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About once a year or so, I get the chance to visit my...

Darkening, Chapter 1 Author: Jessie Masoner...

amanda (ams) Profile Page

Hits	1248
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	05/08/2008
Last Online	08/28/2008
Connections	5
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About Myself:

I'm still just a student in high school who just wants to get better at writing. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I'm here because I want to get better at writing and I want to see what others think of my pieces.

I discovered a love for writing nonfiction after reading an excerpt from Russell Baker's Growing Up. I mainly write nonfiction, but I also like to try to step out of the box and try different things.

Some of my favorite books include: The Catcher in the Rye, The Importance of Being Earnest, To Kill a Mockingbird, Great Gatsby and Flipped. I would also recommend any writer to read On Writing Well. It sounds like a boring book, but it is quite entertaining and you might learn something.

I am currently taking down some of my stuff for revision, but I'm quite lazy so I might not get around to it for a while. That is also why I have not finished my series. It will come, some time soon.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Aug 11, 2008	bottled UP	Poetry	238
May 27, 2008	Falling to Pieces, Chapter 1	Adventure	121
Jun 13, 2008	Falling to Pieces, Chapter 2	Adventure	72
Jul 22, 2008	heaven won't let me in	Poetry	140
Jul 1, 2008	I Am the Failure	Poetry	186
May 8, 2008	I shall not live in vain	Miscellaneous Stories	236
Aug 22, 2008	missing	Mystery	68
Jun 11, 2008	The Last of the Fears	Non-Fiction	179
Jul 3, 2008	ThE sToRm	Poetry	192
May 18, 2008	The Undreadful Monday	Non-Fiction	570

Comments

Total number of comments: 169

Title article: I just wanna move on!
Date: 2008-08-28 21:00:43

the story behind the poem itself was quite good and interesting. i personally thought that the flow of the poem needed to be worked on a bit, but that could just be me.

it might help the poem if you adjust the formatting a little bit. I's need to be capitalized, some lines are smaller than others, theres a ton of white space in between lines. but you dont have to limit yourself to standard formatting if you dont want to. i mess around with the formats on some of my poems going with watever seems right and is visually appealing.

overall, i thought that you did a nice job on this poem. keep on writing!

Title article: Ode to Chaabuk
Date: 2008-08-28 10:55:44

i read this on the wo(w)nderful wife or watever and found it quite amusing since you probably wrote this in like a minute. but to be honest, im quite sick of all these poems with the same endings that make absolutely no sense to me.

Title article: No Chivalry
Date: 2008-08-26 08:37:29

this was nice, it was a good poem. my favorite thing about it though was the story that it told. i really liked the narrative, it was sad but good.

Title article: Jericho, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-08-25 09:53:00

i've finally gotten around to finishing this chapter. it was very good, i liked how it flashed back. my favorite part was when him and his wife were arguing and he asked if it was because he shaved his head.

no one knows what its like, to be the bad man to be the sad man behind blue eyes. (i think you were alluding to that song?)

Title article: Postcard
Date: 2008-08-25 09:39:57

i definately agree with the others. this piece was wonderfully written, i loved the whole snapshot feeling of it. the descriptions were wonderful.

Title article: As my mind falls apart
Date: 2008-08-24 20:59:33

the story behind this poem was good. the only thing that bothered me was there seemed to be the word 'so' thrown in there a lot and it kind of cluttered the poem. for example the second line would flow better if it was "The ones that force me into these wrong choices."

other than that, i thought that the poem was quite good.

Title article: The Dragon
Date: 2008-08-24 20:51:33

loved this one, it was nicely written and flowed wonderfully. i especially liked the extended metaphor. i also understood the idea of how life can sometimes feel like a fairy tale, but then reality comes back and slaps you in the face.

Title article: A Child In The Garden
Date: 2008-08-24 20:17:57

this was very good and nicely written. at first, i thought it was going to be like a secret garden thing, but halfway through i was thinking the Garden of Eden. the whole egyptian thing was a nice twist.

Title article: "A Husband Shunned"
Date: 2008-08-22 20:45:27

ya this was really good. it really got into the character's head. as morbid as this sounds, i also liked that you killed him off at the end. it just seemed like the perfect ending for this story.

Title article: Southern Hospitality
Date: 2008-08-22 18:46:14

great story. the plot was amazing, and kept me wanting to read more. i also loved how you explained at the end how the "bellhop" pulled off the kidnapping.

it was also very nicely written and the development of the characters was excellent.

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Forum

Last 10 Forum Posts

Date	Subject	Category	Hits
08/26/2008 08:32:06	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	233237
08/26/2008 08:25:19	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	233237
08/13/2008 16:03:29	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	233237
08/12/2008 13:20:13	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	233237
08/12/2008 11:43:10	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	233237
08/12/2008 11:37:59	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	233237
08/11/2008 21:27:36	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	233237
07/24/2008 14:07:37	Re:A Question Concerning Non-Fiction	Off-Topic	714
07/21/2008 17:07:43	Re:want credits	Off-Topic	85
07/02/2008 22:57:41	Re:3-way for the people of Storiesville.com	Off-Topic	680

Connection

amanda (ams)'s connections

Philip Neale (philneale1952)

Project 30 (Project 30)

Billy (Vango)

amanda (amyJo)

Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

Guestbook

Name	Entry
Philip Neale (philneale1952) Derbyshire, England	Created On: 08/23/2008 13:07:38 Jeeez it took me like three hours to get to the end of this book. Does Max have a monopoly? Anyway, singing in (just the once). Phil
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 19:38:36 haha yeah i forgot about that one. it is really catchy and you can use it in real life "Hey, when are you gonna be home?" "When I come around"
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 18:49:39 I used to be a fan of Green Day, but I really like a couple of their songs. Jesus of Suburbia is really easy to relate to so I love that one. I also like Brain Stew and Time of Your Life.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 18:07:36 yep, that's the one i'm talking about. one of my favorite songs. what are some other bands your like?
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 17:33:37 Hm ... some good lyrics to it. Check out Duality by Slipknot and Through Glass by Stone Sour, but any of their songs are really great. Those old words about poking myself in the eyes in the lyrics for Duality.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 17:25:14 Edited By Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) On: 08/11/2008 17:26:03 i burn burn like a wicker canbinet chalk white and oh so frail it's a really good song Hm...they don't sound familiar I've been listening to a lot of slipknot and stone sour lately
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 16:58:08 Damnit, what song is that from? I think Inside Out by Eve 6, right?
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 16:06:37 Edited By Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) On: 08/11/2008 16:11:47 but what if weird is normal and normal is weird? but what is strange? strange is orange juice and orange juice is vodka and vodka is a smiley face, hence the
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 13:21:31 No, mine is normal, everyone else is sick
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/09/2008 20:01:28 It's a children's show. He has little Nazi puppets and a German folk song to go along with it

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