Sorry

Michael O'Reilley was going to apologise to his...

Cassandra's House, Chapter 1

CASSANDRA'S HOUSE Chapter One...
Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat) Profile Page
Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat)
Hits 1766
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 09/26/2008
Last Online 01/02/2009
Connections 9
Avg Profile Rating
 
About Myself: As of December 22, 2008, I've removed all my stories from the Storiesville site.

Days prior I was contacted by a teacher saying that one of his students had ripped off one of my stories. This also happened to another writer on this site. Despite the copyright notice at the bottom of the page, there is little protection for one's original created works. While I don't hold Storiesville accountable for the theft, I also have not had this problem on any other web sites to which I have posted fiction.

Until I can prevent my stories from being copied here I will no longer post.

Best of luck to you all!

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Comments

Title article: Betrayed
Date: 2008-11-06 16:50:32

I liked this quite a bit. Instead of What Would Jesus Do it's What Would Jesus Say. 
 
I liked how you put the character and the truck from Lariat in this story as well.  
 
The dialogue was good, no errors glared out at me and overall it was a good read on an interesting subject.

Title article: The Poet: An Introduction, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-11-06 00:24:52

I don't understand what you were doing jumping back and forth between dates. I was very confused. 
 
Also, there are many grammatical, spelling & punctuation errors in this piece. This is distracting and makes it even harder to read. 
 
A little more polish and fleshing out the back story might make this a better read.

Title article: Enemies
Date: 2008-11-06 00:17:57

This was an interesting premise, both the immortal bad guy and the way you told the tale. However, you need to shorten your sentences and use proper punctuation.

Title article: Confessions of a Teenage Psyche Case
Date: 2008-11-05 20:15:24

Sometimes "Apple Jacks Day" is the best you can hope for. 
 
I would love to hear the stories behind some of the diary entries.

Title article: Lariat - A Story of Regret
Date: 2008-11-05 19:46:41

I like the drawn out pace of this story...reminds me of the people around here. I also like the descriptions of the "crooked truck", the "one-eyed dog" and "black tears". It had a Lonesome Dove feel to it and I hope you do more with it.

Title article: Ideal
Date: 2008-11-04 19:12:42
Sex and chaos
This was definitely my kind of story! And the reason I don't pick up guys in bars. HA! 
 
There were a few too many 'Like I said' phrases, but other than that I liked the pace and the way you described her and the jazz club. I loved the line 'We made the kind of love only emotional vacancy can inspire.' 
 
Please write more!

Title article: A Crack in the Human Condition
Date: 2008-11-04 18:45:09

This was a very disturbing story. I liked how it started with the confession, and how there was a break when the confession ended for the evening. However, the middle part sort of dragged on and the ending was a little confusing. Also, there were numerous typos, punctuation errors, misspelled words, gramatical errors and tense shifts that need to be fixed. 
 
A little editing will make this a gem.

Title article: Ghostly Manifestations
Date: 2008-11-03 20:56:28

I would really like to read this, but I'm afraid it is too highbrow for me. After reading two paragraphs, I had no idea what I read and had to give it another go. Unfortunately, I didn't make it beyond the two paragraphs. 
 
What I did read was well written, but it reminded me of something written in the 1800s. I hate to say this, but you're going to have to dumb it down for me. 
 
Also, the length is extremely daunting. You would probably get more comments if you broke it up into chapters. I have an extremely short attention span and seeing something this long makes me return to the home page.

Title article: Caleb's Courage, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-11-01 03:45:14

I liked this story a great deal...the idea of the creature actually being Courage was fabulous. And some sentences, such as "One that demanded sharp deafening screams, heartbeats and sweat." were very visual. However, the story does need a lot of editing. Fixing the errors would make this a gem of a tale.

Title article: Halloween, Chapter 11
Date: 2008-10-31 15:17:14

Remind me not to piss you off. : 0

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
12/13/2008 20:41:47Re:Is anyone else having problems?Off-Topic246
12/13/2008 18:07:44Is anyone else having problems?Off-Topic246
11/17/2008 20:17:57Re:Allmine is greatOff-Topic813
11/01/2008 23:13:00Re:Deletions?Off-Topic723
10/30/2008 20:02:56Re:I Need HelpOff-Topic278
10/28/2008 15:54:28Re:There is a leg on my deckOff-Topic1227
10/28/2008 15:48:33Re:Children do not like lemonsOff-Topic357
10/27/2008 22:05:35There is a leg on my deckOff-Topic1227
10/26/2008 23:42:17Re:The Forum Is A ToolOff-Topic286
10/22/2008 01:06:24Re:I must perservereOff-Topic910

Connection

Holly Cabiedas (yellowcat)'s connections

OFFLINE christopher altendorf (brothersee)
OFFLINE Timothy Jay (TimothyAJ86)
OFFLINE Crystal (crystalv)
OFFLINE Kira (kira73)
OFFLINE J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)
OFFLINE Raven Moffitt (StormWriter)
OFFLINE Matthew Lippart (mlippart)
OFFLINE Albert (JJ1)
OFFLINE Billy (Vango)
 

Guestbook


Name Entry
J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)

Arctic Cirlce
 Created On: 10/31/2008 08:22:47
So, you're in a cold, remote part of Wyoming, eh? I have a question:

Which part of Wyoming ISN'T cold and remote?

You're a great writer and a fabulous reviewer. Even if I'm not your favorite.

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Total number of favourites: 6

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