J.J (soulwriter) Profile Page
J.J (soulwriter)
Hits 1068
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 04/24/2008
Last Online 10/11/2008
Connections 1
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Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Aug 4, 2008Catching madness without losin' ItPoetry 101
Jul 15, 2008Two Sides of the SpectrumMiscellaneous Stories 126
Jul 14, 2008Imagination Encircles The WorldPoetry 146
Jul 13, 2008Her Most Loyal ManPoetry 141
Jul 6, 2008That One Perfect ChordPoetry 144
Jul 3, 2008Whistlin' Past the GraveyardPoetry 172
Jul 2, 2008Everything You Can ThinkPoetry 140
Jun 30, 2008Building Steam with a Grain of GodPoetry 258
Jun 28, 2008In a Sentimental MoodPoetry 115
Jun 28, 2008Self-Portrait in Three ColorsPoetry 99
Jun 26, 2008What goes on in the suburban streetsPoetry 114
Jun 24, 2008It's the MoneyPoetry 121
Jun 24, 2008She and she alonePoetry 114
Jun 21, 2008Watching the dreamersPoetry 108
Jun 17, 2008Something about confusionPoetry 121
Jun 14, 2008Though it was only dreaming, it stayed with me (poem)Poetry 86
Jun 13, 2008The Passenger (a poem)Poetry 104
Jun 13, 2008The Average Man (a poem)Poetry 120
Jun 5, 2008Feeling nostalgic for when tomorrow was your future?Miscellaneous Stories 145
Jun 1, 2008Dream #1Miscellaneous Stories 149
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Comments

Title article: She and she alone
Date: 2008-06-24 21:10:16

Ah-hah, I didn't mean that. I meant she still looks good even when the background is really ugly and vile.

Title article: Parapraxis
Date: 2008-06-15 07:35:29
Pretty good.
One problem - Lilly leaving Rob in the diner. The scene is done too fast, you need to describe it in more detail - maybe another description of the other patrons of the diner. It moves just a little too fast as it is, breaking the flow a little. Otherwise, well done.

Title article: Coffee Stains, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-06-14 16:46:01
Wow.
You've got a singular writing style, similar enough to Vonnegut to be noticable, but dissimilar enough to make the story your own. "Dylan clinched his solution" - that doesn't quite make sense, but it doesn't matter. 
 
It's told somewhat like the narration in the film Badlands, the odd perfection of the almost childlike simplicity. 
 
Sorry this comment makes little sense. It's a wonderful first chapter.

Title article: Dream #1
Date: 2008-06-02 14:34:40

Hmm. I have no recollection of writing this, but you're right - that last sentence is not needed at all. Thanks.

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