Short Stories | Storiesville.com

When the train doors opened, a blast of sticky air...

You're all I think about, Watching you...

amanda (ams) Profile Page

Hits	1379
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	05/08/2008
Last Online	09/07/2008
Connections	5
Avg Profile Rating

About Myself:

I'm still just a student in high school who just wants to get better at writing. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I'm here because I want to get better at writing and I want to see what others think of my pieces.

I discovered a love for writing nonfiction after reading an excerpt from Russell Baker's Growing Up. I mainly write nonfiction, but I also like to try to step out of the box and try different things.

You're probably wondering about my style of poetry. It started out as an idea that I had while driving to work one day listening to the radio play the song Layla. I loved how it went from the crazy guitar solo to the piano, and I wanted to capture that feeling of "chaos and order" in a poem. I went into work and it started raining and a kid that I worked with started complaining about how weatherman never get the weather right. And that is how ThE sToRm was born. Because of the feedback from that poem, I researched some of e.e. cummings and twisted a bit of his style into mine.

Some of my favorite books include: The Catcher in the Rye, The Importance of Being Earnest, To Kill a Mockingbird, Great Gatsby and Flipped. I would also recommend any writer to read On Writing Well. It sounds like a boring book, but it is quite entertaining and you might learn something.

I am currently taking down some of my stuff for revision, but I'm quite lazy so I might not get around to it for a while. That is also why I have not finished my series. It will come, some time soon.

Sorry I'm not on here as often as I use to be. With school starting back up, I don't have as much free time as I did during the summer.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Sep 5, 2008	Things aren't always as they appear	Non-Fiction	46
Sep 4, 2008	BREAKING through the SuRfAcE	Poetry	56
Aug 22, 2008	missing	Mystery	85
Aug 11, 2008	bottled UP	Poetry	265
Jul 22, 2008	heaven won't let me in	Poetry	150
Jul 3, 2008	ThE sToRm	Poetry	198
Jul 1, 2008	I Am the Failure	Poetry	204
Jun 13, 2008	Falling to Pieces, Chapter 2	Adventure	75
Jun 11, 2008	The Last of the Fears	Non-Fiction	184
May 27, 2008	Falling to Pieces, Chapter 1	Adventure	129
May 18, 2008	The Undreadful Monday	Non-Fiction	579
May 8, 2008	I shall not live in vain	Miscellaneous Stories	250

Comments

Title article: JUJUS (Gambia 2008)
Date: 2008-07-30 12:45:47

it was quite an interesting story. i think everyone has a few supersitions. it was also nicely written and enjoyable to read.

Title article: Peanut Butter and Doom
Date: 2008-07-29 14:54:13

ZP is a prime example of a murderous child. he even mentioned it in the comments. i say keep the analogy, i thought it was funny even if it was random.

Title article: The Bald Girl
Date: 2008-07-29 12:44:21

this was an interesting piece. quite an unusual topic.

like ZP said, i felt like you were forcing the rhymes at the beginning. i also found some of the wording a little awkward at the beginning, like "with only hair three." im taking that it is suppose to mean with only three hairs. at the end, it got better though. overall, it was good

.

Title article: Gehanna
Date: 2008-07-28 21:20:50

i found this quite interesting. i also thought of it being a futuristic piece, not something from the past or present.

it makes you wonder how would a perfect world be achieved?

Title article: NIGHTMARE
Date: 2008-07-28 20:54:33

ya i kinda see the mushroom cloud too, although im guessing that you wrote the whole piece with a center format and it was just the way the lines ended.

i thought that it was really good. it was short but to the point.

Title article: Ephemeral -- A haiku cum senryu
Date: 2008-07-28 20:25:53

i dont normally like haikus. to be honest, i didnt really like this one until i read the last line. then it all came together for me, and i really enjoyed it. i have to say that this one of the few haikus that i like. i liked the imagery of all beautiful things coming to an end.

Title article: Flowers on the Wall
Date: 2008-07-28 20:15:20

wow. i loved this! i got the figurative part about the flowers being temptations, but i also took some of it literally. like i could just picture this guy having a breakdown in this room with a flowered wallpaper and how it was driving him crazy, being locked up in this place. but then he asks for the Lord's hep and He helps him. idk if that makes any sense.

anyways i thought that it was wonderfuloy written. i liked how you wrote flowers on the wall at the beginning of each stanza to stress that point. i also thought that it flowed nicely.

Title article: EVERYBODY'S CHANGING
Date: 2008-07-28 19:23:14

this could make a good nonfiction story if you expanded it more. like talk about how you were walking down the boulevard and then they dont say hi. then have a flash back to the times you spent together. that way its putting your thoughts into a story instead of a blog type thing. it would also give your thoughts more order so it wouldnt be so cluttered to the reader.

Title article: Peanut Butter and Doom
Date: 2008-07-28 19:12:14

haha i thought this was good. my favorite part was when he was talking about the food that he's "killed." i thought that was wicked funny.

Title article: I am alone - the poem, read this before the story
Date: 2008-07-25 11:38:20

i found this quite creepy but an interesting idea. i just noticed that in the last line YOUR should be you're.

<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 5 [6] 7 ... 18 Next > End >>

Forum

Last 10 Forum Posts

Date	Subject	Category	Hits
09/05/2008 14:25:44	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	250660
08/26/2008 08:32:06	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	250660
08/26/2008 08:25:19	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	250660
08/13/2008 16:03:29	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	250660
08/12/2008 13:20:13	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	250660
08/12/2008 11:43:10	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	250660
08/12/2008 11:37:59	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	250660
08/11/2008 21:27:36	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	250660
07/24/2008 14:07:37	Re:A Question Concerning Non-Fiction	Off-Topic	789
07/21/2008 17:07:43	Re:want credits	Off-Topic	97

Connection

amanda (ams)'s connections

Philip Neale (philneale1952)

Project 30 (Project 30)

Billy (Vango)

amanda (amyJo)

Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

Guestbook

Name	Entry
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) getting the hell out of massachusetts	Created On: 09/05/2008 19:14:13 Okay, we're leaving. Steve Carell freaks me out ... why does he always have to scream like that? Something's terribly wrong with his soul, it's the only conclusion I've been able to come up with.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) Coming for you	Created On: 09/05/2008 19:03:53 Did you really think I would find that funny?? I find that highly offensive to my Indiana people. You have pissed off an entire state. We're coming for you, Amanda. We have corn n' the cobb with hidden razor blades ... and that's about all Indiana has. Well, it has me and that's priceless. You've pissed off the wrong tribe.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) In your head	Created On: 09/05/2008 18:42:44 sumbitch! smacks self in the forehead i knew that, too. Nope, it's a song by the Rolling Stones called "Jumpin' Jack Flash" Yes, it did. It does that all the time for me. Damn ghosts and their cruel tricks ... one day i'll make 'em all pay ... with possessed blood thirty purses
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 09/05/2008 18:27:01 Lol i wasn't trying to guess a song. To be honest, i didn't know that thing you quoted was a song. Isn't that a nursery rhyme? shit ... it sounds familiar. Why must you curse me?!
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) Dublin	Created On: 09/05/2008 18:10:26 I was born in a cross-fire hurricane And I howled at my ma in the driving rain, But its all right now, in fact, its a gas! But its all right. Im jumpin jack flash, Its a gas! gas! gas! I was raised by a toothless, bearded hag, I was schooled with a strap right across my back, But its all right now, in fact, its a gas! But its all right, Im jumpin jack flash, Its a gas! gas! gas! I was drowned, I was washed up and left for dead. I fell down to my feet and I saw they bled. I frowned at the crumbs of a crust of bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah I was crowned with a spike right thru my head. But its all right now, in fact, its a gas! But its all right, Im jumpin jack flash, Its a gas! gas! gas! Jumping jack flash, its a gas Jumping jack flash, its a gas Jumping jack flash, its a gas Jumping jack flash, its a gas Jumping jack flash
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 09/05/2008 17:55:31 Well he needs to learn how we handle things here in the States. No matter how terrifying they may be I don't understand. My name is Max ... not Jack. Are ... are you smoking the reefer?
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) Alaska	Created On: 09/05/2008 17:39:03 Edited By Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) On: 09/05/2008 17:39:26 Oh, I see. If he doesn't watch his back I'm gonna sick a purse on his ass. See how he likes that! any 3's?
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 09/05/2008 17:08:34 Do I have a monopoly? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm more of a Go Fish kind of guy
Philip Neale (philneale1952) Derbyshire, England	Created On: 08/23/2008 13:07:38 Jeeez it took me like three hours to get to the end of this book. Does Max have a monopoly? Anyway, singing in (just the once). Phil
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 19:38:36 haha yeah i forgot about that one. it is really catchy and you can use it in real life "Hey, when are you gonna be home?" "When I come around"