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Daniel (thickblueline) Profile Page

Hits	195
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	04/11/2008 21:42:06
Last Online	05/16/2008 23:14:56
Last Updated	05/16/2008 16:14:54
Forum Ranking
Total Posts	7
Connections	0
Avg Profile Rating

About Myself:

just a new writer looking for some feedback

Date	Title	Hits	Rating
Wednesday, 14 May 2008	Dodmen Chapter 2	22	/ 0
Wednesday, 14 May 2008	Dodmen, Chapter One	71	/ 2
Saturday, 10 May 2008	The Adventures of Phil, the Styrofoam Coffee Cup	74	/ 2
Saturday, 03 May 2008	Hostile Addictions CH. 2. part one	54	/ 0
Saturday, 03 May 2008	Hostile Addictions CH. 1	51	/ 0
Saturday, 12 April 2008	A Thick Blue Line	98	/ 3
Saturday, 12 April 2008	Between Honor and Duty	82	/ 1
Friday, 11 April 2008	True Last Words	114	/ 2

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Comments

Total number of comments: 8

Title article: Pedestrian
Date: 2008-04-25 21:25:17

...
nice story. I loved how you left the ending open and the way you built the suspense with the reaction of the cadillac driver. The one bit of advise I can offer is you may want to put an attention getter in the first few sentences. Something to really grab me and make me want to read the rest of the story.

Title article: Ouija
Date: 2008-04-23 01:38:33

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Good description of some things but others needed to be clarified a little bit.

Title article: Run Away
Date: 2008-04-22 21:30:31

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Very powerful story that conjures up strong feelings.

Title article: A Work of Fiction
Date: 2008-04-22 21:21:17

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The behaviors of the characters seemed very real and well put together. I would recomend that you give the characters names instead of "cousin" or "young boy." It adds a sense of familiarity to it.

Title article: A Stroll in the Park
Date: 2008-04-13 00:16:52

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Amusingly morbid. That is how I would describe it. I liked it.

Title article: The Gods of Virginity
Date: 2008-04-13 00:03:45

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Hilarious. 'Nuff said

Title article: The fuchsia dashiki
Date: 2008-04-12 22:53:58

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I enjoyed the story and I commend you on it. It had some good original thinking in it. I agree with the first comment that it was a bit confusing, especially at the beginning. I thought that perhaps she had been injured while attempting to catch the frisbee. Nice writing though.

Title article: True Last Words
Date: 2008-04-12 14:51:39

...
Thank you for your feedback. I have never submitted any of my writing before and wasn't sure if any of it was good enough. Seeing your comment really gave me a boost to my confidence and you can expect more submissions from me soon