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Humor
Now Mr.Silver when he had coffee he went insane after 6 hours after drinking he had to go on a killing spree or he would explode. He know was running up the street killing people along the sidewalk he came up to a man then Named
Mîçhæl Ðøvêr who had a huge red mowhawk and was a very VERY strong man, he was also an attourney for a amazing comic book writeR ~Charity~ who needs no last name only the sound of h...
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Humor
They walked hand in hand down the path, the sun streaming through the trees casting soft shadows on them both.
Charles gazed into Samantha's eyes as he softly said, 'You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen, my dear.'
Samantha smiled playfully back at him. 'You are so cheesy Charles.'
He grinned broadly at her, and kissed her lightly on the cheek. 'I know, but you love it.'
Samantha laughed a tinkly laugh, but d...
04/23/2008 | 328 Hits | 20 comments |     (5 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
In the beginning was a clown, his name was Frankinclown. He was a
cereal killer; every morning he would pull out a box of Corn Flakes,
and stab them with his spoon.
He was also sexy; too sexy for his shirt (or the circus), so he decided too join a stripper club so he could take it off.
Needless
to say, that job didn't last long. He had pretended to be a woman, but
that is hard to pull of when you're stripping. They thre...
04/23/2008 | 134 Hits | 5 comments |     (3 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
You know how sometimes, after you’ve had this really nice sleep and you don’t have anything to do that morning, you sort of slowly fade into wakefulness? No alarm clock shrieking in your ear, no blaring radio, just the sound of bluejays and chickadees welcoming you to a new day with the help of nature’s orchestra. And when you’re good and ready, you yawn and stretch your arms– every part of them...
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Humor
[author's note: Sorry for the delay, my weekend was really shitty and I was in no mood to write. anyway, I hope this chapter slightly makes up for it...]
I wish it was later right now. Since it’s only seven or eight o’ clock, there’s still a whole lotta sunlight highlighting the cement tiles we’re treading, and I’m nervous. I’m nervous because Morgue’s arms are draped ar...
04/21/2008 | 87 Hits | 2 comments |     (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
The dream began to turn ugly; the pretty girls with no clothes on started to look more and more like Mrs Thatcher. As Britain's ex prime minister began to try and French kiss him, Richard turned and tried to run away screaming in terror and revulsion, as clutching claw like hands reached for him, the ground turned to treacle holding him back as he was gradually surrounded by clawing, wailing hags, imploring him to do what Dennis used to do. It ...
04/21/2008 | 185 Hits | 4 comments |     (4 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
It’s the beginning of the year 1976, and we are now in year 9. As in we I mean my twin brother and I. We would always get into trouble. Nothing would separate us; we are stuck together till the end. Being in year nine you are no longer targeted by bullies. Year seveners are the targets and they are not wise to the games played. My favorite is the two-cent bash. Speaking of the two-cent bash there comes a great memory.
Behin...
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Humor
I spotted the Meter Maid walking away from my car as I exited the college campus. “What did she do!?” My mind screamed immediately as my body leaped into action. Sprinting across the one way street towards the southwest corner I deftly dodged the oncoming traffic to the sounds of horns and mild death threats. Before the civil servant could escape I landed on the scene holding my hand up in a stopping motion. Grabbing the ti...
04/20/2008 | 127 Hits | 7 comments |     (5 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
SomethingSpicy
I had just entered a Gary’s is Good restaurant racked with hunger and parched for drink. A sign behind the front counter informed me that today was chicken wing day. If I ordered six wings I’d get another six for free. Never one to pass up discounted food I ordered two plates of spicy wings and a pitcher of beer. My stomach had been demanding this all day and now with our mutual goal in site it started ...
04/20/2008 | 160 Hits | 5 comments |     (4 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
I was only eight years old when my parents left me to attend a dinner party. There was no advanced notice involved only a quick hug, kiss, and command to obey Miss Yates while they were gone. Miss Yates was my eighty year old babysitter who was about in that stage of her life where SHE would be needing her own seniorsitter.
But that time isn’t tonight. Tonight she’s watching me as I sit in my father’s recliner ...
04/20/2008 | 559 Hits | 9 comments |     (7 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Mahabali is a religious place where two sacred rivers meet head on and share their individual merits of holiness in a sort of amalgamation of purity of a spiritual sense
but sadly not in physical sense as each year more and more pilgrim come to bathe in its waters and leave their unholy dirt, for the rivers to carry forward a thousand miles to the sea.
People bring ashes of their deceased loved ones to be scattered...
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That Stupid thing!!!!!
My name is … ah ! who
cares about my name in the Chennai city holding more than 7.5 million
individuals, including the yesterday born grandson of my friend, Srinivasan.
Even the one day old cute kid whose feeble cry from his teeth free empty mouth
making his rosy cheeks red, will not care to talk to me one day. From the one
day old kid to people who have only one day left to live in this...
04/19/2008 | 144 Hits | 7 comments |     (3 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
One day an old woman walked and sat down on the bench next to me. I was waiting for a train, but I had purposely arrived much earlier. It would still be about 20 minutes until my train arrived, I had no intention of speaking to the woman, until she promptly stood up and plopped down her bags in the bench I was on and sat down.
"Hello." I greeted her awkwardly. She could sense my uneasiness.
"Afterno...
04/18/2008 | 141 Hits | 3 comments |     (4 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
The hum of a TV can be heard through Em’s thin walls, along with the barking of several neighborhood hounds. There’s a lot of noise outside the bedroom, but inside it’s a tomb– silent and unfamiliar. I grind my teeth and click my tongue, pretending that Em’s checkerboard bedsheets draw my attention; Morgue taps his fingers against the pine headboard, trying to find interest in the picture of a topl...
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"I'm gonna rob a bank." Owen had barely touched his fettuccini, preferring his fingernails instead.
Thor didn't look up from his plate of pasta primavera. A good man doesn't take his eyes off a good plate of food. Especially Bertolli's pasta primavera. He said to himself, "Almost as good as in Italy." His mouth half chewing...
04/18/2008 | 302 Hits | 1 comment |     (4 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Wheaty pushed the last sleeping bag into the back of the packed SUV. This was going to be a fun weekend, how could it not be? Wheaty & PieFace would be going camping with Cletis, Billy Bob & MelonHead - it was bound to be an adventure that wouldnt be forgotten for a long time. Wheaty closed the back of their nice, new black SUV & with that they were to be off. PieFace almost immediately yelled shotgun! and being that sh...
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Humor
This is Sidney Wattlehut reporting live for ILKH news. What you are seeing behind me is some sort of accident involving two large tanker trucks it seems these two trucks were carrying some sort of toxic chemicals from Darken Inc. Im getting reports that my fat ass shouldnt even be standing this close to the crash, as one day I could wake up with an extra arm or leg. Reports are still sketchy on the reason for the crash, but the loc...
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I'm not a completely impassionate person, but there's just something about demonic, green barf. It's not flattering.
As far as girlfriends go, Jaymie wasn't the worst one. She wasn't the best, but she wasn't the worst either. I'd say she was more of a middle-of-the-road type of girlfriend. But our relationship just wasn't ready for the exorcism, it was brought on way too fast.
So, it was suppose to be our thr...
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A crack’s beginning to develop at the very base of Em’s bedroom window, old ladies keep yelling at me, and at least three people walking by have attempted to alert the police that an addled teenager’s escaped from the local mental asylum. These are all three very good signs that I should probably stop catapulting the smallish boulders that I’m “borrowing” from the rock garden at her house, but she has still has...
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Humor
Guy Baggot Smith gave the combine trundling along the lane in front of him another ten second blast on the Bentleys powerful horn and hammered on the steering wheel in his frustration. Every bloody time he'd gone out in the last couple of weeks he'd ended up stuck behind a combine or a tractor or a herd of bloody cows, it was like living in the dark ages, still if Guy had his way there would be no more farming in the vale of bloody Bram.
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