A Toothy Tale

In most issues in life, it is ultimately the heart of...

The People From The Sky I: Man On The Moon

THE PEOPLE FROM THE SKY PART I:...
Lily Qwert (novel.idea) Profile Page
Lily Qwert (novel.idea)
Hits 468
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 06/13/2008
Last Online 08/28/2008
Connections 5
Avg Profile Rating
 

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Aug 23, 2008Is It True?Poetry 59
Aug 4, 2008Loved To DeathMiscellaneous Stories 103
Jul 4, 2008The Love That Was Never To Have BeenRomance 164
Jul 4, 2008Kisha's Adventure, Chapter 7Adventure 86
Jul 1, 2008Kisha's Adventure, Chapter 6Adventure 85
Jul 1, 2008The Price of Greed (Improved Version)Horror 115
Jun 29, 2008Kisha's Adventure, Chapter 5Adventure 78
Jun 29, 2008The Price of GreedHorror 163
Jun 27, 2008Kisha's Adventure, Chapter 4Adventure 71
Jun 27, 2008The Rainy Day ManRomance 191
Jun 24, 2008Kisha's adventure, Chapter 3Adventure 76
Jun 21, 2008Kisha's Adventure, Chapter 2Adventure 76
Jun 15, 2008The Path That Time ForgotPoetry 78
Jun 15, 2008The Adventure's of Sue: Sue's Second AdventureAdventure 94
Jun 15, 2008Kisha's Adventure, Chapter 1Adventure 84
Jun 13, 2008The Adventures of Sue: Sue's First AdventureAdventure 121
Jun 13, 2008The Magical Village of PifferAdventure 117
Jun 13, 2008A random story I wrote (with comments from someone)Romance 215

Comments

Total number of comments: 28

Title article: Dragonslayer, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-08-28 17:42:51
Good start
I am very interested as to what will happen next. 
"eves hate to not help people" I think that you meant elves. You also spelled laughter wrong at the beginning of the fifth paragraph. 
I think that it started out very well.

Title article: The coast
Date: 2008-08-23 19:24:35

I really liked this poem and I too liked your rhyming. 
I don't understand the line 'I would be happy that it is me it saves.' could you explain that?

Title article: A peom 4th (As they come i hide)
Date: 2008-08-18 15:09:57

The first line doesn't make sense to me. It looks to me like you were trying to rhyme so you added in the word night on the end. 
I think that you need to read it again and fix some of your grammar mistakes. I also think that you shouldn't have used the number 2 you should have written out the word two. It just doesn't look right. 
It might have been a good poem but I'm not quite sure that I understand it enough to say.

Title article: A Foot in the Door - Conclusion, Chapter 2
Date: 2008-08-14 09:30:32

I like how in the first one you described the picture. I never would have known what it was. 
I'd really like to know, if David didn't kill the guy, who did?

Title article: Head Tree
Date: 2008-08-13 16:02:49

The story didn't make much sense to me. 
And he obviously couldn't cut the tree down since he couldn't kill himself because he didn't have anything sharp.

Title article: The Dragon
Date: 2008-08-13 15:39:47

I like your poem but I don't understand how 'But the dragon it got her And took her true love away'. If it got her why didn't it take her away? 
I really like the poem though.

Title article: Loved To Death
Date: 2008-08-07 18:05:50

He killed his brother, not to get money, but because he was mad at his brother. Jerry wasn't expecting to get any money from it.

Title article: Mirror, Mirror, Chapter 3
Date: 2008-07-20 20:18:05

I like the story but I would really like to know what is inside the mirror. Is there a whole world in there or just one room? 
Also, I don't think you should put part of the last chapter at the beginning of the next. The chapters are all together so if I forget something I can just go back and look.

Title article: Mr.Silver. Bellhop on 4th street Part2 (A story of bad grammar!)!
Date: 2008-07-07 17:57:22

How does Mr. Silver know who the Blood Clan members are? 
And why doesn't Mr. Patts fire Silver for killing all his customers?

Title article: Mr.Silver. Bellhop on 4th street (A story of bad grammar!)!
Date: 2008-07-07 17:48:52

Business man man needs a name; unless Business man man is his name in which case it should be Business Man Man. But I think that it is much too long and confusing to read every time.

<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 Next > End >>

Forum

This user has no forum posts.

Connection

Lily Qwert (novel.idea)'s connections

OFFLINE Robyn Taylor (rtvols344)
OFFLINE Evan Dover (E.Dover)
OFFLINE ~Fletcher Emo Screamo ~ (ThatPsycoArtistFletcher10)
OFFLINE Emily (screamfordonkeys)
OFFLINE Gwyn (Darkness.of.Mystery)
 

Guestbook


Name Entry
Philip Neale (philneale1952)

Derbyshire, England
 Created On: 07/21/2008 00:47:47
Good Morning. Thank for the comments on Mirror...........I like to tease, that's why the 'lead-ins' and end of chapter 'coming soons' are there.

Phil
~Fletcher Emo Screamo ~ (ThatPsycoArtistFletcher10)

 Created On: 06/13/2008 14:31:35
Hey i dont know you...
but i like your stuff and you kept adding me so i guess i added you...

Pictures

Picture/Images uploaded by the member



No Items published in this profile gallery
 

Remove Ads