Sherman

Here's a story that I wrote for my daughter. She...

Sorry

Michael O'Reilley was going to apologise to his...
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine) Profile Page
Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)
Hits 6494
Online Status ONLINE
Member Since 02/26/2008
Last Online 01/07/2009
Connections 12
Avg Profile Rating
 
About Myself: I'm looking for an interesting writer to critique heavily.
(story about thek nuckleballer)

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Oct 31, 2008A Passing Strangeness.Miscellaneous Stories 99
Oct 11, 2008A Night After Dinner.Miscellaneous Stories 194
Sep 12, 2008Disillusionment.Miscellaneous Stories 162
Sep 11, 2008A History of the Defeated.Miscellaneous Stories 226
Aug 23, 2008Life As He Knew It.Miscellaneous Stories 193
Jul 20, 2008Under The Stars.Miscellaneous Stories 225
Jul 11, 2008Unavoidable Detours Created By The Elderly.Miscellaneous Stories 233
Jul 3, 2008Honest Livings.Miscellaneous Stories 200
Jun 22, 2008Preferences.Miscellaneous Stories 159
Jun 14, 2008Velocity.Miscellaneous Stories 173
Jun 11, 2008Coffee Stains, Chapter 2Miscellaneous Stories 286
Jun 8, 2008Coffee Stains, Chapter 1Miscellaneous Stories 572
May 25, 2008His Favorite Chords.Miscellaneous Stories 656
Apr 27, 2008Admittedly, I Have Been Busy.Miscellaneous Stories 371
Mar 19, 200811:11 And 11:12 Can Be DifferentMiscellaneous Stories 588
Mar 14, 2008Drops Of Rain.Miscellaneous Stories 341
Mar 10, 2008The Sunlight That Didn't Come Through The Blinds.Miscellaneous Stories 370
Mar 8, 2008How Dolan Quit His Job, Without Pronouncing His Name.Miscellaneous Stories 372
Mar 6, 2008You Can't Unring A Bell.Miscellaneous Stories 366
Mar 5, 2008The Strangest Places.Miscellaneous Stories 336
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 Next > End >>

Comments

Title article: The Coma
Date: 2008-03-03 17:12:39

Eh. Something is there. It might just take another try to get it for me. 
Opening a story with "I never would have expected something like this to happen to me..." is kind of ugly as a beginning. Getting knocked into a coma isn't something many people would expect. 
 
Keep on keeping on.

Title article: The Premise Addition
Date: 2008-03-02 08:08:43

this seems to be a journal, or maybe even an essay, but either way, not enough for me to care about as a story goes. 
 
good sentences, as far as lacking filler and the ability to flow, though.

Title article: It's Free. You Can't Get A Refund.
Date: 2008-03-02 07:50:13

Thanks for the bit about tenses, appreciate it!

Title article: Red Demon
Date: 2008-02-28 20:45:16

i'd like to hear more in the way of short stories from you.

Title article: One Is Always Enough.
Date: 2008-02-28 07:18:18

FRAUD!  
^  
I'm not quite sure how the profile stealing thing works, but it always looks super awesome when someone comments their own story.  
Thanks!

Title article: One Is Always Enough.
Date: 2008-02-28 07:17:10

^ 
I'm not quite sure how the profile stealing thing works, but it always looks super awesome when someone comments their own story. 
Thanks!

Title article: One Is Always Enough.
Date: 2008-02-27 22:30:23

My mother always said, "look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves" 
seems like we could be related.

Title article: The Old Maid
Date: 2008-02-27 22:10:46

recycled is kinda like cliche, but more like something i've already heard before. keep in mind, I'VE. 
but listen, i'm just giving you criticism. writing is for enjoyment, so if you enjoy it, that's what it's all about.  
 
one last piece- the ones that you decide to quit on, those are the ones you should finish and submit. feedback can really lend a hand to that.

Title article: The Paradox.
Date: 2008-02-26 23:33:45

You kind of summed it up here, for yourself. 
"I find communication with you incredibly difficult to maintain considering just how relatively unaware you are of what exactly you have done." 
Did you do anything? 
 
Love of language is a good thing. Exploitation, is not.

Title article: The Old Maid
Date: 2008-02-26 22:50:51
eh.
It was funny, but not hilarious. It almost seems like sitcom humor, kind of recycled? You definitely have the guts to make it remarkable. My main issue has to do with the character being committed to what he seems to be. But all in all, being funny on paper is hard, and you do it. But I think I have the potential to be laughing harder. 
 
I think you were going in a beautiful direction with the line already mentioned, "When you’re sober the smell of booze jumps out at you like the background images in some psychedelic poster," but have you smelled booze hungover? It's like getting hit with a train that you didn't see coming, every single time. You can look away from a poster, the smell of booze doesn't shake that easy. Commit.

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
05/27/2008 08:10:25Re:Comments: Tragedy and Good IntentionsOff-Topic1794
05/26/2008 19:46:26Comments: Tragedy and Good IntentionsOff-Topic1794
05/21/2008 21:49:20Re:Favorite AuthorOff-Topic5718
05/20/2008 10:12:23Re:Writing TipsOff-Topic1085
05/20/2008 10:11:48Re:Writing TipsOff-Topic1085
03/13/2008 22:12:52Re:What do YOU do when planning stories?Off-Topic1099
03/01/2008 00:58:42Re:Appreciate it.Off-Topic878
02/29/2008 04:09:48Appreciate it.Off-Topic878

Connection

Nunyo Bidness (cookingWine)'s connections

OFFLINE Yahaira (Lockes)
OFFLINE Kasi (Kasi)
OFFLINE Philip Neale (philneale1952)
OFFLINE Dipankar Dasgupta (d.dasgupta)
ONLINE JJ Tyler (JJtyler)
OFFLINE Jody (Jody)
OFFLINE tomahawk (tomahawk)
OFFLINE Thomas Reynolds (ThomasP3)
OFFLINE Christopher Chadwyck (Chadwyck45)
OFFLINE Egoist (Egoist)
 
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 Next > End >>

Guestbook


Name Entry
Yahaira (Lockes)

 Created On: 01/05/2009 08:56:29
Edited By Yahaira (Lockes) On: 01/05/2009 09:14:57
Where's your baby momma?
JJ Tyler (JJtyler)

ATX
 Created On: 10/11/2008 13:55:03
You blasphemer. I'm a fan of the second smallest market in the NBA, and our leader has more rings than 24.
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it 		Created On: 09/09/2008 13:49:25
Edited By Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^) On: 09/09/2008 13:55:02
George: What's "dude"? Is that like "dude ranch"?
Wyatt: Dude means nice guy. Dude means a regular sort of person.
- Easy Rider

You, Dude-Man.
Me, Queen of Cool.

What are you, a Libertarian Republican?
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it 		Created On: 09/08/2008 15:58:07
Edited By Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^) On: 09/09/2008 13:55:35
Wouldn't that make you the undignified jockey?

Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it 		Created On: 09/03/2008 23:29:53
Edited By Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^) On: 09/03/2008 23:34:41
Green-eyed, best idiot SAVANT that there can possibly be, caped, tight underwear-wearing, fanny pack-sporting, taller than a skyscraper, more lively version of Ennui .
Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^)
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it 		Created On: 07/20/2008 01:25:02
Edited By Jutta Motrin (Juttabell^^) On: 07/20/2008 01:25:45
SPAZ
Max Booth III (Chainsaw Enema)

a wasteland
 Created On: 07/06/2008 01:35:00
Edited By Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) On: 07/06/2008 01:35:22
whoa! there seems to be some serious heat here. but i like the cold, so i'm moving on. see ya

Jutta Motrin (CELL)
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it 		Created On: 06/17/2008 08:35:22
Edited By Jutta Motrin (CELL) On: 06/17/2008 08:36:00
White Tiger
Jutta Motrin (CELL)
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it 		Created On: 06/13/2008 09:46:37
Edited By Jutta Motrin (CELL) On: 06/17/2008 08:36:32
Funny, I remember the conversation going more like this:


>>>>>>>>>>CELL wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>Eh, I'm bored. Goodbye.

>>>>>>>>>> cookingWine wrote:
>>>>>>>>>>>>Of course Juttabell, and you know that they only go "peuw peuw" for you!

>>>>>>>CELL wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> Fanny Pack (i.e. you), not unless you have some lasers inside you.

>>>>>>>>cookingWine wrote:
>>>>>>>>>> You are so gracious Juttabell, please, may I compliment you on your anatomy?

>>>>>CELL wrote:
>>>>>>>> Eh, sure you can be my fanny pack.

>>>>cookingWine wrote:
>>>>> Please Juttabell!
Jutta Motrin (CELL)
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it 		Created On: 06/12/2008 15:40:22
Edited By Jutta Motrin (CELL) On: 06/13/2008 09:29:27
My fanny pack.
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 Next > End >>

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