Pretty Fly for a Russian Guy

Hans Goober jogged the four and a half miles to the...

Darkening, Chapter 1

Darkening, Chapter 1 Author: Jessie Masoner...
Jessica S,A. (Forsaken) Profile Page
Jessica S,A. (Forsaken)
Hits 1697
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 12/20/2007
Last Online 08/30/2008
Connections 7
Avg Profile Rating
 
Website/Blog: -
About Myself: I love writing, I love reading aswell. My favourite books are Pride & Predudice, Cathy's boook, Cathy's Key, and the twilight series. I live in England. I'm 16 years old. I love Slipknot. I like dogs more than cats.

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Aug 26, 2008Paranoid/ForgetMiscellaneous Stories 88
Aug 23, 2008The coastPoetry 127
Aug 20, 2008in your eyes *short*Poetry 98
Aug 17, 2008Heaven Sent, chapter 4/4Romance 84
Aug 16, 2008Goodbye, my loverPoetry 136
Jul 26, 2008I am alone - the storyHorror 264
Jul 25, 2008I am alone - the poem, read this before the storyPoetry 303
Jul 23, 2008Heavan Sent, chapter 3/4Horror 81
Jul 22, 2008Heavan Sent, chapter 2/4Romance 116
Jul 17, 2008Until we meet again...Poetry 245
Jul 9, 2008A cruel passionHorror 186
Jul 8, 2008In the heart, Chapter 2Horror 81
Jul 1, 2008Question of LovePoetry 144
Jun 30, 2008DeceptionMiscellaneous Stories 111
Jun 21, 2008Blood Price, Chapter 2Horror 130
Jun 14, 2008Blood Price, Chapter 1Horror 276
Jun 9, 2008In the heart - chapter 1, Chapter 1Romance 181
Jun 8, 2008At The End there is NothingMiscellaneous Stories 195
Jun 8, 2008In The Heart - Preface, Chapter 0Romance 113
Jun 6, 2008Ice, Chapter 2Adventure 87
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 Next > End >>

Comments

Title article: Bodies of Evidence - Chapter 1
Date: 2008-07-26 04:24:07
Good!
i found this very easy to read, and that is what makes it so good; it could have been boring, but it wasn't. the final line really made the series more intreaging, 'If anyone witnissed anything it was likely to be them' this simple line is a good ending to this chapter.

Title article: Eleanor, Chapter 5
Date: 2008-07-26 04:18:31
Intense
I liked the intensity of the story, I liked how you built tension with description about how the charactor were thinking. The way you wrote this helped me to create the situation in my head as I read it. This was well written.  
Nice. 
 
Jess

Title article: HIS DARK MAJESTY
Date: 2008-07-24 11:46:32
...
I liked the story you were telling, liked the description, and the tensity. I would have to agree that the capital letters made it harder to read. Did you use capitals for effect because I can see why this would make a change to how it was meant to be read.  
I think it was good but you need to flesh it out alittle more, maybe something could happen?

Title article: Insomniac's Nightmare-Ariel's Surrender, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-07-24 01:43:43
nice
This story is really tense. I found myself really wanting to know what happens until the end. You portrayed the controlling aspect of Ellie, and the power she has over Ariel through her own body. Her inner self is truly evil; Ellie seems to twist reality. 
Nice job, I liked it. 
 
Jess

Title article: Riders on the Storm
Date: 2008-07-23 13:17:59
nice...
Good poem. the rythem kept me reading. You can almost imagine a drum beat in your head as you read it. The only thing you could on with this poem is to vary the sentences a bit more. Other than that, it's a good poem. Keep writing like this.

Title article: Suicide Chronicle
Date: 2008-07-22 09:23:35
BitterSweet
This is good. you feel indifference towards george, but also feel as though he has done something good, by saving two lives. I liked this because the way you write it made it appealing to read. 
good job! 
 
Jess

Title article: Flowers on the Wall
Date: 2008-07-22 09:13:32
nice
I liked how you kept the same subject going throughout the poem, and I liked how you repeated the words 'Flowers on the wall'. It is good how you used personification to describe how the flowers shrink and move. I like how you kept the verses roughly the same in length, also. its different how you describe the flowers as evil. 
nice work! 
 
Jess

Title article: Red With Blame
Date: 2008-07-22 04:27:48
...
I liked it but it had me a little confused. Maybe you could read over it and add that little something that it needs. I liked it because it was easy to read and I could read it quite esily. I think the poem had the right tone but the words felt a little displaced, but that might just be me. It is a good poem though.

Title article: Bloodsong: Nurturing Murder, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-07-19 05:50:04
creepy
Nice short story, it's fast paced which is good. It's how a vampire story should be. It was good how you described the kill, 'He growled and he bit down into her neck. Like a dog, he ripped into her tendons, taking much ecstasy in his meal'  
What you've creted can sometimes be hard.  
*I think the last part kind of ruined it for me; why did she have to get pregnant? 
I think this could be very good, just needs alittle bit more to the story. Maybe you could build upon the vampire?

Title article: I'm Only Locked In Place
Date: 2008-07-18 06:52:32
Nice!
I really liked this poem. This is very dark and well written. It's a sad poem in that it is from the point of view of someone who is suffering and defeated. I read this and thought Wow because it's such powerful stuff! Nice job!

Forum

This user has no forum posts.

Connection

Jessica S,A. (Forsaken)'s connections

OFFLINE chaabuk (chaabuk)
OFFLINE Amie Kerlin (lemon)
OFFLINE jesse (jesse2008)
ONLINE Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)
OFFLINE Philip Neale (philneale1952)
OFFLINE Sorrow Is My Mask (resistanceisfreedom)
OFFLINE Billy (Vango)
 

Guestbook


Name Entry
jesse (jesse2008)

I'M THE FIRST
 Created On: 07/06/2008 13:23:39
Hey Jessica, I just wanted to stop by and be the first to sign your Profile Book.

Pictures

Picture/Images uploaded by the member

Only Registered Members Allowed to view the 5 items in this Gallery!

Remove Ads