Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat) Profile Page
Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat)
Hits 1753
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 09/26/2008
Last Online 01/02/2009
Connections 9
Avg Profile Rating
 
About Myself: As of December 22, 2008, I've removed all my stories from the Storiesville site.

Days prior I was contacted by a teacher saying that one of his students had ripped off one of my stories. This also happened to another writer on this site. Despite the copyright notice at the bottom of the page, there is little protection for one's original created works. While I don't hold Storiesville accountable for the theft, I also have not had this problem on any other web sites to which I have posted fiction.

Until I can prevent my stories from being copied here I will no longer post.

Best of luck to you all!

Stories



This user has no published stories.

Comments

Title article: The egg thief
Date: 2008-11-24 15:52:36

What a nice little story. I liked the interplay between the husband and wife and the dogs. People should listen to their dogs rather than telling them to "shut up".  
 
The story does need some editing. One sentence was longer than some of my paragraphs.  
 
Overall, good job!

Title article: Far From Alice's Restaurant
Date: 2008-11-24 15:46:39

This was a very emotional story that packed a big punch. 
 
It does need some editing. For example don't use numerals, write the numbers out. In wrist cutting suicide it's "down the road not across the street"; a horizontal cut works best. Also the paragraphs aren't there which is probably from pasting onto this site. 
 
Overall, great job conveying so much emotion in so little time.

Title article: The Little Girl and the Dog, the Best of Friends
Date: 2008-11-24 15:28:25

Sorry, forgot to rate it.

Title article: The Little Girl and the Dog, the Best of Friends
Date: 2008-11-24 15:27:47

This was a very hard read, but I stuck with it and it was worth it.  
 
I had a 4 pound Pomeranian that was killed & partially eaten by a pit bull. I was devastated for nearly a year so I understand the feelings you convey in the story. Now I'm sad.

Title article: MY LOVELY MOTHER
Date: 2008-11-24 14:59:57

The story itself was good, about the injustices of man and the scared child born with wings. Are they literal wings or metaphorical wings? Hmmm.  
 
The only problem is that there were several words used incorrectly and that made the story hard to read. I'm guessing English is not your first language. Overall, it was worth the read!

Title article: The Ghost Beyond the Attic Door
Date: 2008-11-23 15:11:11

I liked the child's voice in this story. It had enough creep factor to scare adults as well. 
 
"The ghost ate my sister." Isn't that every 8 year old boy's dream. 
 
One suggestion I would make is to note that a story is intended for a younger audience. I skipped over this a few times until I figured it was written for someone younger.

Title article: A Black Wolf on the Playground
Date: 2008-11-22 23:07:54

That'll teach you to be ADD, kid. 
 
I liked this story and felt it moved along very well. There were some problems with verb tense shifts. Keeping the story all in one tense will keep the reader from feeling like she has ADD. Hey! Let's go ride bikes! 
 
I think this is the first story of yours I've read and I'm impressed. Bravo!

Title article: It Doesn't Take Much Ending 7
Date: 2008-11-22 22:57:59

This is my favourite ending so far. I love the clowns...as long as they aren't in my car. I like clowns almost as much as I like grasshoppers. The visual of all of them getting out of the car was too much. 
 
Bravo!

Title article: Ringside
Date: 2008-11-21 23:52:11

Well this was a sad little tale. 
 
I like how you can convey so much in such a short time. It is a real talent. 
 
However, you could extend this story a little and give readers a bigger impact with more emotional involvement. That's just my .02, though. 
 
Bravo!

Title article: Mirrored Lies
Date: 2008-11-21 23:45:14

Nice work for such a short piece. Sometimes I feel like I am that woman in the mirror wondering where my life has gone so the story really had meaning for me. 
 
Good job!

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
12/13/2008 20:41:47Re:Is anyone else having problems?Off-Topic246
12/13/2008 18:07:44Is anyone else having problems?Off-Topic246
11/17/2008 20:17:57Re:Allmine is greatOff-Topic810
11/01/2008 23:13:00Re:Deletions?Off-Topic723
10/30/2008 20:02:56Re:I Need HelpOff-Topic277
10/28/2008 15:54:28Re:There is a leg on my deckOff-Topic1226
10/28/2008 15:48:33Re:Children do not like lemonsOff-Topic357
10/27/2008 22:05:35There is a leg on my deckOff-Topic1226
10/26/2008 23:42:17Re:The Forum Is A ToolOff-Topic286
10/22/2008 01:06:24Re:I must perservereOff-Topic910

Connection

Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat)'s connections

OFFLINE christopher altendorf (brothersee)
OFFLINE Timothy Jay (TimothyAJ86)
OFFLINE Crystal (crystalv)
OFFLINE Kira (kira73)
OFFLINE J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)
OFFLINE Raven Moffitt (StormWriter)
OFFLINE Matthew Lippart (mlippart)
OFFLINE Albert (JJ1)
OFFLINE Billy (Vango)
 

Guestbook


Name Entry
J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)

Arctic Cirlce
 Created On: 10/31/2008 08:22:47
So, you're in a cold, remote part of Wyoming, eh? I have a question:

Which part of Wyoming ISN'T cold and remote?

You're a great writer and a fabulous reviewer. Even if I'm not your favorite.

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