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"Dennis I want you to go to your brother's house...

Leaving

Leaving Fall has always been my...
Philip Neale (philneale1952) Profile Page
Philip Neale (philneale1952)
Hits 9149
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 04/30/2008
Last Online 01/08/2009
Connections 74
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Website/Blog: www.philipneale.blogspot.com
About Myself: Accountant, 55, aspiring writer. Married 2 children, 2 cats (not married to the cats but they think they rule the roost). See gallery for more pictures - George was starting to demand appearance money so I relegated him to the background.......teach him to be sassy!

Ok, so we're pals again.........Hey George, see the nice reader? Kill !!!!!!

Started writing in July 2007 and found that I couldn't stop. Manuscripts now comprise 3 finished novels (60,000; 85,000; 65,000 words respectively) one in progress (currently 20,000), 2 compilations of short stories (total 100,000 words), and some messing around with poetry, although I must confess that it's not my favourite.

That started as limericks on birthday and anniversary cards and now I can't get off the hook.

If anyone knows of a cure............I may be interested (although not JUST yet).

First manuscript is now a finished and published novel "A Ticket to Tewkesbury" (see stories list for a preview and list of acknowledgements).

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Jan 6, 2009At Your CommandHumor 92
Jan 2, 2009A Shot Too FarAdventure 104
Jan 1, 2009And Did These FeetHumor 92
Dec 28, 2008A Shot in the DarkAdventure 229
Dec 25, 2008Two Little Dicky Birds, Chapter 4Mystery 87
Dec 23, 2008Two Little Dicky Birds, Chapter 3Mystery 94
Dec 22, 2008FallingRomance 258
Dec 20, 2008Two Little Dicky Birds, Chapter 2Mystery 123
Nov 29, 2008A Deal of TroubleHorror 124
Nov 18, 2008AnniversaryPoetry 105
Nov 4, 2008Wishful Thinking - The Final Chapter, Chapter 7Horror 122
Nov 2, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 6Horror 148
Nov 2, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 5Horror 154
Oct 30, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 4Horror 165
Oct 29, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 3Horror 188
Oct 24, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 2Horror 207
Oct 20, 2008Ouch!Humor 322
Oct 9, 2008What Kind of Tool Am I?Humor 259
Oct 2, 2008Lasting LoveMiscellaneous Stories 246
Sep 29, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 1Horror 604
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 5 Next > End >>

Books

TitleDate
Full MarksNov 14, 2008

Comments

Title article: Same 'ole Same 'ole
Date: 2009-01-05 04:14:38
Full
Full of the cinicism of our age as we approach the prophetic second coming and Armageddon era. 
 
Doom laden it might be, but who can blame you? 
 
Flowed, rhymed, meant something. 
 
Phil

Title article: Virtual Doctrine, Chap. 1
Date: 2009-01-04 11:52:42
Confusing
There was a lot in this story that I can relate to. My own relationship with MY parents when I went away to collefe in '71 snd became "me" as oppsoed to the person they had brought up. 
 
Secondly, my own children are now 26 & 17, with minds of their own and opinions which do not come from my wife and I. 
 
Life is a muddle sometimes, and your first paragraph brought that home good and strong. 
 
However..........there's always a 'however' isn't there? Your paragrpahs are way too long and make an interesting story hard to read. 
 
Othere than that, it's a good piece. 
 
Phil

Title article: Early morning rain
Date: 2009-01-04 11:39:59
Descriptive
Some very good descriptive work on the scenery intermingled with the plot. 
 
You juxtaposed the surroundings with the feelings you go through with her and set them up agianst each other well. 
 
However, it was slightly spoiled (hence the three pips, not four) by the mashing together of some of the words - there are too many to list here, and a quick read down the text using "edit" will let you clean them up. 
 
Pleasant read though. 
 
Phil

Title article: KNOCK ...KNOCK
Date: 2009-01-04 11:15:59
Language
I'm guessing that English is not your first language, and on that basis this wasn't a bad effort. 
 
You need to brush up on grammar though. It is customary in English to put "!" and "?" at the end of a sentence or phrase. 
 
The formatting of your paragraphs also needs a little work with regard to punctuation. 
 
However, if you clean the grammar up, this would not be a bad effort despite the simplicity of the story. 
 
First efforts are alwats difficult, especially in strange surroundings like a new website. 
 
You could also consider putting more information on your profile so that existing readers know where you come from. 
 
Phil

Title article: Of what is
Date: 2009-01-04 07:14:09
Dickens
Wondered at first what the Dickens this was, but when the rhyming hit me, the clouds began to dissipate. 
 
This could have been "A Christmas Carol" set to a musical score and put out on Broadway. 
 
I was almost rapping some of the text. Unusual way of writing ANY story, and I bet it took you ages to format it into this piece. 
 
Phil

Title article: Riot in the moonlight
Date: 2009-01-04 07:04:22
Imitation
Imitation is said to be the sincerest form of flattery, so the fact that this may bear resemblance to Twilight is not something I would worry too much about. i've never even heard of it so I approach this from a different perpective. 
 
I too applaud you attempt at a "foreign" language - I woyuld never have the courage to try it. 
 
The story flowed quite well; there were a few erros of grammar, but you'll find those amongst almost ALL of the writin on sites like this. 
 
My advice? Keep plugging away and trust that folks will be fair in their reviews. They will. 
 
Phil

Title article: Secret Admirer
Date: 2009-01-04 06:53:42
Stalker
As stalker stories go this was pretty good, and letting the cat out of the bag right at the end certainly kept me on my toes. 
 
For one awful moment, I thought the principal was the culprit and she would catch him typing out the next note. 
 
Great peice of "Gotcha" 
 
Phil

Title article: The Evaporating Man
Date: 2009-01-04 06:45:48
Nostalgia
I've been here with my own father after mum died in 2000. He spent 5 years locked away in the house which had been home since 1950 and slid slowly downhill. 
 
The resistence was the same, the memories came pouring forth and they were a pleasure to hear....at first. 
 
The picture you painted screamed out with accuracy in colours freshly applied. 
 
Are they all the same then? 
 
Phil

Title article: All That Matters
Date: 2009-01-04 06:33:36
Sure?
Yes, but how sure can we be that you haven't changed him in some way? 
 
This can either be a stand alone story, or the beginning of something a little sinister, or maybe that's just lil 'ol me looking on the nasty side. 
 
Seriously though, this was a fascinating insight into older attitudes to new technology, and harked back to "Bones'" attitude to the transporter beans on 'Star Trek'. 
 
Liked the constant interruptions of conversation from both of them, that was neat. 
 
Phil

Title article: Serpentine, Chapter 23
Date: 2009-01-04 06:13:43
Wel.........
You might just as well have hit me with that rock. 
 
Not sure who the good guys are any more, and the plot is turning more times than a British motorway. 
 
It's good not to let your audience get complacent, and this chapter set the whole darned thing mixing again. 
 
Ome small bit of puzzlement. is there a reason for mixuing up the names of Chris/Katey? It's the only thing that's really confusing me at present. 
 
Apart from that, Yee Haa cowboy - let's go! 
 
Phil

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
01/06/2009 11:13:50Re:assholes of the site...we know who you are.Off-Topic332
01/02/2009 02:54:51Re:RantOff-Topic411
12/31/2008 14:41:51Re:The RookieOff-Topic231
12/31/2008 04:45:18The RookieOff-Topic231
12/17/2008 06:44:59Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic372343
12/17/2008 06:43:31Re:Happy Birthday!Off-Topic498
12/17/2008 00:08:06Re:Happy Birthday!Off-Topic498
12/16/2008 05:28:54Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic372343
11/22/2008 03:27:19Re:Help with my school project??Off-Topic1817
11/02/2008 11:11:31Re:Deletions?Off-Topic723

Connection

Philip Neale (philneale1952)'s connections

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Guestbook


Name Entry
Verthandi W. (Verthandi)

 Created On: 01/07/2009 15:46:39
Hi there! n_n

I wanted to stop by and thank you (a lot!) for your comment!

Well, English isn’t my first language at all. I live in Venezuela so it’s Spanish all the way! (Though I hate it!).

I hope I haven’t made a lot of mistakes while writing, but I know there are still a lot of them ’cause as I read again every chapter I always find something I must fix. It’s quite nerve-wracking! Yet, it would mean the world to me if you could point those little things out, just so I can learn a bit more! n.n

I really hope you like the story. “Immortal Sonata” is not my kind of writing (actually it was originally a script for a movie I was planning!), but I must admit I started it and now I can’t stop! n_ñu

Anyway! Thanks a lot for reading my silly little story! n_n

Verthandi W.

PS: I shall be looking at your stories very soon! I see a lot of “Horror”! My kind of thing! Haha! n_=
Vincent Revaro (Surrealist)

Earth (For now...)
 Created On: 11/26/2008 00:09:56
Hey, I'm somewhat new to the site, but in the short time I've been here I have found an amazing community. I was thrilled to read about your success in being able to publish a novel. Your success makes me question whether or not I'm getting into this writing thing too early! Maybe I should reconsider my choice of career. If we have our whole lives to be successful, why worry about starting now?

I hope you continue to compose and share the craft you have learned.

-Vincent
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): Hey Vince

Shouldn't wory about the timing. You do it when you feel the need. I l;eft it until fairly late (56 now) but it's like a drug when you get going.

This is a great site, and I've let my attendance slip whilst working on the book but that's something that will change pretty soon.

There are some great writers on here, but everyone suffers the same fate - breaking into the agent/publisher club is not easy and over half of my submissions have been politely rejected - the other half didn't even bother to reply!

Finding my publisher was just a stroke of luck, and they've been VERY good. It really is a lottery.

The book is my second, but it's the first oen that's been done the correct commercial way. The other was on Lulu and is self-published so it's not widely known unless you realise exactly where it is.

Thanks for the sign-in.

Phil
Amie Kerlin (lemon)

 Created On: 10/12/2008 16:53:04
Aparently I missed your birthday, so happy belated birthday.

I just thought I would drop in and say hi since I hadn't talked to you in FOREVER. I have so much reading to catch up on.
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): Hey Lemon, not gone "sour" on me then?

Belated thanks

Phil
amanda (ams)

 Created On: 10/01/2008 13:34:29
happy birthday!!!
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): Belated thanks

Phil
Michelle Huff (allmine)

Not sure.....
 Created On: 10/01/2008 09:17:48
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): Golly, how did you know? It's really amazing that you knew..........so kind of you to remember an old man (!)

Phil
Lisa (antheerr)

England
 Created On: 08/21/2008 14:07:32
I guess I'd better sign your guest book and say "Hi Dad".
You know what I think about your writing - I like most of them (except for the one about the spiders you horrid man!), and the ones I don't are just not my cup of tea rather than there being anything wrong with them. I like the ones I already know best, like the wine one, or the ones about George and Poppy and co, but that's because I already know the stories, but enjoy the way you tell them.
Anyway, keep going with it Dad - you need to start making some money though to pay for my lifestyle!!! Lisa
Max Booth III (Chainsaw Enema)

 Created On: 08/08/2008 05:56:33
Wow.

You been reading all my stories and now I feel bad I've haven't read many of yours. That gonna change, though. Just read your 'Layers of Innocence' and that was brilliant. You are truely a talented writer, my friend. I think I might start on your 'Stick' series next.

Oh yeah, you can keep your cats. I'm allergic to them, they make me go blind.

Keep well,

Max
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): That's great because George says his passport is out of date anyway.

Phil
Christian Wright (FRANTIC)

WICKLOW
 Created On: 08/06/2008 16:41:53
so youre from Derbyshire.Lived in Utoxeter, thats not too far from you is it.Anyway write on.
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): No, just up the road along the A50 - about half an hour.

Phil
Nathan Weaver (onyxdragon)

Missouri
 Created On: 08/06/2008 09:59:46
I must say, I like Lulu as well. I haven't published on it, yet, though. I'm trying to finish writing and polishing a collection of short stories. I really like the way Lulu works. It's very nice. I'll have to go check your collection on Lulu out. Write on.
stickfigure (sTiCkFiGuRe)

lost in my mind
 Created On: 07/30/2008 07:50:21
Sit back and breath...popping stories out faster then the Spears sisters. I read fast, but not THAT fast.
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): In take 'em while they're there........no fresh ideas for a day or so, but got a stock af three or four to keep me going.

Phil
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