gone was the girl

gone was the girl once innocent of love,...

Rooted Blue

I think I liked you better when you were...

alfred (alfred) Profile Page
alfred (alfred)
Hits 1228
Online Status OFFLINE
Last Online 06/28/2008
Connections 2
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About Myself: Children of this site... its past your bed time.

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Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
06/27/2008 18:12:40Re:MusicOff-Topic1209
06/01/2008 21:45:45Re:stupid offensive jokes anybody?Off-Topic1420
06/01/2008 21:29:41Re:stupid offensive jokes anybody?Off-Topic1420
03/24/2008 13:23:37not a bad guyOff-Topic150
03/18/2008 11:00:36Re:What's inside your noggin?Off-Topic27156
03/12/2008 05:35:22Re:What's inside your noggin?Off-Topic27156
03/11/2008 14:50:57Re:What's inside your noggin?Off-Topic27156
03/10/2008 17:43:47Re:What's inside your noggin?Off-Topic27156
02/11/2008 13:45:03Re:Tarhead Mugwumps ThreadOff-Topic22740

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alfred (alfred)'s connections

OFFLINE Billy (Vango)
OFFLINE Sean (IggyJack)
 

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Comments

Title article: Ranch Violation
Date: 2008-06-09 15:58:19

being the amature you must be at writing obviously, this was i guess ok. I can see the story amusing the young on here, but not anyone else. I won't comment on the grammar since that seems to be the norm on this site. Not bad for the age group you were aiming at.

Title article: That Which Scares Us
Date: 2008-06-05 13:43:56
good
This is kinda cool. Its seems to be a mature author behind its work. Haven't seen your profile, so that is simple a mere guess. If your a young person, you should be very proud of yourself. Even if your older,,that proud thing applies to you too.

Title article: What Am I?
Date: 2008-06-05 13:29:09

Ok, its obvious your screwing round with someone's husband. You are what you are, that is,, his go to girl, when its convienient. Not sure if this is personal or just a silly poem, but if its the first one out of the two options... you are what you are.

Title article: On Word
Date: 2008-06-05 13:22:22

Is the title a mistake 'on word' I see where you have the correct spelling in the poem. Just curious, maybe you meant it like that.... good poem.

Title article: The Fall of Tone & The Beast of Vag
Date: 2008-06-04 17:01:59
pathetic
You guys are ridiculous, tell him the way it is. This story really ******* sucked. You are a good example as to what I am trying to say about this site. Not much time taken on stories round here. Zombie is a tweeb, leave the needless cussing out. Who uses @ for an actual word. What the heck is WTF doing in a story. Are you a moron, this is a storiesville not textville

Title article: "FLOWER"S"
Date: 2008-06-04 16:51:56

Not sure about this one, the jury is still out. Rather simple rhyming I will say. Not sure what you meant with the 2nd to last verse about his mother and him. Oh well,,rock on

Title article: Vanity(from the minds of Zombie Punk & Tarhead Mugwump)
Date: 2008-06-04 08:59:56
What happened
The first paragraph was very good how it opened up the story. But then it started sliding down that ol familiar road again, the road of lost opportunity.

Title article: Do You Love Me Still?
Date: 2008-05-27 14:42:57
listen
The way you just discribed yourself....gotta be honest with ya,,,,Im outta here...yikes.

Title article: I'm sorry
Date: 2008-05-27 14:39:45

dont know about your husband,,,but im crying.....its another man isn't it....I knew it.

Title article: {The Trees Survived}
Date: 2008-05-27 14:35:30
I hate doing this
This story is so poorly written I cant get past the first two sentences. Question, does your keyboard have caps lock? Do you know about dialouge set up? Listen, im not a bad guy, but I highly recommend you take a writing course. Theres potential in there, you just need to deliver it better.

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