The Peacock Case

When the train doors opened, a blast of sticky air...

My Present

I wrote this poem and had RE Potter look it over. ...
bill neilson (billyboy) Profile Page
bill neilson (billyboy)
Hits 1134
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 01/04/2008
Last Online 09/01/2008
Connections 1
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Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Feb 3, 2008"HAPPY ANNIVERSARY LOVE"Miscellaneous Stories 262
Jan 7, 2008A boot, a pen and a five dollar noteMiscellaneous Stories 557
Mar 26, 2008CYCLONE CHARLIEMiscellaneous Stories 181
Jan 18, 2008Hammer and NailMystery 368
Jan 11, 2008THE BIGGER THE BETTERMiscellaneous Stories 259

Comments

Total number of comments: 36

Title article: shyness and love
Date: 2008-04-02 03:53:18

If that really is a true story, then I say remember you're still only 18. Heaps of time. 
Think positive, think beautiful and that's how you will be perceived. Good luck. 
Looking back, I see this was published on April Ist. 
Have you sucked us all in??

Title article: my baby
Date: 2008-03-31 01:32:54

A lovely vignette. To condense a mother's feelings for her child, from birth to adulthood in so few words is very clever. 
Well done Kasey.

Title article: Broken and bleeding re edited
Date: 2008-03-29 05:27:05

I agree with Dirk, except I would say forget the last TWO sentences. Good yarn otherwise. Simple spelling mistakes and missing words are distracting. 
Keep writing Billy.

Title article: Speed Bump
Date: 2008-03-28 00:32:46

Well written, thoughtful, entertaining. 
You have a real talent man. More please!

Title article: Chapter 5 Rocks
Date: 2008-03-24 00:23:07

o.k. That's it. I'm outa here!!

Title article: Streetlamp Romance
Date: 2008-03-23 05:46:59

Sounds like one confused guy. Had me confused too. 
Does he love her not? Does he want or not? 
Maybe I just don't dig romance stories.

Title article: Street Value
Date: 2008-03-22 05:26:40

Jesus!! guess what I'm going to be thinking about when I lay there trying to get to sleep.  
 
Good writing Carey. I liked it.

Title article: witchiness?
Date: 2008-03-22 01:33:54

I agree, needs a lot more care with spelling and grammar. Could have been an interesting little story. Keep at it. Had what I call a "Saturday, Sunday." finish. Weak end.

Title article: Day of Terror
Date: 2008-03-19 23:07:18

I too have been to Adelaide on holiday from the West, so I can relate. Good writing and well described. I agree that the ending was a little anti climatic, but i enjoyed it.  
More please.

Title article: Hastings Hospital
Date: 2008-03-19 03:40:36

Enjoyed your story, but I agree, nurse Seally can stay in Hastings

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