Eliot Rosenstock (Eliot Rosenstock) Profile Page
Eliot Rosenstock (Eliot Rosenstock)
Hits 891
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 07/18/2008
Last Online 01/08/2009
Connections 12
Avg Profile Rating
 
Website/Blog: www.myspace.com/indytagmusic
About Myself: My name is Eliot. I write stories.

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Jan 8, 2009TV NewsPoetry 21
Jan 1, 2009Lord Have Mercy #1+2Humor 590
Dec 28, 2008ChoicePoetry 152
Dec 19, 2008Lord have Mercy #1Humor 811
Nov 27, 2008ThirteenPoetry 147
Aug 9, 2008HeyPoetry 186
Jul 23, 2008The Meeting With the KingHumor 221
Jul 22, 2008Cigarettes and Cluster BombsMiscellaneous Stories 249
Jul 18, 2008Ant on a HillMiscellaneous Stories 230

Comments

Title article: My Story
Date: 2008-12-27 05:04:56

Agree with fill. 
 
My mother once said, "Lose the 'tude, no one likes a prick" 
 
This character seems like she has no redeemable character value at all, the kind of girl that I for some reason, always end up going out with. 
 
Why are bitches so much more attractive? Does hate for others and and ego the size of texas work as sexy tonic? I don't know...strange how the world is. 
 
I think i went off topic a bit, lol. 
 
anyways, 2 for devil wears prada disjointed writers version' 
 
I will say this though, you're other story shows potential! Don;t make your main character's jokes based on making fun of less attractive people. That's basically 14 year old girl sh*t. 
 
 
keep working at it though, and use a real font for god sakes! :P

Title article: School TV Drama
Date: 2008-12-27 04:52:30

While the font made me want to gouge my eyes out and the story read like the fantasy world of a air-headed over-privileged bimbo.. 
 
I almost shit myself laughing when I read  
"take the blindfold off and try and stay calm" 
"This is for you my love" I couldn't even speak" 
"I can't take it" 
"You can and you will, if not, I will stick int in your driveway, keep it there until you mentally or physically can't stop looking at it, foring you to accept it." 
 
So points for that.  
 
The story is well written, but try to be influenced by something besides Bring it On 2 and Laguna Beach. 
 
But hey, they say write what you know right? 
 
3, but 4 for the unintentionally dirty convo

Title article: One Day
Date: 2008-12-24 22:16:45

Don't pay attention to the person who called it a simplistic poem, there is a difference between minimalism and simplicity.  
 
Good poem, conveyed what you wanted to convey

Title article: Lord have Mercy #1
Date: 2008-12-24 21:50:10

first chapter cut up : )

Title article: Lord have Mercy #1
Date: 2008-12-24 21:45:13

ya, I'm thinking about cutting up the first chapter a lot to make it start a bit quicker. Thanks for the comment Mike!

Title article: Worth more than we think, Chapter 2
Date: 2008-12-24 21:42:57
hmm
well, Let me start about what I did like. You made a point to describe Frank's surroundings, which is something that many people don't do on this s 
 
The women are done in a way that reminds of a stephen colbert joke book. Instead of "the attractive woman" and then later "the very attractive woman," try something less direct like the raven haired woman in the front office, it gives it more depth. 
 
Keep workin at it father Reggie!

Title article: Shotgun
Date: 2008-12-24 21:30:18

just because you write for yourself doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to improve and organize your thoughts in a cohesive manner in my opinion, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

Title article: Shotgun
Date: 2008-12-24 21:27:44

This seemed somewhat disorganized, which might be the point, but the poem jumps around and some of the lines are put together in stanzas in ways that dont make sense. try not using unnecessary words, especially pronouns, for instance, 
 
Crucified and nailed into place/ 
Rats in a cage, science experiments by the hand god/ 
Beating wings nest inside my brain 
Losing focus, ect.

Title article: Vagabond
Date: 2008-12-24 17:39:52

I like this poem, you definitely have a talent for painting af picture with your words. Keep on writing and give writing short stories another shot, you're talented : )

Title article: Lust is Blind
Date: 2008-12-24 06:32:27
good effort
Try a different rhyme scheme besides 
 
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 
 
it's a bit monotonous. The words and the message put forth to the reader is thought out decently, keep writing!

Forum

This user has no forum posts.

Connection

Eliot Rosenstock (Eliot Rosenstock)'s connections

OFFLINE J. J. White (whitj310)
OFFLINE Manali H. Shah (manaliwrites)
OFFLINE Michael Evans (Mikeevans)
OFFLINE Xena Elvoniche (Xena)
OFFLINE Novia (noviasoo)
OFFLINE Philip Neale (philneale1952)
OFFLINE J Schilling (Ruby Whispers)
OFFLINE Joel Monroe (Joelmonroe)
OFFLINE stickfigure (sTiCkFiGuRe)
OFFLINE j.p. martin (jipper)
 
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 Next > End >>

Guestbook


Name Entry
Philip Neale (philneale1952)

Heanor, Derbyshire
 Created On: 12/20/2008 23:55:09
First one in the book? Yee Haa!

Best wishes now that we're back up and running.

Phil

Pictures

Picture/Images uploaded by the member



No Items published in this profile gallery