Daniel (thickblueline) Profile Page
Daniel (thickblueline)
Hits 561
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Last Online 07/09/2008
Connections 2
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About Myself: just a new writer looking for some feedback

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Jun 3, 2008Traffic JammedMiscellaneous Stories 151
May 24, 2008I'm the TerroristMiscellaneous Stories 185
May 10, 2008The Adventures of Phil, the Styrofoam Coffee CupHumor 174
May 3, 2008Hostile Addictions CH. 2. part oneMiscellaneous Stories 117
May 3, 2008Hostile Addictions CH. 1Miscellaneous Stories 96
Apr 12, 2008A Thick Blue LineMiscellaneous Stories 148
Apr 12, 2008Between Honor and DutyAdventure 126
Apr 12, 2008True Last WordsMiscellaneous Stories 168

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
06/08/2008 23:05:14At last, the end is nearOff-Topic105
05/19/2008 21:49:54Re:Favorite AuthorOff-Topic2790

Connection

Daniel (thickblueline)'s connections

OFFLINE Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)
OFFLINE D.A. Ross (D.A. Ross)
 

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Comments

Total number of comments: 12

Title article: Traffic Jammed
Date: 2008-06-03 19:23:46
...
yea, this story is 100 percent true and was written while the events were occurring. I realized that it was kind of drawn out, but it wasn't like I had anything better to do ;-) Thanks for your comment

Title article: Dodmen Chapter Four
Date: 2008-05-21 16:03:49
thanks
Thanks for reading DODMEN. I agree with your last comment about the main character needing more inner conflict. I have completed up to CHapter 12, although they are the first drafts only. In the next chapter he finally has enough of Coop and the whole ley line business and tells him to go F*** himself, although with consequences. I'm glad you enjoyed it and any further feedback for my next chapters will be appreciated. 
 
Daniel

Title article: Hero
Date: 2008-05-19 14:41:35
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I liked it. Powerful stuff, especially when you realize that this kind of stuff actually does happen

Title article: Pedestrian
Date: 2008-04-25 21:25:17
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nice story. I loved how you left the ending open and the way you built the suspense with the reaction of the cadillac driver. The one bit of advise I can offer is you may want to put an attention getter in the first few sentences. Something to really grab me and make me want to read the rest of the story.

Title article: Ouija
Date: 2008-04-23 01:38:33
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Good description of some things but others needed to be clarified a little bit.

Title article: Run Away
Date: 2008-04-22 21:30:31
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Very powerful story that conjures up strong feelings.

Title article: A Work of Fiction
Date: 2008-04-22 21:21:17
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The behaviors of the characters seemed very real and well put together. I would recomend that you give the characters names instead of "cousin" or "young boy." It adds a sense of familiarity to it.

Title article: A Stroll in the Park
Date: 2008-04-13 00:16:52
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Amusingly morbid. That is how I would describe it. I liked it.

Title article: The Gods of Virginity
Date: 2008-04-13 00:03:45
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Hilarious. 'Nuff said

Title article: The fuchsia dashiki
Date: 2008-04-12 22:53:58
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I enjoyed the story and I commend you on it. It had some good original thinking in it. I agree with the first comment that it was a bit confusing, especially at the beginning. I thought that perhaps she had been injured while attempting to catch the frisbee. Nice writing though.

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