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Can you pack? Have you any idea what is involved? Do...

He couldn't believe it. He looked down at the letter...

Jessica (Forsaken) Profile Page

Hits	1135
Online Status	OFFLINE
Last Online	07/20/2008
Connections	6
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About Myself:

Stories

Published Short Stories

Date	Title	Category	Hits
Jul 17, 2008	Until we meet again...	Poetry	107
Jul 9, 2008	A cruel passion	Horror	126
Jul 8, 2008	In the heart, Chapter 2	Horror	49
Jul 1, 2008	Question of Love	Poetry	105
Jun 30, 2008	Deception	Miscellaneous Stories	69
Jun 21, 2008	Blood Price, Chapter 2	Horror	89
Jun 14, 2008	Blood Price, Chapter 1	Horror	238
Jun 9, 2008	In the heart - chapter 1, Chapter 1	Romance	133
Jun 8, 2008	At The End there is Nothing	Miscellaneous Stories	166
Jun 8, 2008	In The Heart - Preface, Chapter 0	Romance	89
Jun 6, 2008	Ice, Chapter 2	Adventure	51
Jun 4, 2008	Ice, Chapter 1	Adventure	80
Jun 1, 2008	Heaven Sent	Romance	172
May 30, 2008	Not to die... Is to be tortured, Chapter 2	Horror	110
May 27, 2008	I'm sorry	Poetry	143
May 20, 2008	To die... Is not to die, Chapter 1	Horror	298
May 19, 2008	Hate	Poetry	191
May 19, 2008	A Violent Passion	Horror	306
May 11, 2008	The ForSaken Trilogy	Horror	145
May 9, 2008	ForSaken 3	Romance	183

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Connection

Jessica (Forsaken)'s connections

Amie Kerlin (lemon)

jesse (jesse2008)

Max Booth III (Zombie Punk)

Philip Neale (philneale1952)

Sorrow Is My Mask (resistanceisfreedom)

Billy (Vango)

Guestbook

Name	Entry
jesse (jesse2008) I'M THE FIRST	Created On: 07/06/2008 13:23:39 Hey Jessica, I just wanted to stop by and be the first to sign your Profile Book.

Comments

Total number of comments: 26

Title article: Bloodsong: Nurturing Murder, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-07-19 05:50:04

creepy
Nice short story, it's fast paced which is good. It's how a vampire story should be. It was good how you described the kill, 'He growled and he bit down into her neck. Like a dog, he ripped into her tendons, taking much ecstasy in his meal'
What you've creted can sometimes be hard.
*I think the last part kind of ruined it for me; why did she have to get pregnant?
I think this could be very good, just needs alittle bit more to the story. Maybe you could build upon the vampire?

Title article: I'm Only Locked In Place
Date: 2008-07-18 06:52:32

Nice!
I really liked this poem. This is very dark and well written. It's a sad poem in that it is from the point of view of someone who is suffering and defeated. I read this and thought Wow because it's such powerful stuff! Nice job!

Title article: Bloodsong: Awakening, Chapter 3
Date: 2008-07-18 06:42:35

scary
This was kinda scary. It is very dark. The reaper seems really cruel; he taunts her and seems to take pleasure in this. The way you wrote this means that th reader can almost imagine the reaper taunting her, and that is what makes the story really effective.
When the reaper is describing love lost, I could almost feel sorry for him; creating a sense of compassion for this creature makes the story even more appealing.

Nice job!

Title article: Just Wait...
Date: 2008-07-18 06:32:32

Nice
Nice poem!

Title article: The Letter
Date: 2008-07-17 11:03:15

good
This story was so sad, and a bit depressing. But life's like that, you don't know what is going to happen next. It's sad because it's so heartbreaking; the fact that he misses 'her scent, her body, her sweet voice' makes his pain that much more believeable and easy to imagine.

Title article: Packing It All In
Date: 2008-07-17 10:49:13

Good!
This is a good story. It is something I can relate to, sorta, which is good! I think you did a good job of writing this; you made a possibly plain story idea into something that is stangly intreaging.

Title article: Stalker Shopping
Date: 2008-07-17 10:42:41

haha
Entertaining story, really. I kept reading through it, waiting to see what else would happen! It was light hearted, which I liked. Really good story!

Jess

Title article: She
Date: 2008-07-17 08:06:29

Dark
Oh wow! this was very dark indeed. It was disturbing and a little sad. This was well thought out; I noticed that you kept the pace of the story the same throughout the poem. I do not think that there is much you could do to improve this. You can imagine what the girl would be thinking because you used such powerful images.
:) Keep it up

Title article: TALK: OWN DIMENSION
Date: 2008-07-17 05:05:22

cool,
Is the narrator talking to himself in the mirror? Like a monologue? I liked how you kept it at a quick pace.

Title article: She
Date: 2008-07-14 06:41:05

Disturbing
Wow, this was disturbing but very well written. The way you wrote it helped me to read it fluently. Great job!

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