Songs From A Fender Bender

if you go to my profile and click on the website/blog...

Her Magic Touch, Chapter 2

Luckily the bus stop is near where she lives and is...
Brooke (SageSyren) Profile Page
Brooke (SageSyren)
Hits 1847
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 04/15/2008
Last Online 09/18/2008
Connections 2
Avg Profile Rating
 
Website/Blog: www.storywrite.com/SageSyren
About Myself: Also try http://thefourbreazeales.blogspot.com/ This is my family website.

I was gone, now I'm back. Decided I liked this place and missed it.

I'm a hearth and nature witch. I love to laugh and have fun.

All comment are welcome and any help you can give in puncation and dialogue tags would be greatly appreciated.

For the future....thanks

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Jul 11, 2008Closer Raisa, Chapter 3Mystery 96
Jul 10, 2008Closer Raisa, Chapter 2Mystery 129
Jul 9, 2008Closer Raisa; the beginning, Chapter 1Mystery 126

Comments

Title article: Something Spicy
Date: 2008-04-21 11:46:07

I couldn't stop laughing. You got more like this? :)

Title article: My hell
Date: 2008-04-21 11:39:35

Very descriptive. I loved it. My only suggestion would be to break up the long paragraph into smaller one. :)

Title article: Christmas of the Dead
Date: 2008-04-21 11:30:33

*shivers* I will never be able to remember christmas the same way again. :) Great job

Title article: Manifest Thirst
Date: 2008-04-21 11:20:09

Nicely written. I love the way you could keep my interest without trying. :)

Title article: Alternative Gaye Calling
Date: 2008-04-18 10:32:46
Fact or Fiction?
This feels like it's got a lot of fact mixed in there. I didn't read the prompt but totally understand what was going on. Good sign. I just wondered about smell...lots of places there to sneak it in. 
 
Thanks for a wonderful read. 
Syren

Title article: Waves
Date: 2008-04-17 12:45:18

This was very powerful. Makes a person stop and think. 
Syren

Title article: An Ode To Whiskey
Date: 2008-04-16 12:16:15

Oh I don't know, pirates and knights might come to a drunken mind if one had just seen or read about them. 
 
I like it this way, although I would have liked to read the other version also. 
 
I did feel like the flow was off in paragraphs two and four, but it sets a good scene. 
Syren

Title article: All Alone
Date: 2008-04-15 13:24:43
Moving
First and second line have misspelled words; herself and like. 
Missing 's' in Tear(s) line 3 
Line 9 like is misspelled 
Line 10 missing comma between silent(,) empty 
Line twelve misspelled special 
 
Those were just a few typos but it didn't distract from the poem. It was sad and very moving. I think a lot of ppl feel this way and yearn for someone to see them for who they are. 
 
Great job. 
Syren

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
04/30/2008 14:38:19Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic314770
04/25/2008 10:26:15Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic314770
04/25/2008 10:12:41Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic314770
04/24/2008 14:35:33Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic314770
04/24/2008 10:42:48Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic314770
04/24/2008 10:20:14Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic314770
04/23/2008 10:50:16Re:New Topic # 5...i thinkOff-Topic2337
04/18/2008 11:54:33Re:The Storiesville MapOff-Topic6198
04/16/2008 10:05:13Re:BlockheadOff-Topic912

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OFFLINE Philip Neale (philneale1952)
OFFLINE Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)
 

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