Short Stories | Storiesville.com - mick beville (garyowen)

The People From The Sky I: Man On The Moon

THE PEOPLE FROM THE SKY PART I:...

When the train doors opened, a blast of sticky air...

mick beville (garyowen) Profile Page

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Member Since	05/25/2008
Last Online	09/07/2008
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About Myself:

TO GOOD TO BE TRUE

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Sep 6, 2008	is this poetry	Poetry	60
Sep 5, 2008	Jeans	Non-Fiction	47
Aug 23, 2008	Under my skin, Chapter 1	Miscellaneous Stories	53
Aug 22, 2008	The End	Miscellaneous Stories	75
Aug 20, 2008	Dad Love	Non-Fiction	89
Aug 13, 2008	Garryowen, Chapter 4	Non-Fiction	50
Aug 12, 2008	garryowen, Chapter 3	Non-Fiction	62
Aug 11, 2008	Garryowen, Chapter 2	Non-Fiction	79
Aug 5, 2008	Eleanor, Chapter 10	Adventure	54
Aug 5, 2008	Eleanor, Chapter 9	Adventure	63
Aug 2, 2008	Eleanor, Chapter 8	Adventure	69
Jul 31, 2008	Eleanor, Chapter 7	Adventure	75
Jul 27, 2008	Eleanor, Chapter 6	Adventure	70
Jul 26, 2008	Eleanor, Chapter 5	Adventure	81
Jul 24, 2008	Eleanor, Chapter 4	Adventure	70
Jul 23, 2008	Eleanor, Chapter 3	Adventure	84
Jul 20, 2008	Eleanor, Chapter 2	Adventure	97
Jul 20, 2008	Eleanor	Miscellaneous Stories	122
Jul 15, 2008	Why	Poetry	149
Jul 3, 2008	Just another point of view	Poetry	136

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Comments

Total number of comments: 129

Title article: Rendition Of A Rose
Date: 2008-09-06 17:12:25

cetainly some work and craft whent into this poem pilgrin and all credit to you for that

Title article: Sundown in a Familiar City
Date: 2008-09-06 01:55:28

Absolutely charming was the feeling this poem left in my mind
I love the connection with your mother. Very well written also.

Title article: The Thief -- A Haiku
Date: 2008-09-06 01:32:19

This was a great haiku. I think that a good haiku is like a clear note that strikes the ear for the first time, and this was pure to my ear.

Bravo my Indian freind

Title article: Vast Fear
Date: 2008-09-05 01:38:44

This read like poetry, and good on you for that. It is nice to reader a writer with a feel for imagery, and you are certainly that. I will look forward to reading more.

Title article: Missing
Date: 2008-09-05 01:24:29

This is a good story but to add to the negative it it could be somewhat tightened up. example- opening paragraph-

'Officer John Matthews brought the police cruiser to a stop in front of the ramshackle house. There was a body lying naked and still on the lawn. Drawing their weapons, they made their way up to the body,

The reader is presented with one officer in the opening line and without explanation the reader is then faced with 'thier'and then 'they.'

writing that four paramedics jump out of the ambulance, is not neaded and only makes the flow of the story cumbersome. The story itself has great merit and could be told with a much reduced word count

Title article: IT'S HARD
Date: 2008-09-05 00:59:49

You conveyed lifes journey very well. An audible cry from the page. I guess easy just wouldn't cut it for a worthwhile existance
The simplicity works.

Title article: Gabriel Visits
Date: 2008-09-05 00:47:37

The writing is good and flows. the subject matter however has been done to death. reach inside and find something something new

Title article: From Stagnant Water
Date: 2008-09-03 03:15:01

To be honest Jason I thought the story had potential but was far too loosely written for humour. Maybe tighten the word count by about one quarter. Humour is the toughest of the arts and has to be tight.

Title article: BABY.
Date: 2008-09-02 02:43:52

You do have the gift terry. This strey was full of imagery. well done

Title article: CROWS and PIGEONS
Date: 2008-09-02 02:37:35

This sounds a lot like an old indian story. but if it is truely your own work, then you are very gifted for such wisdom is a rare gift indeed.