gone was the girl

gone was the girl once innocent of love,...

The Beast and the Wicked Witch

tale as old as time true as it can be She...

alfred (alfred) Profile Page
alfred (alfred)
Hits 1256
Online Status OFFLINE
Last Online 07/08/2008
Connections 2
Avg Profile Rating
 
About Myself: Children of this site... its past your bed time.

Stories



This user has no published stories.

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
07/08/2008 21:57:32Re:Does anyone write in long hand anymore?Off-Topic120
06/27/2008 18:12:40Re:MusicOff-Topic1325
06/01/2008 21:45:45Re:stupid offensive jokes anybody?Off-Topic1500
06/01/2008 21:29:41Re:stupid offensive jokes anybody?Off-Topic1500
03/24/2008 13:23:37not a bad guyOff-Topic161
03/18/2008 11:00:36Re:What's inside your noggin?Off-Topic27936
03/12/2008 05:35:22Re:What's inside your noggin?Off-Topic27936
03/11/2008 14:50:57Re:What's inside your noggin?Off-Topic27936
03/10/2008 17:43:47Re:What's inside your noggin?Off-Topic27936
02/11/2008 13:45:03Re:Tarhead Mugwumps ThreadOff-Topic23165

Connection

alfred (alfred)'s connections

OFFLINE Billy (Vango)
OFFLINE Sean (IggyJack)
 

Guestbook



This user currently doesn't have any posts.

Comments

Title article: On Word
Date: 2008-06-05 13:22:22

Is the title a mistake 'on word' I see where you have the correct spelling in the poem. Just curious, maybe you meant it like that.... good poem.

Title article: The Fall of Tone & The Beast of Vag
Date: 2008-06-04 17:01:59
pathetic
You guys are ridiculous, tell him the way it is. This story really ******* sucked. You are a good example as to what I am trying to say about this site. Not much time taken on stories round here. Zombie is a tweeb, leave the needless cussing out. Who uses @ for an actual word. What the heck is WTF doing in a story. Are you a moron, this is a storiesville not textville

Title article: "FLOWER"S"
Date: 2008-06-04 16:51:56

Not sure about this one, the jury is still out. Rather simple rhyming I will say. Not sure what you meant with the 2nd to last verse about his mother and him. Oh well,,rock on

Title article: Vanity(from the minds of Zombie Punk & Tarhead Mugwump)
Date: 2008-06-04 08:59:56
What happened
The first paragraph was very good how it opened up the story. But then it started sliding down that ol familiar road again, the road of lost opportunity.

Title article: Do You Love Me Still?
Date: 2008-05-27 14:42:57
listen
The way you just discribed yourself....gotta be honest with ya,,,,Im outta here...yikes.

Title article: I'm sorry
Date: 2008-05-27 14:39:45

dont know about your husband,,,but im crying.....its another man isn't it....I knew it.

Title article: {The Trees Survived}
Date: 2008-05-27 14:35:30
I hate doing this
This story is so poorly written I cant get past the first two sentences. Question, does your keyboard have caps lock? Do you know about dialouge set up? Listen, im not a bad guy, but I highly recommend you take a writing course. Theres potential in there, you just need to deliver it better.

Title article: His Favorite Chords.
Date: 2008-05-27 14:26:10
ok
To be fair, most of your stories to me make hardly any sense. I read the very first sentence and already I have a problem with it. 
 
A midday naps hits me like a train...are you jolted into a nap? and then you go off about some record...just seems off balanced... the opening paragraph. 
 
But I did say I would be fair, I agree with one of the commenters(is that a word)that your discriptions of things are very poetic in nature. I love simple stories about nothing, I say that respectivly. Like I said earlier,,I dont really understand your stories but I believe I do this one...and its not bad,,,just needs a little tweeking here and there.

Title article: The Attack
Date: 2008-05-24 08:37:20
ok
after looking at the pic...I wonder if it was his eyes that took her like a blade to the throat

Title article: You're a Goddess.
Date: 2008-05-24 08:32:18
quit writing about me
this poems sounds like its about me...oh wait,,that word is spelt who're ...not whore...by the way, is that a word who're?

Pictures

Picture/Images uploaded by the member



No Items published in this profile gallery
 

Remove Ads