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(Author's note: It's the first chapter to an attempt...

Triple the Trouble A Cynical Chick Flick...

alfred (Alfred) Profile Page

Hits	3156
Online Status	OFFLINE
Member Since	02/11/2008
Last Online	12/13/2008
Connections	5
Avg Profile Rating

About Myself:

Ive been told that I look like Alfred.E.Newman of the mad magazine. I personally see no resemblence...do you? Im 35 and still live at home...BECAUSE I ELECT TO is all. I write limericks...Its what I do, and im damn good at it. At least that's what my mom says. Im hoping that one day I will be a famous limerick guy. I hear chicks dig a limerick guy. Right now Im a cook at Burger King. Come on in and try our new triple stack whopper. Well, thats enough about me. Check out my limericks and give me a good review. That's what this site is about after all. Thanks...........................................coming ma...well, gotta go.

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Nov 18, 2008	Poems from Alfred	Poetry	374
Nov 17, 2008	Ode to Ruby Whispers	Poetry	322
Nov 1, 2008	Ouch	Poetry	363

Comments

Total number of comments: 192

Title article: Excuse Me, I Believe You Have...
Date: 2008-11-25 14:24:21

This was ok. A little boring for me, but ok. Im curious as to why you chose to put a question mark after the sentence(And that smart mouthed, clever daughter of mine? it doesen't seem like a question.?

Title article: razor hands
Date: 2008-11-19 19:54:50

Gosh this would have been really good. But all the misspelled words caused me to not understand any of it. You see, thats what I look for, misspelled words and puncuation errors, and you had a few. Get um fixed quick before the rest really rip you a knew one. They won't understand this either unless you fix them.

Title article: Poems from Alfred
Date: 2008-11-19 19:48:08

How could you. I poured my heart and soul into these poems. This is my life passion and you stepped all over it with your cruel and harsh words hafwit. These took me a good 5 minutes to write and I know they are damn good. A little lie would have been nice.

Title article: THE PERFECT SUNDAY MORNING
Date: 2008-11-19 19:32:22

shame on you
HI, Im Chris hansen from Dateline. We're doing a story about child molesters. Have you heard of us or seen the show. I have a manuscript of your conversation. Right here on line 1 you say: We kissed at the sight of each other,
you hugged me with such a big grin.
I hugged you back, then we got the knack,..or was that (in the sac)
and kissed over and over again.

What were you thinking,,,are you a hafwit?

Sorry, I dont do child porn.

Title article: I Was There.....Where Are You?
Date: 2008-11-19 05:50:46

touching,,but huh
Say what...Lets disect. saw him on a corner weeping, then you carried him up...where? Oh to the rooftop. If my mummy saw me on the roof with a cape,,I think she would freak and give me a whooping, especially since you all wanted to fly. Listen, also, what did he give up on,,how old are you at this point,,need more info...and lastly..the end makes it seem like hes dead,,but then it doesnt...since its been like forever since you saw each other,,how in the hell is he gonna know you need him silly. Did you stub your toe again big guy?

Title article: Frank
Date: 2008-11-17 20:33:58

This was not very good my man. I wouldn't be a great friend to you if I wasn't honest. There will come a group of viewers behind me saying this was awesome of the most high...they are not your friends,,they are decievers. You need to trash this and try again. Im not here to fluff like ruby whispers and others and mislead you. This was just bad.

Title article: Ode to Ruby Whispers
Date: 2008-11-17 20:19:59

Now thats writing.

Title article: Ode to Proofs
Date: 2008-11-15 07:23:43

cant have pudding if ya dont do math
Whats a math proof? Why is orange juice split on your bed..what does that mean? What does any of this mean professor? Oh wait,,math proofs, now I get...aaah, second thought,,,nah still dont.

Title article: Clive McCarthy
Date: 2008-11-15 07:15:07

Oh my God,,the kids got a machette...run,,wait, thats just a stick I think. No wait, the kid has an unusually long thumb. Even more amazing,,,he's standing on paralized legs...dude,,change your pic. This was just as boring as a real baseball game. Well, thats not being fair, I take that back, baseballs not THAT boring..second thought,,yea it is. Aint the worse on here.

Title article: the snake
Date: 2008-11-15 07:05:42

Don't believe snakes are attracted to us humans. More scared of us then we are of them. Having said that,,,God snakes scare the piss out of me..or was that crap..eh cant remember, its been awhile. Im glad this wasn't a looooooong snake story, they scare me more.

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Forum

Last 10 Forum Posts

Date	Subject	Category	Hits
12/13/2008 13:33:21	Re:Home again.... home again...	Off-Topic	449
11/21/2008 14:45:19	Re:Don't get it	Off-Topic	306
11/01/2008 11:28:17	Deletions?	Off-Topic	717
07/09/2008 12:18:03	Re:Ways to Annoy People	Off-Topic	5319
07/08/2008 20:57:32	Re:Does anyone write in long hand anymore?	Off-Topic	1188
06/27/2008 17:12:40	Re:Music	Off-Topic	5111
06/01/2008 20:45:45	Re:stupid offensive jokes anybody?	Off-Topic	5758
06/01/2008 20:29:41	Re:stupid offensive jokes anybody?	Off-Topic	5758
03/24/2008 12:23:37	not a bad guy	Off-Topic	276
03/18/2008 10:00:36	Re:What's inside your noggin?	Off-Topic	51094

Connection

alfred (Alfred)'s connections

Amy Carter (scooby)

mike counselman (gtmike)

Ashutosh Ghildiyal (Ashutosh)

Billy (Vango)

Sean (IggyJack)

Guestbook

Name	Entry
Christian Wright (FRANTIC) Ireland	Created On: 07/14/2008 14:07:46 I know I'm gonna regret this because one day youre gonna slag off my story.But your comments crack me up.

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