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Hoping The Sun Doesn't Rise ...

I wrote this poem and had RE Potter look it over. ...

Mugen (Dirkin) Profile Page

Hits	10135
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	12/20/2007
Last Online	08/27/2008
Connections	27
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Website/Blog:

stoneread.blogspot.com/

About Myself:

I have a lifelong love of reading and a secret desire to be an author, that my chronic bouts of procrastination have always managed to stall. I read The Lord of The Rings when I was nine, and from that most excellent starting point have always felt my favourite genre to be fantasy, although I consider the definition of fantasy to be as broad as the mind can wander. I would like to recommend the following authors: Brian Lumley, Katherine Kerr, Raymond E Feist, Robert Jordan, Jean M Auel, Anne Rice, Frank Herbert, Isaac Asimov and of course good ol' Tolkein. Wikipedia them or something, they're all excellent storytellers!

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
May 3, 2008	New Topic # 5	Humor	228
Feb 7, 2008	So there I was 5...	Humor	929
Jan 27, 2008	Deja vu	Humor	642
Jan 6, 2008	The Adventures of Literal Man!	Humor	753
Dec 20, 2007	So there I was 1...	Humor	641
Dec 20, 2007	So there I was 4...	Adventure	505
Mar 11, 2008	End of Minds (part five)	Science Fiction	357
Feb 5, 2008	House of Minds (part four)	Science Fiction	484
Jan 21, 2008	Battle of Minds (part three)	Science Fiction	482
Jan 14, 2008	Alliance of Minds (part two)	Science Fiction	522
Jan 1, 2008	Lessons	Science Fiction	885
Dec 20, 2007	Awakening of Minds (part one)	Science Fiction	779
Dec 20, 2007	So there I was 2...	Horror	560
Jun 28, 2008	Jigsaw Poem	Miscellaneous Stories	172
May 18, 2008	Money: A life's worth	Miscellaneous Stories	390
Aug 25, 2008	Ode to Chaabuk	Poetry	141
Aug 24, 2008	Omniboredom	Poetry	63
Aug 17, 2008	Some Haiku's	Poetry	103
Jul 9, 2008	Death (thought I'd have a go)	Poetry	128
Jul 8, 2008	Wiggedy Wack	Poetry	254

<< Start < Prev [1] 2 Next > End >>

Comments

Total number of comments: 947

Title article: Ode to Simplicity
Date: 2008-08-27 22:24:10

This is a very rich poem. I found myself mesmerised when reading it. I see some questions here that can relate to us all. sometimes overthinking a problem is the problem and the solution is to leave it alone

Title article: Pretty Fly for a Russian Guy
Date: 2008-08-27 22:08:36

wtf!!!! that was fucking bizarre, but very entertaining. Twisted tales are your thing max, you do them well

Title article: Hoping The Sun Doesn't Rise
Date: 2008-08-27 22:03:19

You are good at your chosen style and you should stick with it, but I wouldn't discourage people who dont like it from commenting, because someones opinion is like a cigarette being offered, you dont have to accept it, nor get mad at the offer. Be proud of your work not defensive! I liked this poem for showing exactly how devestated one person can make another. I hope you or your poems get over the one who inspired this one day ;)

Title article: The Possessor of All, Chapter 4
Date: 2008-08-27 21:53:45

Wow, that was an intense ending. I see a lot of parralels about pandoras box and other themes of temtptation and desire. I wonder if there was ever any hope of sapien resisting the vocal spells temptation? it seemed like he was under a spell himself rather than being tempted like a human. Could he have avoided reading the spell? the way this was written seems to suggest no. In which case its a bizarre story, with the source magic purposely setting up the end of the world. I found the ending impressive, I liked the idea of the entire life force of the universe being returned to the creator.

Title article: The Possessor of All, Chapter 3
Date: 2008-08-27 21:37:46

I am enjoying this tale so far. I would like to see some conflict, there has been mention of dark forces and enemies, yet theyve played little part so far. I find the temptation of the vocal spell to be interesting, I hope its explored. I wonder why the source of all magic would be concerned with creating wealth for people? I realise that the wizard will use it for the needy, but it strikes me as such an entirely human motivation, as though 'magic' is just a human spirit after all.

Title article: End of Minds (part five)
Date: 2008-08-27 18:37:47

Thank you for all your thoughts and comments Mr Dasgupta, much appreciated

Title article: elysian fields
Date: 2008-08-26 20:26:56

I like the way you have had the narrator stop and truly pay attention to what is happening around him. All around us thousands of tiny little events are occuring that we filter out of our awareness, if we stop and tune into the small parts that make up the whole, then the beauty is overwhelming.

I found the arrangement of some of your sentences didnt flow right "mist careening through
sky" "so quite well", this detracts from the flow. I also wonder at when and where you choose to have a new line start, often mid sentence. Perhaps simple stanza breaks may organize things. Overall very different, but detailed and vivid

Title article: me and ego on the porch
Date: 2008-08-26 20:19:21

Interesting. I was reminded of some sort of creation fairy tale, like the dreamtime of the Aboriginal people.

Title article: Just Let Me Eat You
Date: 2008-08-26 20:10:07

I enjoyed this, though I admit I dont understand the ending. Where they looking at him because they were waiting for an invite all along? thats how i interpreted this.

Title article: Antz
Date: 2008-08-25 23:20:21

Funny and odd. I remember seeing a donald duck cartoon once where he waged war against the ants that were raiding his picnic, reminds me of that

<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 5 6 ... 95 Next > End >>

Forum

Last 10 Forum Posts

Date	Subject	Category	Hits
08/25/2008 23:04:03	Re:How Do You?	Off-Topic	334
08/25/2008 09:42:14	Re:Ahahaha	Off-Topic	9133
08/24/2008 21:00:20	Re:pinky and the brain	Off-Topic	284
08/24/2008 20:57:49	Re:Ahahaha	Off-Topic	9133
08/22/2008 00:08:53	Re:THATS IT!! I CALL Shenanigans	Off-Topic	1957
08/22/2008 00:07:17	Re:pinky and the brain	Off-Topic	284
07/13/2008 07:50:29	Re:Ahahaha	Off-Topic	9133
07/09/2008 19:41:07	Re:Let's clear the air	Off-Topic	1162
07/09/2008 19:01:04	Re:Let's clear the air	Off-Topic	1162
07/08/2008 20:23:41	Re:Ahahaha	Off-Topic	9133

Connection

Mugen (Dirkin)'s connections

Project 30 (Project 30)

Jason Haugh (Something Indecent)

fabian villegas (fevilleg)

jesse (jesse2008)

Anna DeVine (Sad Sara)

CARMEN WRIGHT (20CARMEN_NiCOLE11)

Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

Alamo St-Jean (The_Gimp)

JS Brown (Crazy Scott)

Patrick O. (Roadkill315)

<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 Next > End >>

Guestbook

Name	Entry
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 15:14:41 Yeah, it's gonna have a lot more of a fantasy plot. I'm about to start the prologue in a little bit, and work out the plot some more.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/10/2008 19:08:36 Hehe enjoy! I think it turned out great. There is a sequel in the talks. You think you'd be interested in doing another chapter?
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/09/2008 19:16:19 Hey, man, what's going on? You havent posted any stories (other then Project 30) in a really long time. I miss your writing.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 07/26/2008 05:31:34 Lets see, you got me addicted to Cracked as if it was really Crack...now you're tellin me about a free game online...damn you.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 07/14/2008 16:34:05 Dude, this has been bugging me forever. What game is your picture from?
C.D.Walker (indianaman130)	Created On: 07/09/2008 16:24:48 The only authors i haven't read from your list are Kerr and Auel. Shame about Jordan, started reading the Wheel in 98.
jesse (jesse2008) Blog	Created On: 07/05/2008 19:02:38 Very nice work Dirkin. You should update that blog, I'll would be glad to link up. But, that's beside the point. You keep on writing, you're doing a hell of a job.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) a wasteland	Created On: 07/02/2008 22:33:51 A zombie says hurry the hell up with new literal man story
Lori Branson (lorislittlesecret) right now...not sure...	Created On: 05/04/2008 08:54:51 Nope..not me, you!
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)	Created On: 05/02/2008 07:08:16 Edited By Jutta Motrin (CELL) On: 05/25/2008 19:59:19 Okay, here's a better one: Why don't Monsters eat Clowns? Because they taste funny. Heh... Feedback from Mugen (Dirkin): Hmm i don't know any mexican jokes... (aussie), try this: why did the boy fall off the swingset? he had no arms.