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james voketaitis (hidden lines) Profile Page

Hits	296
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	04/15/2007 03:59:58
Last Online	06/17/2007 01:44:37
Last Updated	Never
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Total number of comments: 3

Title article: Im In Love with My BestFriend
Date: 2007-06-16 02:31:18

in defense of sunshine
You said: ?far as Sunshine, well I think she lacks some bulbs up there and needs an extra dose of Meds.? I must take issue with this statement, as Sunshine had only read your story and noticed some egregious grammatical errors (I am a English Professor who teaches writing skills at the college level) and was only pointing them out to you, as this was a story that you had submitted to a writing contest. I thought it might help if I pointed out some of what she was referring to. See below:

Even though we met under unusual circumstances [Add comma (Use a comma to set off most introductory elements)] I felt it was love at first site. Well [Add comma)] I had a huge crush. His name was Donnie White [Add comma (Use a comma before and, but, or another coordinating conjunction linking main clauses)] and he was one of the nicest boys I had ever met. It was 1995 [This is a repeated error. Please check the rest of your paper for similar errors.] and I was a junior in high school. We were from different districts and so we had never met before this tragic in his family left his uncle dead from a gunshot wound to the head. [This sentence is confusing.]

Title article: Two Private Souls and Morning
Date: 2007-06-12 06:25:51

interesting story, however, wondered why the character ran into his house and locked all of the doors

Title article: Im In Love with My BestFriend
Date: 2007-06-12 06:07:06

interesting, but I would have liked to have know what happened to Donnie and his girlfriend... :eek

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