Short Stories | Storiesville.com - strawberrywino (strawberrywino)

The birth of my nephew is what brought me back to...

The Adventures Of Pugswallow, Chapter 1

Pugswallow sat in a mud puddle popping bubbles and...

strawberrywino (strawberrywino) Profile Page

Hits	977
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	05/22/2008
Last Online	08/12/2008
Connections	3
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About Myself:

its all about me!
I suck at grammar, spelling, and punctuation. So all critiques (of my story) are welcome.
I know I can be taken wrong so at least know this; I try to be helpful, not hurtful.
Unless you put stuff up that will bring the goodness of this site down, plagiarism, copyright infringement, bad work you know is bad but intentionally put on here anyway, ect.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Jul 1, 2008	The Fairy's Retribution	Poetry	199
May 22, 2008	Conners Ghostly Summer	Mystery	714

Comments

Title article: Money: A life's worth
Date: 2008-06-13 01:09:25

great story
needs editing but wow it really makes me think.

Title article: Blood on the Tile
Date: 2008-06-13 00:20:30

...
good story

Title article: A Zombie Night
Date: 2008-06-12 23:47:13

good story
8th line from bottom = from of his undead lungs. don't think of should be there. last sentence should be is not in.

Title article: Broken Oath-Part 1
Date: 2008-06-12 23:31:13

great story
i loved it.

Title article: Fulfilled
Date: 2008-06-12 20:36:48

I didn't know
peterbilt cars. well i still think it reads as an, and then, story.you said the other story wAS 3 yrs older, i'm not seeing a difference in your writing just a difference in the story itself as though you wrote it to meet your style instead of improving your style. i feel you put to much effort into left and rt if that makes sence to you example= wino turned her head to the right while picking up a pencil with her left hand. = wino turned her head in the direction of the noise picking up a pencil to defend herself. it's a pet peeve, my reletives and friends have tried to force me to write like that.because it feels like a begining writer i don't like writing like that, though i did listen to them. all the books i read do not write like that. anyway i think you are one of the best writers i've read on the nets.

Title article: Old Habits Die Hard
Date: 2008-06-12 18:39:47

i loved the story!
i learnded something from the comment section. i write the "and then what happens" didn't have a name for it, just knew i needed to add thoughts and feelings. writing is hard work when you have so many flaws to work out.how did you manage to work out your habits?

Title article: Make Profits not Ethics
Date: 2008-06-12 17:44:12

Paragraphs please!
I agree with everything you say. Corporations are taking over everything. Everyone from the small farmer to the small business owner is being wiped out. They can’t compete an example = it was cheaper for me to buy wholesale through Sam’s Club then from the company that made the item.

Another example electric company (name with held) tried to dump 30 feet tall by over 3000 feet long of fly ash on the (air port) next to us. Still don’t fully understand the concept of unregulated regulations. They stopped but can restart at any given time.

I have no choice of electric company or phone company isn’t that suppose to be monopolization? Why can they do it but Microsoft can’t?

Sit back and do nothing and you will slowly see the end of the world.

Title article: The Three Women
Date: 2008-06-12 11:34:11

...
Good stories always seem to end to soon.

Title article: Cracked Perfection
Date: 2008-06-12 10:40:06

repeated
way too much for my licking.She willing came to him. should be =willingly. He could here her voice, trembling. = hear
They only thing he didn't take into account =the

Title article: C.S.I. (Counter Strike Investigations)
Date: 2008-06-12 09:17:22

reminds me of tron
is this game like socom ?

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strawberrywino (strawberrywino)'s connections

Mike Robinson (MRRobinson)

D.A. Ross (D.A. Ross)

Billy (Vango)

Guestbook

Name	Entry
D.A. Ross (D.A. Ross) Earth	Created On: 06/24/2008 21:31:03 Sorry, i forgot to rate you
Mike Robinson (MRRobinson) Nowhere, everywhere	Created On: 06/21/2008 19:19:08 Thanks for reading Weed-Killer, it is one of my favorite writes.
D.A. Ross (D.A. Ross) Earth	Created On: 06/20/2008 19:53:18 Im the first!!!! Enjoyed your story, look forward to more.

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