Short Stories | Storiesville.com - fabian villegas (fevilleg)

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fabian villegas (fevilleg) Profile Page

Hits	866
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	06/30/2008
Last Online	10/11/2008
Connections	6
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About Myself:

Student, writer, hooker killer. I'm educated but im vulgar, i'm cynical but optimistic, i'm blunt but articulate, i'm an asshole but I have a good heart, im disliked by many but really really loved by a few. I wouldn't want it any other way. I was introverted in my youth, and very extroverted in my adolescence. I have been a geek and a jock, a nerd and a frat boy. I have a twisted sense of humor and i love horror. My influences are Chuck Palahniuk, H.P. Lovecraft, Kurt Vonnegut and Ray Bradbury. I love my schools UC Riverside and Arizona State University.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Jul 9, 2008	Confession	Horror	243
Jul 8, 2008	The Gift	Miscellaneous Stories	177
Jul 2, 2008	Corruption	Horror	203
Jul 1, 2008	Growth	Horror	584
Jul 1, 2008	The Weight	Horror	180

Comments

Total number of comments: 66

Title article: You Want What?
Date: 2008-10-09 00:05:24

great
i like the intro, it's amusing and captivating. the dialogue flows smoothly. good job.

Title article: Stick, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-07-19 00:08:02

good start to the story, i genuinely want to know what happens next, i feel a sense of curiosity and can't wait until you delve further into the story.

Title article: While Breaking the Walls into Pieces
Date: 2008-07-18 23:59:07

very stream of consciousness. you jump around a lot and it's kind of hard to keep track of it, but keep working on it. you really have something here

Title article: Ant on a Hill
Date: 2008-07-18 23:55:31

a little long but kept me interested. i was intrigued from the beggining and no grammatical errors jumped up at me which is not very common, so good job.

Title article: BURROWED
Date: 2008-07-16 21:25:23

great story, very descriptive and sickening, i loved it. i would suggest though, that you think about cutting out the last sentence, or replacing it with something better, it just seems out of place and anti-climactic.

Title article: Just Let Me Eat You
Date: 2008-07-16 16:07:18

very good job, kept me entertained throughout. I was a little confused by the end but i have also been drinking so bear with me. maybe you coulkd elaborate a little more on how he came to be in that situation

Title article: Circus
Date: 2008-07-16 16:05:49

great story, very descriptive. you actually take us into the mind of the killer, and it is very nuanced as well. good job. Then ending was also very good, the actual murder scene seems a little rushed, but that may because i'm a sick bastard and i like death scenes.

Title article: Lights, Camera, Action.
Date: 2008-07-16 03:32:05

very descriptive and entertaining. i found myself reading the entire things and not once skimming, which is a bad habit of mine. Good job overall

Title article: The People From The Sky I: Man On The Moon
Date: 2008-07-13 20:45:12

fantastic writing. ver reminiscent of Ray Bradbury and H.P. Lovecraft. the first sentence seems like a run-on but i might be mistaken. i was thoroughly impressed.

Title article: Smile
Date: 2008-07-13 20:23:42

i have to agree, it jumps around and it is a little jarring. overall the mood you describe is good, it is somber and scary. I enjoyed the twist in the end, and it is overall an excellent story. Just needs a little work to polish it. fantastic effort.