Wishful Thinking, Chapter 1

Dave was always one for a laugh, and nothing gave him...

Sorry

Michael O'Reilley was going to apologise to his...
Michelle Huff (allmine) Profile Page
Michelle Huff (allmine)
Hits 8552
Online Status ONLINE
Member Since 01/22/2008
Last Online 01/07/2009
Connections 37
Avg Profile Rating
 
Website/Blog: www.voicesnet.org/displayonepoem.aspx?poemid=133749
About Myself: "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way...."

The world is perfect with the right man holding me tight and whispering in my ear, I love and you and want to take care of you forever.....And if you believe that load of crap then you are just as fucking delusional as I am.

I have a poem in a contest. Please click on the link above and leave a comment. Thanks...

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Dec 31, 2008Happy New YearMiscellaneous Stories 74
Dec 23, 2008How Many WaysPoetry 329
Dec 15, 2008One DayPoetry 449
Oct 22, 2008A Storiesville WeddingPoetry 378
Oct 10, 2008It's a Matter of ImportanceRomance 1380
Oct 3, 2008MiseryPoetry 380
Sep 25, 2008But Did He?Poetry 549
Sep 15, 2008May and DecemberPoetry 751
Sep 10, 2008WhoreMiscellaneous Stories 1100
Aug 22, 2008My PresentPoetry 605
Aug 13, 2008The DragonPoetry 1112
Aug 5, 2008PassionRomance 1415
Jul 8, 2008The LetterRomance 972
Jun 5, 2008What Am I?Poetry 536
Jun 2, 2008More ImportantPoetry 429
May 30, 2008The Boys in Her LifePoetry 442
May 19, 2008Number 1Poetry 517
May 19, 2008Why Do I CryPoetry 847
May 5, 2008True Love MeansPoetry 771
May 5, 20081500 DaysRomance 662
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Comments

Title article: If I Never See You Again
Date: 2008-10-17 07:50:28

This is actually a very heart touching poem. Sad..how can someone just abandon their child like that? I just don't get it. 
 
My only suggestion, and it's cause I am old and can't see (wait, I'm not that old!) is to break it up into 4 line stanzas since that is the way your rhyming scheme works

Title article: A Swifty Coming Storm
Date: 2008-10-17 07:48:27

Yeah at first I thought it was a storm in the mind...then I understood that it was a tornado..but I had to read it twice to get that. Why such short paragraphs?

Title article: SOME FOOLS (like me) NEVER LEARN
Date: 2008-10-17 07:42:02

Cute story... 
 
Yeah I have been accused of being a pregnant when I wasn't...it isn't pleasant for the one being called pregnant or the one who made the mistake.  
 
Watch the flow of the lines...overall a very good job

Title article: BLUE MONDAY.
Date: 2008-10-16 15:41:53

Oooh I like this one the best of them. It was more clear in it's intent and not as fragmented as the others. It delves into the mind of why someone would chose to become a nun...great job

Title article: Lonely Night
Date: 2008-10-16 15:35:16

This is one of your better poems...I like it. I like the three line stanzas, they work well here. Your poetry is so dark and so moving to me. Maybe cause I understand your pain

Title article: Slave to the World, Chapter 3
Date: 2008-10-16 15:27:59

Not as great as your other works, but not bad. I am waiting for all these stories to be pulled together, cause I know at somepoint they will be...or at least I hope!

Title article: The Degenerate
Date: 2008-10-16 09:32:03

Wow, how in the heck did I miss this one? This is an excellent view of the homeless person and how they view the world. It's sad that some of society has to live this way

Title article: Her Magic Touch, Chapter 6
Date: 2008-10-16 08:55:16

Liek the others have said, not your best work. However, I liked how Cheryl is involved and how John never paid any attention to her. Maybe it's a girl thing, but I understand why you put that in there! 
 
Can't wait to see how this comes out

Title article: Travelogue
Date: 2008-10-16 08:51:05

What what what? I am so confused....I think you have a good idea here, but it isn't fully developed. Your writing isn't bad, I am just not following the plot. See if you can work on it, cause it is a good idea

Title article: Project Morningstar
Date: 2008-10-16 08:43:38

Fantastic story. Like Potter, I thought we were talking about space first too. Much more realistic and haunting to be talking about hell. You have a couple of typos, but overall this story was fantastic!!!

Forum


Last 10 Forum Posts
DateSubjectCategoryHits
01/06/2009 14:40:33Re:Grocery StrategeryOff-Topic96
01/06/2009 14:39:29Re:assholes of the site...we know who you are.Off-Topic226
01/06/2009 13:03:38Re:Grocery StrategeryOff-Topic96
01/06/2009 07:43:58Re:Sequel to the Nightmare Before Christmas?Off-Topic318
01/06/2009 07:39:50Re:TechnologyOff-Topic787
01/06/2009 07:37:00Re:Grocery StrategeryOff-Topic96
01/06/2009 07:30:13Re:assholes of the site...we know who you are.Off-Topic226
01/06/2009 07:20:47Re:RantOff-Topic358
01/05/2009 08:58:41Re:Sequel to the Nightmare Before Christmas?Off-Topic318
01/05/2009 07:54:06Re:Proclaim Your RoyaltyOff-Topic370914

Connection

Michelle Huff (allmine)'s connections

OFFLINE Jenny (moonstruckeuphoria)
OFFLINE Matthew Lippart (mlippart)
OFFLINE simpleminded (hafwit)
OFFLINE Prithwish (prithwish)
OFFLINE Noof F. Al-Ashjaai (Noof Fahd)
OFFLINE Zim (Zim)
OFFLINE J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)
ONLINE Nathan Weaver (onyxdragon)
OFFLINE Sophie (epossal)
ONLINE amanda (ams)
 
<< Start < Prev [1] 2 3 4 Next > End >>

Guestbook


Name Entry
stickfigure (sTiCkFiGuRe)

cyberspace
 Created On: 12/30/2008 11:24:12
Just checking in and saying hi. Thanks for all your nice comments on all my stuff that has passed through. Listen, when you gonna dump Roger and run away with a (real man)
Billy (Vango)

 Created On: 11/25/2008 11:03:59
You are such a great writer

Lisa (antheerr)

 Created On: 11/08/2008 05:01:59
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW - where are the awesome pictures dad told me about?
Feedback from Michelle Huff (allmine): Gone I only had them up for a week
J. Dane Tyler (DarcKnyt)

Here!
 Created On: 10/17/2008 13:49:36
Hey! This is just a little forget-me-not.

I've been so glad we've gotten to know each other here on Storiesville, and I can't wait for more of your amazing work.

Have a great weekend.
Amie Kerlin (lemon)

 Created On: 10/12/2008 16:51:27
why thank you for the comment on my lemony picture lol

I figured it was about time you all knew what i REALLY looked like

Lisa (antheerr)

 Created On: 10/06/2008 05:45:39
Thought I should say Hi seeing as you seem to rule the roost.

stickfigure (sTiCkFiGuRe)

not sure where im at
 Created On: 09/29/2008 18:32:45
Just thought I'd pop in and say hey....so hey.

Helen Moore (HelentheCelt)

Far Far Away
 Created On: 09/10/2008 11:07:36
Hello fellow writer...

love your work

keep in touch

love and hugs xxx

Philip Neale (philneale1952)

Derbyshire
 Created On: 09/03/2008 08:52:38
Birthday? Nobody told me.......errr Happy Birthday mama.

Phil
Max Booth III (Chainsaw Enema)

a wasteland
 Created On: 07/03/2008 23:16:54
A zombie wishes you a happy birthday!

<< Start < Prev [1] 2 Next > End >>

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