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WHAT KIND OF GOD? By Jon Stalk...

A Ticket to Tewkesbury by Philip Neale, writing as...

amanda (ams) Profile Page

Hits	1383
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	05/08/2008
Last Online	09/07/2008
Connections	5
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About Myself:

I'm still just a student in high school who just wants to get better at writing. Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I'm here because I want to get better at writing and I want to see what others think of my pieces.

I discovered a love for writing nonfiction after reading an excerpt from Russell Baker's Growing Up. I mainly write nonfiction, but I also like to try to step out of the box and try different things.

You're probably wondering about my style of poetry. It started out as an idea that I had while driving to work one day listening to the radio play the song Layla. I loved how it went from the crazy guitar solo to the piano, and I wanted to capture that feeling of "chaos and order" in a poem. I went into work and it started raining and a kid that I worked with started complaining about how weatherman never get the weather right. And that is how ThE sToRm was born. Because of the feedback from that poem, I researched some of e.e. cummings and twisted a bit of his style into mine.

Some of my favorite books include: The Catcher in the Rye, The Importance of Being Earnest, To Kill a Mockingbird, Great Gatsby and Flipped. I would also recommend any writer to read On Writing Well. It sounds like a boring book, but it is quite entertaining and you might learn something.

I am currently taking down some of my stuff for revision, but I'm quite lazy so I might not get around to it for a while. That is also why I have not finished my series. It will come, some time soon.

Sorry I'm not on here as often as I use to be. With school starting back up, I don't have as much free time as I did during the summer.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Jun 13, 2008	Falling to Pieces, Chapter 2	Adventure	76
May 27, 2008	Falling to Pieces, Chapter 1	Adventure	129
Aug 22, 2008	missing	Mystery	85
May 8, 2008	I shall not live in vain	Miscellaneous Stories	251
Sep 4, 2008	BREAKING through the SuRfAcE	Poetry	56
Aug 11, 2008	bottled UP	Poetry	265
Jul 22, 2008	heaven won't let me in	Poetry	151
Jul 3, 2008	ThE sToRm	Poetry	199
Jul 1, 2008	I Am the Failure	Poetry	204
Sep 5, 2008	Things aren't always as they appear	Non-Fiction	48
Jun 11, 2008	The Last of the Fears	Non-Fiction	184
May 18, 2008	The Undreadful Monday	Non-Fiction	580

Comments

Total number of comments: 174

Title article: Things aren't always as they appear
Date: 2008-09-05 21:05:14

they never met but he claimed that he was moving to boston. the whole thing happened like two days ago, so i dont even thing that she knows that her "boyfriend" is fake. so i had some trouble ending it. i thought itd make a good story though.

i was thinking of making it fiction, but i thought that nonfiction would be better since a lot of it really did happen.

Title article: There Is No Me Without You
Date: 2008-09-05 20:12:38

i actually really liked this poem, as simple as it was. i understood the whole nothing without you, i kinda saw it as how the other person completes you.

great poem

Title article: Rendition Of A Rose
Date: 2008-09-05 19:18:50

when i first saw this before i even read it, i thought it was a rosebud. i then thought i was right because the first line talks about the rose, but after reading your comment i realized i was wrong.

amazing poem though! the message was really good, i do believe that God gives us all a purpose to be here.i also thought that the content was just find, i didnt think it needed to be more board or anything.

Title article: No Admittance
Date: 2008-09-04 11:21:06

it's always good to read something uplifting, get away from the gloomy, love poems are just fine. i thought it was pretty good, i loved the imagery you created.

Title article: For as you judge, you will be judged
Date: 2008-09-04 08:57:16

i love short scenes like this that describe everday life. I think that everyone could relate to this in some way. Me, I could relate to both. I've been the quiet person judging others and the person not caring what others think. the second one is way more fun.

Title article: I just wanna move on!
Date: 2008-08-28 21:00:43

the story behind the poem itself was quite good and interesting. i personally thought that the flow of the poem needed to be worked on a bit, but that could just be me.

it might help the poem if you adjust the formatting a little bit. I's need to be capitalized, some lines are smaller than others, theres a ton of white space in between lines. but you dont have to limit yourself to standard formatting if you dont want to. i mess around with the formats on some of my poems going with watever seems right and is visually appealing.

overall, i thought that you did a nice job on this poem. keep on writing!

Title article: Ode to Chaabuk
Date: 2008-08-28 10:55:44

i read this on the wo(w)nderful wife or watever and found it quite amusing since you probably wrote this in like a minute. but to be honest, im quite sick of all these poems with the same endings that make absolutely no sense to me.

Title article: No Chivalry
Date: 2008-08-26 08:37:29

this was nice, it was a good poem. my favorite thing about it though was the story that it told. i really liked the narrative, it was sad but good.

Title article: Jericho, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-08-25 09:53:00

i've finally gotten around to finishing this chapter. it was very good, i liked how it flashed back. my favorite part was when him and his wife were arguing and he asked if it was because he shaved his head.

no one knows what its like, to be the bad man to be the sad man behind blue eyes. (i think you were alluding to that song?)

Title article: Postcard
Date: 2008-08-25 09:39:57

i definately agree with the others. this piece was wonderfully written, i loved the whole snapshot feeling of it. the descriptions were wonderful.

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Forum

Last 10 Forum Posts

Date	Subject	Category	Hits
09/05/2008 14:25:44	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	251027
08/26/2008 08:32:06	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	251027
08/26/2008 08:25:19	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	251027
08/13/2008 16:03:29	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	251027
08/12/2008 13:20:13	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	251027
08/12/2008 11:43:10	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	251027
08/12/2008 11:37:59	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	251027
08/11/2008 21:27:36	Re:Proclaim Your Royalty	Off-Topic	251027
07/24/2008 14:07:37	Re:A Question Concerning Non-Fiction	Off-Topic	791
07/21/2008 17:07:43	Re:want credits	Off-Topic	98

Connection

amanda (ams)'s connections

Philip Neale (philneale1952)

Project 30 (Project 30)

Billy (Vango)

amanda (amyJo)

Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

Guestbook

Name	Entry
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) getting the hell out of massachusetts	Created On: 09/05/2008 19:14:13 Okay, we're leaving. Steve Carell freaks me out ... why does he always have to scream like that? Something's terribly wrong with his soul, it's the only conclusion I've been able to come up with.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) Coming for you	Created On: 09/05/2008 19:03:53 Did you really think I would find that funny?? I find that highly offensive to my Indiana people. You have pissed off an entire state. We're coming for you, Amanda. We have corn n' the cobb with hidden razor blades ... and that's about all Indiana has. Well, it has me and that's priceless. You've pissed off the wrong tribe.
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) In your head	Created On: 09/05/2008 18:42:44 sumbitch! smacks self in the forehead i knew that, too. Nope, it's a song by the Rolling Stones called "Jumpin' Jack Flash" Yes, it did. It does that all the time for me. Damn ghosts and their cruel tricks ... one day i'll make 'em all pay ... with possessed blood thirty purses
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 09/05/2008 18:27:01 Lol i wasn't trying to guess a song. To be honest, i didn't know that thing you quoted was a song. Isn't that a nursery rhyme? shit ... it sounds familiar. Why must you curse me?!
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) Dublin	Created On: 09/05/2008 18:10:26 I was born in a cross-fire hurricane And I howled at my ma in the driving rain, But its all right now, in fact, its a gas! But its all right. Im jumpin jack flash, Its a gas! gas! gas! I was raised by a toothless, bearded hag, I was schooled with a strap right across my back, But its all right now, in fact, its a gas! But its all right, Im jumpin jack flash, Its a gas! gas! gas! I was drowned, I was washed up and left for dead. I fell down to my feet and I saw they bled. I frowned at the crumbs of a crust of bread. Yeah, yeah, yeah I was crowned with a spike right thru my head. But its all right now, in fact, its a gas! But its all right, Im jumpin jack flash, Its a gas! gas! gas! Jumping jack flash, its a gas Jumping jack flash, its a gas Jumping jack flash, its a gas Jumping jack flash, its a gas Jumping jack flash
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 09/05/2008 17:55:31 Well he needs to learn how we handle things here in the States. No matter how terrifying they may be I don't understand. My name is Max ... not Jack. Are ... are you smoking the reefer?
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) Alaska	Created On: 09/05/2008 17:39:03 Edited By Max Booth III (Zombie Punk) On: 09/05/2008 17:39:26 Oh, I see. If he doesn't watch his back I'm gonna sick a purse on his ass. See how he likes that! any 3's?
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 09/05/2008 17:08:34 Do I have a monopoly? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm more of a Go Fish kind of guy
Philip Neale (philneale1952) Derbyshire, England	Created On: 08/23/2008 13:07:38 Jeeez it took me like three hours to get to the end of this book. Does Max have a monopoly? Anyway, singing in (just the once). Phil
Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)	Created On: 08/11/2008 19:38:36 haha yeah i forgot about that one. it is really catchy and you can use it in real life "Hey, when are you gonna be home?" "When I come around"