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CS (cookingWine) Profile Page

Hits	1808
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	02/26/2008 21:13:58
Last Online	05/16/2008 20:25:25
Last Updated	05/12/2008 10:29:04
Forum Ranking
Total Posts	3
Connections	6
Avg Profile Rating

About Myself:

If you'd like a critique, let me know what the story is (no poetry), and I'll be happy to read it and let you know what I think.

Date	Title	Hits	Rating
Friday, 09 May 2008	True Luxuries. [continued]	66	/ 2
Thursday, 08 May 2008	True Luxuries. [continued]	63	/ 2
Tuesday, 06 May 2008	True Luxuries. [to be cont.]	97	/ 2
Sunday, 27 April 2008	Admittedly, I Have Been Busy.	119	/ 3
Sunday, 23 March 2008	This Title; Alfred, Has Something To Do With The Story	170	/ 2
Tuesday, 18 March 2008	11:11 And 11:12 Can Be Different	413	/ 8
Friday, 14 March 2008	Drops Of Rain.	173	/ 3
Sunday, 09 March 2008	The Sunlight That Didn't Come Through The Blinds.	181	/ 2
Saturday, 08 March 2008	How Dolan Quit His Job, Without Pronouncing His Name.	175	/ 5
Thursday, 06 March 2008	You Can't Unring A Bell.	184	/ 4
Tuesday, 04 March 2008	The Strangest Places.	183	/ 3
Tuesday, 04 March 2008	A Man Possessed.	158	/ 3
Sunday, 02 March 2008	There Are Many Ways (This Not Being One).	173	/ 3
Thursday, 28 February 2008	It's Free. You Can't Get A Refund.	217	/ 3
Wednesday, 27 February 2008	One Is Always Enough.	363	/ 8
Tuesday, 26 February 2008	I Guess?	194	/ 2
Tuesday, 26 February 2008	Roosters and Lions In Monotone.	183	/ 5

Forum

Last 10 Forum Posts

Date	Subject	Category	Hits
03/13/2008 23:12:52	Re:What do YOU do when planning stories?	Off-Topic	488
03/01/2008 01:58:42	Re:Appreciate it.	Off-Topic	316
02/29/2008 05:09:48	Appreciate it.	Off-Topic	316

Connection

CS (cookingWine)'s connections

Thomas Reynolds (ThomasP3)

Christopher Chadwyck (Chadwyck45)

Egoist (Egoist)

Patrick Lytle (PKLytle)

Taylor (hopeless)

Jutta Motrin (CELL)

Guestbook

Name	Entry
Jutta Motrin (CELL) Send Email	Created On: 05/13/2008 17:46:01 Hello, ugly.
Sorrow Is My Mask (resistanceisfreedom) Send Email	Created On: 04/30/2008 13:08:03 You can go fuck yourself. And then go pour another glass of that boring wine. Feedback from CS (cookingWine): Cheers!
Jutta Motrin (CELL) Send Email	Created On: 04/30/2008 06:32:44 Hahaha, shut up Cole-Man!! Or I'll have to serve you with my mean, electric dance moves!
Jutta Motrin (CELL) Send Email cookingWine's a party pooper	Created On: 03/26/2008 13:19:49 Edited By Yahaira Nunez (Pez) On: 03/27/2008 07:26:12 Oi, fine... previous comment withdrawn. Just found it funny how you say, or rather type, "... and all that jazz."
Jutta Motrin (CELL) Send Email	Created On: 03/24/2008 09:22:06 Edited By Yahaira Nunez (Pez) On: 03/24/2008 09:22:44 Well, if I were sitting on a park bench, waiting on a story, I'd be more like this: Yaaa...
Jutta Motrin (CELL) Send Email	Created On: 03/20/2008 07:19:39 ... yeah, I just thought the 'smiley' was cute.
Egoist (Egoist) Send Email	Created On: 03/14/2008 17:30:40 Such an awfully...honest guy. As I said before I'd look up to your advice any day. Your comments are one of the first I look for. And don't think it's just your comments, I enjoy your stories as well.
Jutta Motrin (CELL) Send Email	Created On: 03/04/2008 07:28:32 Edited By Yahaira Nunez (Pez) On: 03/05/2008 07:09:02 Must we also "rip [you] apart" on your Guestbook? If so: Suck it! ... But, there's no real basis in that... Oi, can't I just:

Comments

Total number of comments: 124

Title article: Do You Love Me Still?
Date: 2008-05-14 06:07:51

Eh. In comparison to your others, don't like it.

Title article: when i was born again
Date: 2008-05-12 12:03:53

I looked at this, and literally sighed. It's really hard to drudge through line after line that have no paragraph splits. It's like if a novel wasn't split into chapters.

Title article: Dude, You Got Your Ass Kicked by a Girl
Date: 2008-05-12 12:01:26

This is kind of like a Rob Scheinder movie.
I mean, I guess it's funny. It's more like, why did you type this out?
Tough concept, the guy gets his ass kicked by a girl. Snarf snarf har har. Try and master it a little more instead of just stitching lines of dialogue together sloppily.

Title article: Die Twice
Date: 2008-05-12 11:59:09

Hm. I don't know what to think about this. That is rare for me.
It's okay. There is nothing remarkable, and nothing remarkably wrong.
Keep on keeping on.
-CS

Title article: The Die is Cast- Part Four
Date: 2008-05-12 11:41:14

Lost me at the end.
Kings and Queens and Ajax and masters and sleeping beauties are a bit much for me. It also seems like the dialogue is from a James Bond movie.
I still like the active narrator.

Title article: An Activist Studying Chairman Mao's Works
Date: 2008-05-11 20:58:56

The Chinese concept of the state is so dramatically different from us Westerners, and it's so interesting. Mao really embodied that community concept of worship and idolatry of the state.
I didn't read the whole thing, but I skimmed bits and pieces.
For whatever reason you're doing it, I hope it's a good time.

Title article: Friday Night
Date: 2008-05-11 20:25:34

Getting high in a forest before playing volleyball.
I'm pretty sure I've never heard that one on a checklist. I like how it is almost optimistic in a weird way. Besides that, there was nothing that was remarkable (in literal terms).

Title article: The Die Is Cast- Part Three
Date: 2008-05-11 19:57:02

It feels like it's stretching for me. Tension shouldn't have to get breasts implants at the end of every chapter.
There shouldn't have to be gunshots to keep me reading, I should be curious for her plight, and simply, I'm not. The gunshots almost take away from that more so because it takes away the dynamics of a characters.
When you create gunshots or anything along those lines, you're drawing focus, and inevitably, choices, away from the character. Tension derives from the ability for your character to make wrong/right choices.
I like the active narrator. It makes me believe that there is a bias and that there might be an omnipotent liar.
Keep on keeping on.
CS.

Title article: The Die Is Cast- Part One
Date: 2008-05-11 19:50:38

All you can rape buffet.
That is the single most inappropriate thing I've ever heard.

Title article: Insane
Date: 2008-05-11 18:15:40

I read it again and I remembered how funny and fit the bit about masturbating was into this and how long it took me to figure it out even if it was right in front of me, I didn't expect it.
You are either really crazy and good at hiding it, or really crazy and not good at hiding it. Or you are good at creating characters that mimic you and you're crazy. Or you are good at creating characters that don't mimic you and you're just crazy. Or you're good at writing poetry that isn't pretentious or boring or egotistical but you are still crazy.
Whatever it is, I just read it five times consecutively and I was grinning the whole time. This is a gem on this site.

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