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Humor
Meijer - Lower Standards, Higher Prices.
Kroger - Wrong Store, Wrong Price.
K-mart - Not Here, Not Now.
The Stuff of Death.
Wal-mart - Wal-mart. Never Low Price. Never.
J.C. Penny - It's nothing inside.
Ford - Designed for dying. Engineered too fast.
Skittles - Skittles...Taste the rainbow. (Water flavor)
T...
04/01/2008 | 122 Hits | 2 comments |  (0 vote) | Read more...
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Humor
Thomas from Union, NJ
Vic, why have you been sending me mixed signals for so long? We’ve been writing to one another for years, since I was 16. You said that when I’m 18, we could be together, but now I’m nearly 22! Oh, and don’t get me started with the Jags’ playoff game in Pittsburgh! You said that we’d “meet at a hotel on Steubenville pike - and after working up our appetite&ld...
03/27/2008 | 113 Hits | 3 comments |  (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
The Gods of Virginity
Not many people have heard of
the "Gods of Virginity." They are the
gods that decide when a hymen gets busted or a teenage boy sweats out
his first
paternity test. These guys are like
Santa, but better. They dole out first
time nookie to boys or girls, whether they've been naughty or nice.
The GOV don't sit atop Mount Olympia; I'm pretty sure they hang out in
the...
03/26/2008 | 186 Hits | 2 comments | (1 vote) | Read more...
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Humor
Bill eased his ageing fiesta off the A456 and onto the farm track up to Rotten Row farm. The most difficult part of successful metal detecting is not finding objects, they're everywhere, it's not identifying them, there are a multitude of book's listing every possible find, no the hardest part was finding a farmer willing to let you dig little holes willy nilly all over the place, that's where he'd had a stroke of luck Mr Bayliss's wife had los...
03/26/2008 | 175 Hits | 2 comments | (3 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Dr. Zoidberg,
I notice my checking account keeps getting money withdrawn to pay your bill, while my problem(s) persists. I'm considering seeking another therapist.
However, I will post my feelings/thoughts over the last (what day is it?) day, or so.....
...One day started when, waking up, seeing a stiff, black (jungle fever, do you mind?) body laying next to me....... I immediately recalled my purchase on reald...
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Humor
Hello Dr. Zoidberg,
Well you see, it started five years ago: I had this infatuation with Leela (Especially since Katey S. did her voice, and I always had a thing for Peg Bundy), and that's what started my viewing of the show that you lead, with several others as ''Fillers.''
Anyway, to get to the point, about two years ago, I was with this one inferior-to-Leela girl, and well, I don't expect anyo...
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Humor
My preparations for the food fest that is to begin
on the tenth of April (now hoping for a postponement) took me to the
legendary students’ ward…Acute Diarrhoea. I had been there before,
couple of times. I knew, my lovely tummy wouldn’t bear the entirely new
diet I had been trying recently. Here is a sample of what I had
yesterday:
Breakfast: ‘Antimicrobial drugs’ (Not more than 10 pages did I swall...
03/22/2008 | 122 Hits | 2 comments | (1 vote) | Read more...
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Humor
How we made our own guitar
This is little tale about my friend and myself. It took place during our vacation when we didn't have too much to do and therefore thought we should make a guitar.We were an enthusiastic duo and knew that once we started,we had to see our idea through to the end.
First, we had to find a guitar maker and ask him about the wood ,the products to used and the procedure to build a guitar.Thinking a...
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Humor
Making plans to do something or go somewhere when you are a Mom?
In my experience, it has been impossible to do this. Kids are like mini chaotic events that are constatly around us. Sure, we think things are going fine, so we make plans to go somewhere and spend the day visiting with a friend. As soon as we hang up the phone after making such plans smiles abound, we turn and look at these...
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Humor
ok so just now my 2 1/2 year old daughter was tugging on my hand saying something about finding her "cat". So off we go to the toychest looking for what i am thinking is a toy cat of some kind.... not so. I realize that after being a mom for almost 11 years, I still have trouble interpreting kid-speak. After spending 10 minutes or so pulling out every toy cat in her toychest ranging from life size to pinky size, she ...
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Humor
Mathew ignored the horrendous smell, but he passed out as the brown goo sprayed onto his hands. He had always had a strange aversion to chocolate, but now he was covered with the stuff. Yuck. Melanie had had some strange fetishes before, but this was out of hand. She knew that he couldn't stand the stuff, now she was covering him from head to toe.
She told him that ...
03/10/2008 | 705 Hits | 27 comments | (6 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
My head was pounding to a beat of its own marching band, one two three BOOM... one
two three BOOM, each hit hurt far more than the last. At times my sight would fade in
and out like bad reception on a television, it wouldn’t last too long but it wasn’t helping
matters much at all. I know right now, that there isn’t much time left. I’m starting to get
dizzy, and I’m bleeding a bit from my nose. And my skin fee...
03/10/2008 | 235 Hits | 2 comments | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Between every breath there is a space of time. Nothing is there, and all is void. The same
goes for life. When one takes his or her final breath, there too lies nothing. And that is the
problem- there lies nothing. Such a concept, I understand, is quite hard for you to grasp
on to at this time. The words above might seem like rantings straight from the lunatic
fringe and is worth not an effort of time to understand but I assure you good p...
03/10/2008 | 193 Hits | 3 comments | (1 vote) | Read more...
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Humor
The large, red demon gave a jeering call of ‘Fresh Meat!' as it shoved
the skinny young man through the swinging doors. He lay for a stunned
minute on the stone floor, then climbed to his shaky feet. The acidic
bite of sulfur was less apparent here; there were other smells to
contend with - pots and pans muttered quietly over the cooking range
and there was even a whole pig roasting slowly inside the black hearth.
The young m...
03/09/2008 | 257 Hits | 9 comments | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
THE GREAT BUNEY STANDOFF Part 2
Bascom frowned.
“Hoke called again?” He shrugged. “Hmm. I guess he’s still upset about
something.”
“You know about this?” King pushed his food
aside and slid out of the booth. He studied Bascom’s face. “You do know about
it! Why haven’t you disarmed and arrested this ma...
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Humor
THE GREAT BUNEY STANDOFF Part 1
By
D.L. CHANCE
Buena
Vista sits quietly near the top of Colorado's
"Valley of the Fourteeners." An elderly town of around two thousand, give or
take the occasional snowmobile invasion, "Buney" as mountain folk throughout the
Upper Arkansas River country have called it for more than a hundred years, is
just not the kind of place where tru...
03/07/2008 | 154 Hits | 2 comments | (1 vote) | Read more...
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Humor
January 1st: It’s another new year. The night before started out just great.
I hadn’t given a single thought to the TWENTY pounds I had gained from mid October to now. I had my new years eve night all planned out--I was going to spend it with my two closest friends Carrie and Tracy, and we had planned on ending the year with a bang. Since we were all going to dress up in the things we never get to wear, I had put on what I tho...
03/07/2008 | 427 Hits | 3 comments | (1 vote) | Read more...
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Humor
Dearest Diary,
I am on route to my destination of California. I leave behind that wretched series Two Hosts and a Model, I move on to newer and more profound things. My dearest Mr. Dempsy awaits my arrival, we are betrothed to be married. A marriage I am much looking forward to. My previous state of Missouri was quite a bore. Is there a state in existence where exists more social decay and arrogant prudence?...
03/06/2008 | 164 Hits | 3 comments | (1 vote) | Read more...
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Humor
DINNER IN TOWN
By
D.L. CHANCE
Whit and Ona Mae
Willins lived all their married life together on a small spread about eight
miles west of Farwell, Texas.
Farwell never had
been much of a town. It started out ‘long about 1888 as a Fort Worth &
Denver Railroad siding site and jerkwater stop, and immediately didn't get much
more important or noteworthy. Mainly, the ...
03/05/2008 | 331 Hits | 6 comments | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
The real.....part three......The Penta Hotel breakfast buffet
I arrive at the penta hotel front entrance at 8.30 sharp , slap the doormans palm with a crisp 10 dollar bill and make my way in to find my Arab friends standing there in the middle of the lobby . Catching sight of me they rush at me with stretched arms and we all go through that customary firm handshakes , hugs and kisses.
At such close encounters of the flesh ...
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Short Stories 
