To all the Young Lovers

Dedication: This is for the secret inner couple every...

Winning The Frog Lottery

Her car, out of gas once again; slides to a stop in...
JJ Tyler (JJtyler) Profile Page
JJ Tyler (JJtyler)
Hits 2257
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 02/16/2008
Last Online 10/03/2008
Connections 4
Avg Profile Rating
 
Website/Blog: www.musingaboutnothing.blogspot.com
About Myself: "Someplace, in the grand scheme of things, this world must touch the other,"
-Cormac McCarthy.

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Aug 21, 2008Stay BackNon-Fiction 162
Aug 2, 2008As We Know ItScience Fiction 367

Comments

Title article: Fulcrums
Date: 2008-07-21 12:28:16

"My stomach drops a hands width within me and I feel my manhood shrivel to nothing through the force of my fear upon hearing this."--this is clunky and doesn't feel natural. Wouldn't actually hear someone else say this. It sounds like someone trying to write something too hard, and not a part of the story.  
 
That's one example. Again, I enjoyed this story, and it this seems like nik picking, then it probably is.  
 
Good luck again.

Title article: The Wolf
Date: 2008-07-20 22:30:16
Description of technology
I enjoyed the idea of a ship as goo. That was really new to me and very original, I believe.  
 
I'll have to read what this was a spin off from, but being a dream sequence, that's hard to imagine.

Title article: Bicycle
Date: 2008-07-20 22:22:53
Very natural
This story felt very natural and just well done.  
 
As to your comment above, it's tough being a parent, huh? We got a 7 month old and it's hard when you realize just how stress free your life was before: solely based on the fact that you didn't have anyone to worry about.  
 
If you brought all this introspection out of everyone, you did a dang good job.

Title article: Fulcrums
Date: 2008-07-20 22:17:44
Good job
I like that you created a world here, sketching it out and giving us a glimpse at this strange profession of conning people. Good Sci-Fi stuff.  
 
There were a few sentences that I had to read over again, and that may be due to over writing something, such as: logic took my eyes... But that may be my own preference, and could be great writing. 
 
Bottom line: I enjoyed it. Good luck and keep writing.

Title article: Eleanor, Chapter 2
Date: 2008-07-20 22:08:14
Enjoyed this chapter
I thought the flow was real nice, and it moved along quickly. I'll be looking forward to reading more when I get a chance.  
 
Good luck and keep writing.  
 
One thing: top couple of paragraphs: What do you say, instead of 'what do say'. Unless that is a different syntax that I don't know.

Title article: 1961
Date: 2008-07-20 16:05:00

Good dramatized non-fiction man. The exchange between the two characters was spot on.  
 
I remember psyh professor pulling out a movie on these, pretty interesting stuff.  
 
Keep writing.

Title article: Personal Evolution
Date: 2008-07-20 15:52:18

This was good. I don't realize I am reading someone's writing, but it just flows like a poem should. It stands alone.  
 
Keep writing and good luck.

Title article: Bloodsong: Nurturing Murder, Chapter 3
Date: 2008-07-20 15:45:52

You are not afraid to cut to new scenes. Cole is a character I have read about on many different chapters of your book, although not all in order. 
 
I did have a question: do you have an ending, or are you seeing where this takes you?

Title article: Under The Stars.
Date: 2008-07-20 15:36:48

I always try to post a good comment on yours because you demand it on your profile.  
 
This was a story that is singular. That's all I can say and all that needs to be said.  
 
There's nothing else like it here on Storieville. Good job.

Title article: Unavoidable Detours Created By The Elderly.
Date: 2008-07-14 22:33:41

You're like an scene photographer. You take a scene that is meaningful in it's own way and take a snap shot of it, and it turns out to be a good look into someone's life.  
 
There's a realism in your stories.  
 
Just the other day I had an old timer asking me why I used a debit card to buy my diet mountain dew at the Exxon. Just came out and asked it.  
 
Thanks for the story, keep writing.

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
07/24/2008 16:54:38Re:A Question Concerning Non-FictionOff-Topic946
07/24/2008 16:13:16Re:A Question Concerning Non-FictionOff-Topic946
07/09/2008 18:23:55Re:Let's clear the airOff-Topic1570
06/03/2008 18:47:14Re:What would your's be?Off-Topic1464
06/02/2008 21:29:54Re:What would your's be?Off-Topic1464
06/02/2008 21:08:25Re:What would your's be?Off-Topic1464
06/02/2008 15:47:12What would your's be?Off-Topic1464
05/28/2008 21:55:53Re:Hello, I have an important questionOff-Topic416
05/25/2008 08:17:32Re:Favorite AuthorOff-Topic4271
05/24/2008 19:34:18Re:Favorite AuthorOff-Topic4271

Connection

JJ Tyler (JJtyler)'s connections

OFFLINE Project 30 (Project 30)
OFFLINE r.e.potter (r.e.potter)
ONLINE Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)
OFFLINE Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)
 

Guestbook


Name Entry
Philip Neale (philneale1952)

Derbyshire, England
 Created On: 07/30/2008 23:55:51
I'm really enjoying 'The Boy and the Buffalo' - thought it was time I signed in.

Phil
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)

 Created On: 05/26/2008 18:53:11
I read your blog.
I hope you realize that the Lakers will eat the flesh of the Spurs.
Ginobli is your only real hope. Duncan isn't being as dominant as he should, and Ginobli (even though I respect the guy), pulled some lucky shots that drove momentum for them in Game 3.

Enjoy the last few games of your season, fan of the Spurs.

From LA,
-CS.
Feedback from JJ Tyler (JJtyler): Your prophecy was correct! Although the Lakers didn't fare to well in the next round.

We'll see what happens in an odd year.

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Title 
»  Frantic, Chapter 1


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