Tom Shandruk (Tom Shandruk) Profile Page
Tom Shandruk (Tom Shandruk)
Hits 2377
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Member Since 04/07/2007
Last Online 10/03/2008
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Website/Blog: www.myspace.com/jewinashoe
About Myself: Well, just go to my myspace and add me as a friend!

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Jul 22, 2008Flowers on the WallPoetry 182
Jun 14, 2008Escaping the WallsPoetry 122
May 3, 2008Life is GrandPoetry 124
Feb 23, 2008UmbrellaMiscellaneous Stories 259
Jan 31, 2008DripPoetry 209
Jan 25, 2008UnspokenPoetry 266
Apr 7, 2007DrunkMiscellaneous Stories 1662

Comments

Title article: Drunk
Date: 2008-04-16 14:58:49

CookingWine: 
 
This was an early version of this story. I had written an extended version that made it clear that the paradise environment was somewhere that he often went to for refuge, being introduced to it at a young age. The whole idea I was trying to get at was that the paradise represented his addiction to the alcohol. I agree that the transition from dream to reality was poor, but this story was written over a year ago. I don't think it wise to keep revising the story over and over as I realize past mistakes. When I write, I picture the scene in my head like a movie, then write out the scene to sufficient detail that would paint the scene for me, without thinking about it previously. Once again, the language usage would have made better sense in the newer revision, showing how he could live and interact burden-free. I really appreciated your comment, thank you. :)

Title article: Drunk
Date: 2008-04-14 15:06:09

thanks :) That was the beginning of a little experiment I've been working on for a while, that is, taking a random event like a car wreck and filling the reader in on what was actually going on through the character's experiences.

Title article: Drunk
Date: 2008-04-06 10:39:24

well hell, thanks! I'd love to hear what they had to say.

Title article: Not Intentionally
Date: 2008-02-04 12:01:11
niiiiice
Very well done. It was kinda hard to read at times due to your...unique usage of English, but very well overall. I actually felt for the guy at the end :(

Title article: F * ck Tuesday
Date: 2008-01-30 18:04:10
Ha!
I love it! Simply enough said, IMO. 
5/5

Title article: Enough said, enough done
Date: 2008-01-30 18:01:55
Holy s-it.
That's bloody amazing. There's nothing wrong with it, as far as I can see. I'm literally at a loss for words...fracking amazing my friend! 6/5 if I could give it! I love stories like this, and the twists made me want to jump out of my chair. But enough of me being a 6-year-old girl lol.

Title article: Burning Pots & Missing Plots
Date: 2008-01-30 17:48:16
*gasp*
When I read the first few lines, I thought this was going to be another crappy, choppy, ill-constructed mess of a story. Well I was damn wrong!  
 
It almost reads like a poem, with all the stops and all. Although you didn't actually state it, the reader can tell what's going on. The prophet or whatever really adds a hint of paranormality (pretty sure that's a word!) to the already mysterious event description. I would've loved this just the same, possibly more if it were in a poetic form, but that's just me. 
 
+Great, fast-paced plot. Nice mystery and such. I was actually breathing heavy at the end. 
-Read like a poem, in paragraph form, which made it somewhat hard (for me) to read. 
5/5

Title article: December 23
Date: 2008-01-30 17:40:48
Umm...
Well this story is..unique. For one, it could have used a lot of editing, including your "there", "their" and "they're." Secondly, it seems very generic and just plain overused. I liked the setting though, it somehow made me think of some snowy street in Russia, like in the Hitman 2 game. I think with a little more editing, some help from a grammar book (no offense, just learn the "their" "there" "they're" rules!) and some deeper sensory imagery, this could have been a great story.  
 
+Nice setting, description of events. 
-Some elementary grammar mistakes, and sort of generic suicide-type plot. 
3/5

Title article: A Failed Resistance
Date: 2008-01-27 12:09:41
Nice
Being a real hard-ass on the presentation of ideas and themes, I must say that this piece could have used a fair amount of editing and rewording. I know it's a pain, almost an insult, when someone tries to "correct" your work, but a good editor can work with the author to get the same ideas presented in the same manner without the stops and starts. The story was there, but I think it could have been presented smoother. 
 
But on the opposite side, I am also a good interpreter, and the ideas and raw emotions presented in the story are beautiful. However, I don't understand why he shot a fellow comrade. I'd assume in war the object is to survive, and fight for your fellow comrades, and not to shoot them dead because they were trying to renew their faith and hope. But anyway, the story was a raw insight (kinda) of a warrior who's cracked. 
 
If you'd like me to show you what I'm talking about with the 'stops and starts' and such, e-mail me or something and I'll be glad to help :) 
 
5/5 :)

Title article: Uncertainty
Date: 2008-01-27 11:55:38
Wow
This really hit home for me, knowing someone close who seems to feel this way. Anyway, I love how it goes from an ABCB pattern to the ABBB and AAAAB patterns. Someone might say it makes it almost sloppy, but I really think it makes it...uncertain.

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02/04/2008 19:54:43Re:what's your favorite book?Off-Topic14958
02/04/2008 19:45:13Re:Welcome WagonOff-Topic1631
02/03/2008 21:52:11Re:Welcome WagonOff-Topic1631
01/06/2008 04:33:53Re:back to schoolOff-Topic3590

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