My Present

I wrote this poem and had RE Potter look it over. ...

The Peacock Case

When the train doors opened, a blast of sticky air...
amanda (ams) Profile Page
amanda (ams)
Hits 1322
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 05/08/2008
Last Online 09/04/2008
Connections 5
Avg Profile Rating
 
About Myself: I'm still just a student in high school who just wants to get better at writing. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I'm here because I want to get better at writing and I want to see what others think of my pieces.

I discovered a love for writing nonfiction after reading an excerpt from Russell Baker's Growing Up. I mainly write nonfiction, but I also like to try to step out of the box and try different things.

Some of my favorite books include: The Catcher in the Rye, The Importance of Being Earnest, To Kill a Mockingbird, Great Gatsby and Flipped. I would also recommend any writer to read On Writing Well. It sounds like a boring book, but it is quite entertaining and you might learn something.

I am currently taking down some of my stuff for revision, but I'm quite lazy so I might not get around to it for a while. That is also why I have not finished my series. It will come, some time soon.

Sorry I'm not on here as often as I use to be. With school starting back up, I don't have as much free time as I did during the summer.

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Sep 4, 2008BREAKING through the SuRfAcEPoetry 39
Aug 22, 2008missingMystery 80
Aug 11, 2008bottled UPPoetry 254
Jul 22, 2008heaven won't let me inPoetry 145
Jul 3, 2008ThE sToRmPoetry 195
Jul 1, 2008I Am the FailurePoetry 194
Jun 13, 2008Falling to Pieces, Chapter 2Adventure 73
Jun 11, 2008The Last of the FearsNon-Fiction 183
May 27, 2008Falling to Pieces, Chapter 1Adventure 125
May 18, 2008The Undreadful MondayNon-Fiction 577
May 8, 2008I shall not live in vainMiscellaneous Stories 248

Comments

Title article: Racism has a Color
Date: 2008-08-05 11:51:14

great poem! it flowed very well, and had a great message. we arent born with racism, its something thats taught to us.

Title article: Scratched
Date: 2008-08-05 11:45:28

i actually liked this. the first stanza was my favorite though. i also liked how every stanza the narrator seemed to be getting more desperate.

Title article: The Graveyard Greens
Date: 2008-08-04 11:33:20

loved the dialogue. it was quite funny, one of my favorites. original idea too, i never would have thought about that, a minature golf graveyard.

Title article: THE FIRE
Date: 2008-08-01 20:35:55

i actually really liked this story. it reminded me of the Rhode Island night club fire. 
 
just a note, a lot of the sentences started out with the word she, so it made the flow of the story choppy.

Title article: Don't Understand
Date: 2008-08-01 18:41:48

loved it. it was an amazing poem with a lot of emotion. it also flowed nicely.

Title article: Thoughts of a Soldier
Date: 2008-07-30 21:05:13

i trhought that this was an amazing poem. it flowed nicely and was well written. i enjoyed reading it. the topic was also really good, since i think it was something that a lot of people could relate to.

Title article: The Undreadful Monday
Date: 2008-07-30 21:01:26

it's funny that you said the first line, because i was showing this story to a friend earlier today and i reread the whole story. when i got to that line i was like, 'ohh i gotta fix that' but i never got around to doing it. also the "had" is suppose to be "hard." but im going to fix that.

Title article: JUJUS (Gambia 2008)
Date: 2008-07-30 12:45:47

it was quite an interesting story. i think everyone has a few supersitions. it was also nicely written and enjoyable to read.

Title article: Peanut Butter and Doom
Date: 2008-07-29 14:54:13

ZP is a prime example of a murderous child. he even mentioned it in the comments. i say keep the analogy, i thought it was funny even if it was random.

Title article: The Bald Girl
Date: 2008-07-29 12:44:21

this was an interesting piece. quite an unusual topic. 
 
like ZP said, i felt like you were forcing the rhymes at the beginning. i also found some of the wording a little awkward at the beginning, like "with only hair three." im taking that it is suppose to mean with only three hairs. at the end, it got better though. overall, it was good  
 
.

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
08/26/2008 08:32:06Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic247096
08/26/2008 08:25:19Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic247096
08/13/2008 16:03:29Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic247096
08/12/2008 13:20:13Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic247096
08/12/2008 11:43:10Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic247096
08/12/2008 11:37:59Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic247096
08/11/2008 21:27:36Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic247096
07/24/2008 14:07:37Re:A Question Concerning Non-FictionOff-Topic764
07/21/2008 17:07:43Re:want creditsOff-Topic92
07/02/2008 22:57:41Re:3-way for the people of Storiesville.comOff-Topic745

Connection

amanda (ams)'s connections

OFFLINE Philip Neale (philneale1952)
OFFLINE Project 30 (Project 30)
OFFLINE Billy (Vango)
OFFLINE amanda (amyJo)
OFFLINE Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)
 

Guestbook


Name Entry
Philip Neale (philneale1952)

Derbyshire, England
 Created On: 08/23/2008 13:07:38
Jeeez it took me like three hours to get to the end of this book.

Does Max have a monopoly?

Anyway, singing in (just the once).

Phil
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

 Created On: 08/11/2008 19:38:36
haha yeah i forgot about that one. it is really catchy

and you can use it in real life

"Hey, when are you gonna be home?"

"When I come around"
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

 Created On: 08/11/2008 18:49:39
I used to be a fan of Green Day, but I really like a couple of their songs. Jesus of Suburbia is really easy to relate to so I love that one. I also like Brain Stew and Time of Your Life.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

 Created On: 08/11/2008 18:07:36
yep, that's the one i'm talking about. one of my favorite songs.

what are some other bands your like?
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

 Created On: 08/11/2008 17:33:37
Hm ... some good lyrics to it.


Check out Duality by Slipknot and Through Glass by Stone Sour, but any of their songs are really great. Those old words about poking myself in the eyes in the lyrics for Duality.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

 Created On: 08/11/2008 17:25:14
Edited By Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) On: 08/11/2008 17:26:03
i burn burn like a wicker canbinet chalk white and oh so frail

it's a really good song

Hm...they don't sound familiar


I've been listening to a lot of slipknot and stone sour lately
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

 Created On: 08/11/2008 16:58:08
Damnit, what song is that from?

I think Inside Out by Eve 6, right?
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

 Created On: 08/11/2008 16:06:37
Edited By Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) On: 08/11/2008 16:11:47
but what if weird is normal and normal is weird?

but what is strange?

strange is orange juice and orange juice is vodka and vodka is a smiley face, hence the

Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

 Created On: 08/11/2008 13:21:31
No, mine is normal, everyone else is sick

Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

 Created On: 08/09/2008 20:01:28
It's a children's show. He has little Nazi puppets and a German folk song to go along with it
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 Next > End >>

Pictures

Picture/Images uploaded by the member



No Items published in this profile gallery
 

Remove Ads