Short Stories | Storiesville.com - Jag Blane (jagblane)

Jag Blane (jagblane) Profile Page

Hits	677
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	07/29/2008
Last Online	01/03/2009
Connections	2
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About Myself:

I've only got to eat one endangered species.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Aug 16, 2008	Living a Death	Poetry	158
Aug 16, 2008	B	Poetry	135
Aug 14, 2008	The Cautionary Tale of Bert	Poetry	161
Aug 8, 2008	Roulette Anyone?	Poetry	141
Aug 6, 2008	Three little Questions	Non-Fiction	264
Aug 4, 2008	Supper	Horror	214
Aug 1, 2008	The Bits Between My teeth	Poetry	151

Comments

Total number of comments: 35

Title article: Unpredictable Suicide
Date: 2008-08-27 16:38:17

ah the tradgic youth how entertaining they are. It has to be the best thing about being young the feeling that you are the first person to feel any emotion. Carry on writing so when you reach maturity you can look back and see how many others have been on the same journey. When you do you will see just how unalone you are.

Title article: WET AND DRY (Gambia 1999)
Date: 2008-08-19 16:31:59

Are you sure this didn't take place in Wales? It sounds very familar, lots of rain, guys in knackered old cars all it needed was a few sheep! Still a good tale as long as it's not for he Gambia Tourist Board! Carry on with tales like this and we all want to live there!

Title article: Living a Death
Date: 2008-08-19 05:21:14

for those who fail to see it just look in the first 4 lines and you can see AIDS clearly

Title article: My Sweet Black Rose
Date: 2008-08-17 16:25:16

Great pictures but unfortunalty to long. Maybe you should try to change the lay out a little so those of us with less average memory retention can keep the message in our heads. Sometime the art of the peom is to say little but mean alot. You certainly know how to "mean" alot but it's the spaces that make the reader think and therefore ultimatly engage with a piece. But don't let me discourage you from some fine writing.

Title article: CRAZY (Gambia 2005)
Date: 2008-08-17 16:13:49

yet again a fantastic tale that make the reader wonder if they are in world that denies logic or if you are just leading us atray. Personally I hope it's the first one! Good stuff keep on writing.

Title article: The Dragon
Date: 2008-08-13 16:36:05

So the evil prince wasn't a problem at all just the dragon? Why do people always have it in for the dragon? Dragon's are great so give them a break!

Title article: MELTING IN THE HEAT. (Aids Week, Gambia 2004)
Date: 2008-08-13 15:52:25

Absolutly great. The idea of watching yourself fall apart to something like AIDS is something truely terrible and you have captured it. I can see for some the way of infection is a bit abstract but to me it seems as that you have captured the way this dieses works very well.

Title article: Telephone Meow
Date: 2008-08-12 13:48:35

If you split this into a few paragraphs it would certainly improve the "readability" of the piece. Still the oddness of this is great and you should think extending it to have Alan desecend into cat slavery at a slower pace, after all when does a cat rush to do anything if it can get away with doing it slowly?

Title article: A Foot in the Door, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-08-12 06:36:19

Well constucted and written, we can only hope you have some very devilish twist instore for this black widow and the easly lead salesman(a classic combination for this genre) It could be a little to easy for you, however, to fall the wrong side of the word classic and produce something that falls short by using to many cliches. Carry on as I will look forward to finding out!

Title article: ALL THAT GAS (Gambia 2001)
Date: 2008-08-10 16:39:38

I want one! My business overheads would pulmet. And just to make it clear the bottle would contain L.P.G. (liquid Propane gas) and the way to tell how much is in them is to identify the tare weight and then weigh the cylinder. So all you need is some good scales and the less than honest sales persons will find it hard to rip you off. Carry on with the memoirs

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