From Stagnant Water

The rain had finally stopped. After two days of...

Awakening of Minds (Part One)

So there I was, looking once more at the device on the...
Seshat (UrzTrly) Profile Page
Seshat (UrzTrly)
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Member Since 03/08/2008
Last Online 06/23/2008
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About Myself: Dear Whom-ever-the-heck, Esq.

Ok, so let me start off by stating that I hate these 'All About Me!' thingummys.

I never know what to write...and I have a bad habit of rambling in them.

I love stories though. I'm more often than not reading something than doing anything else. I dunno how great I am at writing them; I hold my own I guess.

The things I post here are mostly me entertaining myself and are written solely for the purpose of getting the pictures in my head out.

I welcome criticism despite that, good or bad. I can't promise it will make me change anything if you comment; I'm lazy that way. But I do warn any that if I don't think I fully understand what is being critiqued, it's possible I'll message you for clarification.

Gory little details are my bread and butter.

So anyways, I look forward to reading some awesome stuff and possibly getting some different insight for my own stories.


<3,
UrzTrly






P.S. Also, naturally 'Seshat' is a handle; I'm neither Egyptian nor a goddess. But if you're bored enough & want to know more useless crap about me, including my real name, feel free to message me.

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
May 1, 2008Revenge of the Dirty LimericksPoetry 157
Mar 10, 2008Dirty LimericksPoetry 561
Mar 10, 2008The Life and Times of Ms. So-and-soNon-Fiction 200
Mar 9, 2008Somewhere RoadMiscellaneous Stories 227
Mar 9, 2008One Hundred Degrees CelsiusMiscellaneous Stories 199
Mar 9, 2008The Devil’s KitchenHumor 319
Mar 9, 2008Pandora PsycheMiscellaneous Stories 211
Mar 9, 2008Low-Cal DietMiscellaneous Stories 216
Mar 9, 2008The Man in the MoonMiscellaneous Stories 273

Comments

Title article: The Man in the Moon
Date: 2008-03-09 20:08:41
Thankee Kindly!
Glad you liked.

Title article: The Man in the Moon
Date: 2008-03-09 20:07:38
Wha chu talkin 'bout.....
Slow is a polite way of saying boring, but if that was the case it would not have compelled you to finish. (But I'm glad that it was intersting enough that you did) 
 
So my question is: In what way was it slow? 
 
I sometimes worry I run on too much and describe to excess. Use to much fufu language & end up sounding pompus.  
 
I was attempting it to sound like a folk tale or some other type of legend...so I didn't mind that you found me out ending-wise. I think its hard to try out the 'fairy-tale' genre w/out repeating some stuff. But maybe it was too much whimsy? 
 
Anyway, thanks for reading & commenting.

Title article: Red Demon (v. 2.0)
Date: 2008-03-09 19:37:54
Well....
I'll admit the first couple of paragraphs had me wondering what the balls was going on. Wondering what the catch was. 
 
I wasn't sure you might be alluding to something more than savagery & destitution as seen through the eyes of a child. But it was around this line: 
'He loved the taste of locusts, even though most of the broth was made of chicken, it added something, and they were crunchy.'  
that I decided to quit over-thinking & just enjoy. 
 
Also, I'm sure I should be embarrassed to say that the bit between the Doctor & students went a little bit over my head. I believe I understand the basic gist, but could it be possible to ask for a summing up of that dialougue? 
 
All in all I found it a very dark, interesting, & humorous journey. I didn't mind it was 'slow' in parts as you say; I think it unfolded very nicley. 
 
Good job!

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OFFLINE George Saracen (gsaracen)
 

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George Saracen (gsaracen)

 Created On: 03/11/2008 19:36:10
you dare to sign MY guest book?? Well I sign you right F'in BACK! pffft. impudent YOUNG person.
George Saracen (gsaracen)

 Created On: 03/09/2008 16:44:39
hi ya! Best regards.

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