Broken Glass

The first thing Pamela noticed when she opened her...

Sorry

Michael O'Reilley was going to apologise to his...
J.J (soulwriter) Profile Page
J.J (soulwriter)
Hits 1546
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 04/24/2008
Last Online 12/30/2008
Connections 1
Avg Profile Rating
 

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Apr 24, 2008All Night BarHorror 400
Jun 30, 2008Building Steam with a Grain of GodPoetry 299
Aug 4, 2008Catching madness without losin' ItPoetry 178
Jun 1, 2008Dream #1Miscellaneous Stories 181
Jul 2, 2008Everything You Can ThinkPoetry 171
Jun 5, 2008Feeling nostalgic for when tomorrow was your future?Miscellaneous Stories 198
Jul 13, 2008Her Most Loyal ManPoetry 194
Jul 14, 2008Imagination Encircles The WorldPoetry 230
Jun 28, 2008In a Sentimental MoodPoetry 143
Jun 24, 2008It's the MoneyPoetry 157
Nov 12, 2008Scene of the Setting SunPoetry 89
Jun 28, 2008Self-Portrait in Three ColorsPoetry 135
Jun 24, 2008She and she alonePoetry 144
Nov 10, 2008Show Me My Way Out, Kind SirsPoetry 76
Jun 17, 2008Something about confusionPoetry 148
Jul 6, 2008That One Perfect ChordPoetry 189
Jun 13, 2008The Average Man (a poem)Poetry 171
Jun 13, 2008The Passenger (a poem)Poetry 133
Nov 20, 2008The Shame of YouPoetry 81
Jun 14, 2008Though it was only dreaming, it stayed with me (poem)Poetry 109
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 Next > End >>

Comments

Total number of comments: 36

Title article: Show Me My Way Out, Kind Sirs
Date: 2008-11-10 16:09:17

Here, there, and everywhere.

Title article: Why
Date: 2008-07-15 06:39:52

These lines make no sense to me, I'm afraid -  
 
Shuttle cock and loom (loom isn't a noun, and why are you bringing badminton into it?) 
 
Consume the drum is beating boldly (the drum is called Comsume?) 
 
I'm guessing this poem is about the doom that greed and evil will bring, resulting in war, yeah? And this "simple soul" is the way to be? Why speak about pigs in a sty? Are they supposed to represent the "moneyed faces" as the "simple soul" sees them? 
 
It's okay, but again, those lines are somewhat fluffed.

Title article: Imagination Encircles The World
Date: 2008-07-14 18:03:17

Believe me, I need periods...like a woman needs wet dreams. Ahahaha...I made a pun.

Title article: Her Most Loyal Man
Date: 2008-07-14 15:38:21

"his love" - it means as in she is his love - he's referring to her as "his love". He thinks he is in love with her, and calls her his love, as in "his one true love".

Title article: Unavoidable Detours Created By The Elderly.
Date: 2008-07-13 19:19:35

Yeah, just a moment in someone's life, these two young people surrounded by the old. I really liked how the old guys kept harassing him, like he'd entered their territory.  
 
You're a really good writer, you don't need gimmicks like shock endings or any obviously exciting plot device to make your story gripping (but in a relaxed way...if that makes sense)

Title article: Her Most Loyal Man
Date: 2008-07-13 19:07:37

Damn, can't seem to fix it. 
 
By the by, I should say that the guy in the poem isn't me.

Title article: To Whom It May Concern
Date: 2008-07-13 16:28:35

Wow. Good insight into the sort of nature and personality that leads to that kind of stuff. 
 
Maybe you should make it longer and add in speific incidents that made the guy so disillusioned.

Title article: Secret Wars
Date: 2008-07-06 09:47:33

Quite a likeable poem, flows well. There are a few mistakes - using "your" instead of "you're" and not capitalizing "I". Also, there are a few lines that don't really work - the aforementioned "that constantly screams,patient" - are you saying the crowd is calling him a mental patient, i.e. insane? 
"it has boggled your memory" - you're thinking of "mind-boggling" and trying to use it to say "ruined your memory", that doesn't quite fit.

Title article: Testing My Pencil
Date: 2008-07-06 09:40:29

That's a pretty original piece of writing, probably the first time I've seen someone ask his pencil's opinion (at least, without there being some ingestion of LSD or something similar beforehand). Well done.

Title article: Just another point of view
Date: 2008-07-03 03:42:30

Wow. The sins of the father is a pretty unique topic for a poem, and you've done it well, except maybe the inclusion of the phrase "Daft bastard" doesn't quite suit the tone of the poem, being slightly more informal than the rest.

<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 Next > End >>

Forum

This user has no forum posts.

Connection

J.J (soulwriter)'s connections

OFFLINE Anna DeVine (Sad Sara)
 

Guestbook



This user currently doesn't have any posts.

Pictures

Picture/Images uploaded by the member



No Items published in this profile gallery
 

Remove Ads