

Which part of Wyoming ISN'T cold and remote?

You're a great writer and a fabulous reviewer. Even if I'm not your favorite.

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Total number of favourites: 6

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»  ANNA AND HER SEVEN SECRETS.
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