A Date with Priya

It was a typical winter evening in Kolkata. Velvety...

Apparition of Justice

It was unseasonably warm he thought as he wiped the...
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine) Profile Page
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)
Hits 4409
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 02/26/2008
Last Online 08/28/2008
Connections 12
Avg Profile Rating
 
About Myself: I think it's awesome that the site automatically bleeps words like shit and fuck.

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Aug 23, 2008Life As He Knew It.Miscellaneous Stories 67
Jul 20, 2008Under The Stars.Miscellaneous Stories 142
Jul 11, 2008Unavoidable Detours Created By The Elderly.Miscellaneous Stories 145
Jul 3, 2008Honest Livings.Miscellaneous Stories 135
Jun 22, 2008Preferences.Miscellaneous Stories 97
Jun 14, 2008Velocity.Miscellaneous Stories 114
Jun 11, 2008Coffee Stains, Chapter 2Miscellaneous Stories 231
Jun 8, 2008Coffee Stains, Chapter 1Miscellaneous Stories 496
May 25, 2008His Favorite Chords.Miscellaneous Stories 591
Apr 27, 2008Admittedly, I Have Been Busy.Miscellaneous Stories 276
Mar 19, 200811:11 And 11:12 Can Be DifferentMiscellaneous Stories 518
Mar 14, 2008Drops Of Rain.Miscellaneous Stories 263
Mar 10, 2008The Sunlight That Didn't Come Through The Blinds.Miscellaneous Stories 297
Mar 8, 2008How Dolan Quit His Job, Without Pronouncing His Name.Miscellaneous Stories 274
Mar 6, 2008You Can't Unring A Bell.Miscellaneous Stories 277
Mar 5, 2008The Strangest Places.Miscellaneous Stories 267
Mar 4, 2008A Man Possessed.Miscellaneous Stories 228
Mar 2, 2008There Are Many Ways (This Not Being One).Miscellaneous Stories 255
Feb 28, 2008It's Free. You Can't Get A Refund.Miscellaneous Stories 334
Feb 27, 2008One Is Always Enough.Miscellaneous Stories 450
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 Next > End >>

Comments

Title article: Friday Night
Date: 2008-05-11 20:25:34

Getting high in a forest before playing volleyball. 
I'm pretty sure I've never heard that one on a checklist. I like how it is almost optimistic in a weird way. Besides that, there was nothing that was remarkable (in literal terms).

Title article: The Die Is Cast, Chapter 3
Date: 2008-05-11 19:57:02

It feels like it's stretching for me. Tension shouldn't have to get breasts implants at the end of every chapter. 
There shouldn't have to be gunshots to keep me reading, I should be curious for her plight, and simply, I'm not. The gunshots almost take away from that more so because it takes away the dynamics of a characters. 
When you create gunshots or anything along those lines, you're drawing focus, and inevitably, choices, away from the character. Tension derives from the ability for your character to make wrong/right choices. 
I like the active narrator. It makes me believe that there is a bias and that there might be an omnipotent liar. 
Keep on keeping on. 
CS.

Title article: The Die Is Cast, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-05-11 19:50:38

All you can rape buffet. 
That is the single most inappropriate thing I've ever heard.

Title article: Insane
Date: 2008-05-11 18:15:40

I read it again and I remembered how funny and fit the bit about masturbating was into this and how long it took me to figure it out even if it was right in front of me, I didn't expect it. 
You are either really crazy and good at hiding it, or really crazy and not good at hiding it. Or you are good at creating characters that mimic you and you're crazy. Or you are good at creating characters that don't mimic you and you're just crazy. Or you're good at writing poetry that isn't pretentious or boring or egotistical but you are still crazy. 
Whatever it is, I just read it five times consecutively and I was grinning the whole time. This is a gem on this site.

Title article: 23rd Century Digital Girl: Chapter 1
Date: 2008-05-10 09:13:58

That's dangerously close to a Bad Religion song title. 
Someone had to catch it.

Title article: Grotesque
Date: 2008-05-07 18:34:59

That was a good job bringing those events together. Very well done in that regard. 
" They smiled over their achievements while the bodies were rolled out, first the 12 year old son, then the 14 year old daughter, then both parents." 
I thought that was the strongest line. You have to wonder what detectives get from their job. 
I can't say specifics because I'm not that sure of what I mean, but I would like more from this. 
Keep on keeping on. 
cS.

Title article: so you want a day off?
Date: 2008-05-07 18:27:10

I think that's kind of funny. 
I'm curious as to what you copied that off, not to accuse, but it is too satirical and goal-oriented for me to assume it's not someone else's work.

Title article: Dead
Date: 2008-05-07 18:22:03

Didn't do anything for me. 
I thought it was drawn out, tried and expected. 
 
Oh, and by the way, 
If a guy that was less than 250 pounds took 26 shots, he would be dead. No questions asked. Dead. Let alone, asking for a twenty-seventh, and DRIVING HOME. 
He wouldn't be able to move off a stool. Too specific, especially if you don't know the quantity/quality.

Title article: white light
Date: 2008-05-07 18:12:35

Hm. If that was meant to be a funny story, then terrorists were planning on flying to Hawaii.

Title article: When Shes Gone...
Date: 2008-05-07 17:58:54

This sounds like one of those anti-marijuana commercials. 
It sounds like non-fiction, too. 
Keep on keeping on. 
cS.

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
05/27/2008 09:10:25Re:Comments: Tragedy and Good IntentionsOff-Topic1290
05/26/2008 20:46:26Comments: Tragedy and Good IntentionsOff-Topic1290
05/21/2008 22:49:20Re:Favorite AuthorOff-Topic3418
05/20/2008 11:12:23Re:Writing TipsOff-Topic745
05/20/2008 11:11:48Re:Writing TipsOff-Topic745
03/13/2008 23:12:52Re:What do YOU do when planning stories?Off-Topic867
03/01/2008 01:58:42Re:Appreciate it.Off-Topic626
02/29/2008 05:09:48Appreciate it.Off-Topic626

Connection

Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)'s connections

OFFLINE Kasi (Kasi Elaborated)
OFFLINE Philip Neale (philneale1952)
OFFLINE Dipankar Dasgupta (d.dasgupta)
OFFLINE JJ Tyler (JJtyler)
OFFLINE Jody (Jody)
OFFLINE tomahawk (tomahawk)
OFFLINE Thomas Reynolds (ThomasP3)
OFFLINE Christopher Chadwyck (Chadwyck45)
OFFLINE Egoist (Egoist)
OFFLINE Patrick Lytle (PKLytle)
 
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Guestbook


Name Entry
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

 Created On: 07/19/2008 23:25:02
Edited By Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^) On: 07/19/2008 23:25:45
SPAZ
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

a wasteland
 Created On: 07/05/2008 23:35:00
Edited By Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) On: 07/05/2008 23:35:22
whoa! there seems to be some serious heat here. but i like the cold, so i'm moving on. see ya

Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

 Created On: 06/17/2008 06:35:22
Edited By Jutta Motrin (CELL) On: 06/17/2008 06:36:00
White Tiger
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

 Created On: 06/13/2008 07:46:37
Edited By Jutta Motrin (CELL) On: 06/17/2008 06:36:32
Funny, I remember the conversation going more like this:


>>>>>>>>>>CELL wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Eh, I'm bored. Goodbye.

>>>>>>>>>> cookingWine wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>Of course Juttabell, and you know that they only go "peuw peuw" for you!

>>>>>>>CELL wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> Fanny Pack (i.e. you), not unless you have some lasers inside you.

>>>>>>>>cookingWine wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> You are so gracious Juttabell, please, may I compliment you on your anatomy?

>>>>>CELL wrote:
>>>>>>>> Eh, sure you can be my fanny pack.

>>>>cookingWine wrote:
>>>>> Please Juttabell!
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

 Created On: 06/12/2008 13:40:22
Edited By Jutta Motrin (CELL) On: 06/13/2008 07:29:27
My fanny pack.
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

 Created On: 05/28/2008 12:10:36
Edited By Jutta Motrin (CELL) On: 05/28/2008 12:12:32
Those aren't stink lines. It's the emanating glory that surrounds me.
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

 Created On: 05/26/2008 15:09:22
I heard you don't bathe.
Feedback from Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine): I heard it's just the reflective stink from you.
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

 Created On: 05/25/2008 19:00:08
Edited By Jutta Motrin (CELL) On: 06/12/2008 14:06:40
to answer your question, if the air around Earth froze it'd look like a cube, and then Subzero Earth would get placed inside an ice cube tray. I dunno why, would definitely eliminate an ice cube tray's purpose, but well, that's just what I heard... you know, just from around...
Feedback from Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine): I heard you suck.
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)

 Created On: 05/13/2008 17:46:01
Hello, ugly.
Sorrow Is My Mask (resistanceisfreedom)

 Created On: 04/30/2008 13:08:03
You can go fuck yourself. And then go pour another glass of that boring wine.
Feedback from Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine): Cheers!
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