An unexpected gift, Chapter 1

(Author's note: It's the first chapter to an attempt...

Valentine's Day

There are times in our lives when it seems that Life...

Philip Neale (philneale1952) Profile Page
Philip Neale (philneale1952)
Hits 9141
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 04/30/2008
Last Online 01/08/2009
Connections 74
Avg Profile Rating
 
Website/Blog: www.philipneale.blogspot.com
About Myself: Accountant, 55, aspiring writer. Married 2 children, 2 cats (not married to the cats but they think they rule the roost). See gallery for more pictures - George was starting to demand appearance money so I relegated him to the background.......teach him to be sassy!

Ok, so we're pals again.........Hey George, see the nice reader? Kill !!!!!!

Started writing in July 2007 and found that I couldn't stop. Manuscripts now comprise 3 finished novels (60,000; 85,000; 65,000 words respectively) one in progress (currently 20,000), 2 compilations of short stories (total 100,000 words), and some messing around with poetry, although I must confess that it's not my favourite.

That started as limericks on birthday and anniversary cards and now I can't get off the hook.

If anyone knows of a cure............I may be interested (although not JUST yet).

First manuscript is now a finished and published novel "A Ticket to Tewkesbury" (see stories list for a preview and list of acknowledgements).


Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Jan 6, 2009At Your CommandHumor 90
Jan 2, 2009A Shot Too FarAdventure 103
Jan 1, 2009And Did These FeetHumor 92
Dec 28, 2008A Shot in the DarkAdventure 229
Dec 25, 2008Two Little Dicky Birds, Chapter 4Mystery 87
Dec 23, 2008Two Little Dicky Birds, Chapter 3Mystery 94
Dec 22, 2008FallingRomance 258
Dec 20, 2008Two Little Dicky Birds, Chapter 2Mystery 123
Nov 29, 2008A Deal of TroubleHorror 124
Nov 18, 2008AnniversaryPoetry 105
Nov 4, 2008Wishful Thinking - The Final Chapter, Chapter 7Horror 122
Nov 2, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 6Horror 145
Nov 2, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 5Horror 153
Oct 30, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 4Horror 164
Oct 29, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 3Horror 186
Oct 24, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 2Horror 206
Oct 20, 2008Ouch!Humor 322
Oct 9, 2008What Kind of Tool Am I?Humor 259
Oct 2, 2008Lasting LoveMiscellaneous Stories 246
Sep 29, 2008Wishful Thinking, Chapter 1Horror 601
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 5 Next > End >>

Books

TitleDate
Full MarksNov 14, 2008

Comments

Title article: Delete 'n Recycle
Date: 2009-01-06 11:08:46
Oh............
...........this is very good. Lovely piece of whimsy and done in such a readable form. 
 
Rhythm was ecxellent, and the metaphorical use of the computer against the human form was outstanding. 
 
Getting the hanmg of this site aren't you Bonnie? 
 
Phil

Title article: Kallisa's Creed, Chapter 1
Date: 2009-01-06 05:03:36
Start
Yes, it is a good start. 
 
Descriptions and scene setting were fine, and the cover of darkness well portrayed. 
 
The injection of pace at an earely stage is a well-trodden path and one that you used to good effect. 
 
I'd say go with it and show us more. 
 
Phil

Title article: She Has Sinned
Date: 2009-01-06 04:58:09
Brutal
Brutal and uncompromising treatment of the subject matter. 
 
Too often we dress it up in euphamisms, but not you. 
 
Straight from the shoulder, and taking a sacrifice with her that's cleaner than she is. 
 
Exactly the right length, and jaw-droppingly realistic. 
 
Phil

Title article: Donattsu's Secret
Date: 2009-01-06 04:49:12
Odd
I thought so too. Was wondering from the start where it was going, as it seemed kind of boring, but then to be faced with the ending was just too much. 
 
It seemed contrived and without much of a plot. I hate being negative and will go out of my way to find a plus or two, but it just wasn't there. 
 
Spelling and grammar were ok though. 
 
Phil

Title article: Flight of Eagles
Date: 2009-01-06 04:43:23
Cycle
Simple, well thought out and beautiful in its relating of the cycle of life. 
 
Phil

Title article: Into Theirs-new edited version
Date: 2009-01-06 04:42:06
Jipper
Nice insight Jipper. 
 
To me this was the tale of the introvert - too shy and insecure to relate to people in a group, but confident and free once alone. 
 
Great imagery and some very nice touches with the language. 
 
Phil

Title article: JULIA'S UNCERTAINTY.
Date: 2009-01-06 04:39:30
Pick Up
Good pick up from the previous story, and for a while I thought that you might be leading us down the road of a double-whammy. 
 
How hilarious it would have been if he'd turned out to have had a sex change too. 
 
However, that's not your style, and the ending was more fitting to the story line, and the final sadness was far more satisfying than my own trite anticipation. 
 
Good story, Terry. 
 
Phil

Title article: Angel of Music
Date: 2009-01-06 04:34:03
Overtones
I am unsure whether this is a religious or secular piece of work. 
 
It can be read either way, and comes out quite different each time. 
 
Smooth flow, nicley put together, and an all-round good effort. 
 
Phil

Title article: Serpentine, Chapter 24
Date: 2009-01-06 04:30:57
Pause
A breathing space, and this one needs them. 
 
Good idea to summarise part of the plot and pull threads together. 
 
The puzzle now is why Kayne is doing what he is, and what his real relationship to Katey will turn out to be. 
 
Lots of infighting within groups is good for the story, and keeps us on your toes. 
 
I'm looking out for Shepherd though - don't hink we've heard the last of him. 
 
Phil

Title article: Rookie, Chapter 28
Date: 2009-01-06 04:24:08
End?
I can't believe this is coming to an end. There must be some other pit that they fall into before sanity returns. 
 
The pace of this particulat chpater was breathtaking and I felt the tension all the way through. 
 
Sometimes, in stories this long, there is a tendency for the plot to flag, but thios one has just gone from strength to strength. 
 
Phil

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
01/06/2009 11:13:50Re:assholes of the site...we know who you are.Off-Topic332
01/02/2009 02:54:51Re:RantOff-Topic411
12/31/2008 14:41:51Re:The RookieOff-Topic231
12/31/2008 04:45:18The RookieOff-Topic231
12/17/2008 06:44:59Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic372292
12/17/2008 06:43:31Re:Happy Birthday!Off-Topic498
12/17/2008 00:08:06Re:Happy Birthday!Off-Topic498
12/16/2008 05:28:54Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic372292
11/22/2008 03:27:19Re:Help with my school project??Off-Topic1817
11/02/2008 11:11:31Re:Deletions?Off-Topic723

Connection

Philip Neale (philneale1952)'s connections

OFFLINE Lawrence Roth (LawrenceRoth)
OFFLINE Roger Bounchareune (rbouncha)
OFFLINE Larry Joseph Ballard (Kaden)
OFFLINE speedy the deaf and blind dog (speedy the deaf and blind)
OFFLINE Cody OBryant (Lifeless)
OFFLINE Bonnie Badgley (New Patches)
OFFLINE Daniel (thickblueline)
OFFLINE Dalziel J. Hansen (Dalziel)
OFFLINE Elroy Jackson (villanova21)
OFFLINE j.p. martin (jipper)
 
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next > End >>

Guestbook


Name Entry
Verthandi W. (Verthandi)

Created On: 01/07/2009 15:46:39

Hi there! n_n

I wanted to stop by and thank you (a lot!) for your comment!

Well, English isn’t my first language at all. I live in Venezuela so it’s Spanish all the way! (Though I hate it!).

I hope I haven’t made a lot of mistakes while writing, but I know there are still a lot of them ’cause as I read again every chapter I always find something I must fix. It’s quite nerve-wracking! Yet, it would mean the world to me if you could point those little things out, just so I can learn a bit more! n.n

I really hope you like the story. “Immortal Sonata” is not my kind of writing (actually it was originally a script for a movie I was planning!), but I must admit I started it and now I can’t stop! n_ñu

Anyway! Thanks a lot for reading my silly little story! n_n

Verthandi W.

PS: I shall be looking at your stories very soon! I see a lot of “Horror”! My kind of thing! Haha! n_=

Vincent Revaro (Surrealist)

Earth (For now...)
Created On: 11/26/2008 00:09:56

Hey, I'm somewhat new to the site, but in the short time I've been here I have found an amazing community. I was thrilled to read about your success in being able to publish a novel. Your success makes me question whether or not I'm getting into this writing thing too early! Maybe I should reconsider my choice of career. If we have our whole lives to be successful, why worry about starting now?

I hope you continue to compose and share the craft you have learned.

-Vincent
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): Hey Vince

Shouldn't wory about the timing. You do it when you feel the need. I l;eft it until fairly late (56 now) but it's like a drug when you get going.

This is a great site, and I've let my attendance slip whilst working on the book but that's something that will change pretty soon.

There are some great writers on here, but everyone suffers the same fate - breaking into the agent/publisher club is not easy and over half of my submissions have been politely rejected - the other half didn't even bother to reply!

Finding my publisher was just a stroke of luck, and they've been VERY good. It really is a lottery.

The book is my second, but it's the first oen that's been done the correct commercial way. The other was on Lulu and is self-published so it's not widely known unless you realise exactly where it is.

Thanks for the sign-in.

Phil


Amie Kerlin (lemon)

Created On: 10/12/2008 16:53:04

Aparently I missed your birthday, so happy belated birthday.

I just thought I would drop in and say hi since I hadn't talked to you in FOREVER. I have so much reading to catch up on.
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): Hey Lemon, not gone "sour" on me then?

Belated thanks

Phil


amanda (ams)

Created On: 10/01/2008 13:34:29

happy birthday!!!
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): Belated thanks

Phil


Michelle Huff (allmine)

Not sure.....
Created On: 10/01/2008 09:17:48

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): Golly, how did you know? It's really amazing that you knew..........so kind of you to remember an old man (!)

Phil


Lisa (antheerr)

England
Created On: 08/21/2008 14:07:32

I guess I'd better sign your guest book and say "Hi Dad".
You know what I think about your writing - I like most of them (except for the one about the spiders you horrid man!), and the ones I don't are just not my cup of tea rather than there being anything wrong with them. I like the ones I already know best, like the wine one, or the ones about George and Poppy and co, but that's because I already know the stories, but enjoy the way you tell them.
Anyway, keep going with it Dad - you need to start making some money though to pay for my lifestyle!!! Lisa

Max Booth III (Chainsaw Enema)

Created On: 08/08/2008 05:56:33

Wow.

You been reading all my stories and now I feel bad I've haven't read many of yours. That gonna change, though. Just read your 'Layers of Innocence' and that was brilliant. You are truely a talented writer, my friend. I think I might start on your 'Stick' series next.

Oh yeah, you can keep your cats. I'm allergic to them, they make me go blind.

Keep well,

Max
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): That's great because George says his passport is out of date anyway.

Phil


Christian Wright (FRANTIC)

WICKLOW
Created On: 08/06/2008 16:41:53

so youre from Derbyshire.Lived in Utoxeter, thats not too far from you is it.Anyway write on.
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): No, just up the road along the A50 - about half an hour.

Phil


Nathan Weaver (onyxdragon)

Missouri
Created On: 08/06/2008 09:59:46

I must say, I like Lulu as well. I haven't published on it, yet, though. I'm trying to finish writing and polishing a collection of short stories. I really like the way Lulu works. It's very nice. I'll have to go check your collection on Lulu out. Write on.

stickfigure (sTiCkFiGuRe)

lost in my mind
Created On: 07/30/2008 07:50:21

Sit back and breath...popping stories out faster then the Spears sisters. I read fast, but not THAT fast.
Feedback from Philip Neale (philneale1952): In take 'em while they're there........no fresh ideas for a day or so, but got a stock af three or four to keep me going.

Phil


<< Start < Prev [1] 2 Next > End >>

Pictures

Picture/Images uploaded by the member


 

Remove Ads