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Humor
My feet are killing me – I’ve been on them all day at that market stall and it’s been hot enough to fry an egg on a Roman’s breastplate. Mind you frying a Roman would be preferable right now considering all the restrictions they out on us these days. That Herod’s no good, he’s just a patsy kowtowing to the governor instead of standing up for his own people – still, I suppose someone’s got to be &l...
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Humor
Everyday I’m made to handle countless people in this gas station. I hear their complaints, stories, suggestions for the store, conversations on their cell phones, and their problems. I touch more people than I should really be allowed too. Why? Because it’s my job. I was behind the counter counting back change to a young woman in her mid twenties repressing my sexual aggression like any other day. Her body was slim yet supple and...
05/01/2008 | 117 Hits | 4 comments |  (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
I don’t really get to talk with either of my two close comrades until lunch, which for some reason the guidance department decided to put exceedingly late on my schedule. By the time 7th period finally rolls around I can feel my stomach crying itself to sleep, so I grab whatever gourmet crap the cafeteria ladies have so lovingly whipped up today first before heading into the beautiful summer weather and towards the stone steps Em, Morgue, a...
04/30/2008 | 81 Hits | 3 comments | (3 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Em and I ended up not checking up on Morgue at all on Sunday. We sort of realized we had been overreacting just a tiny little bit– Morgue is a big kid, after all, he can handle himself. He’s actually older than both of us– he’s already 17, while Em and I won’t be until July. Our birthdays are only a week apart, I forgot if I mentioned that before. We actually have a lot more in common than at first glance, Em and I. ...
04/30/2008 | 73 Hits | 2 comments | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
It had been a normal saturday morning and Elizabeth Hanz had just woken up to the sound of birds chirping from outside her window.
Why the hell did those birds have to make such a noise? She wondered as she grasped the handle of a shiny metal bat. The bird was oblivious to the approaching danger and so did not fly away before Beth swung the bat at it. It fell off it's purch and hit the ground with a thud. Beth felt satisfied that the vil...
04/30/2008 | 295 Hits | 7 comments |  (5 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Once you start you cannot get enough. Its like a tumor that spreads around your body creating a mutant self, then it drags you to a black void that leaves you in lonely despair. But there is hope; there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I can cleanse myself, make everything right. How to do it is the question. And who will help me. My mother rejected me and I never knew my father. I have no friends they all left me. Oh how I regret my fat...
04/29/2008 | 177 Hits | 1 comment | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Dennis was
disappointed not to find the face of the Virgin Mary inside the potato. He
positioned his fingers around its belly like you might a spider, and turned it
upside down so light danced on its face. The sad fact was, however you looked
at it, it was just the same as all the others - white, wet and potatoey. He
would have settled for any member of the Holy Family, to spark a media scrum.
"How many
more 'av we got?"
...
04/28/2008 | 292 Hits | 4 comments | (8 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Hi.
I am Okendra. Okendra Dixit; Age: Twenty five years, height: 5’9,
weight: 75 Kgs. I am a mechanical engineer by study and a software
engineer by profession. And to tell you all, I don’t look bad, at least
not to me and my mom, but never had a girlfriend in last twenty five
years of my life ( and that’s my earnest confession!)
But I did fall in love, many times.
First
time i...
04/27/2008 | 127 Hits | 1 comment | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
This shift feels as if it’s dragged on for centuries, but finally I’m in the home stretch: there’s a mere forty minutes left until I’m gone, and there isn’t a customer in sight. Kay’s in the back catching up on some beauty sleep, so I’ve been handling the register for a while. I’m bored to tears, though. We only have Cosmo and some ancient issues of People around, and I can only look at glitzy outfi...
04/27/2008 | 99 Hits | 3 comments | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Recipe for a TV serial? You might ask. Yes, for every food preparation there is recipe. TV Serial is also a preparation – a food for eyes, or food for thoughts. Now let us examine what ingredients go into making a popular TV serial.
First of all you need a channel for telecasting it. Then get some gullible advertisers to sponsor your work. Bribe someone in the higher ups to get a prime time for the serial...
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Humor
As husband and wife, we quarreled quite often, yet, you'd agree that we're perfectly matched!
I'M a peace loving man. That is why we had resolved at the beginning of our marriage to weed out our differences by talking them over and not allowing irritations to accumulate.
I knew that marriage, like a plant, had to be tended and fostered, strengthening its roots through constant attention, and occasion...
04/27/2008 | 158 Hits | 4 comments | (4 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Yesterday I went to a hotel for having my evening snacks.
There two elderly people were discussing about mundane matters.
One said, "you know nowadays people get to top post easily,
yeah see this guy(they mentioned our president's name) was just a scientific and now
became a president."
---actually our president was a scientist. These people don't even know the word "scientis...
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Humor
Warning: Conversation piece with no redeeming social merit. Read with caution if sophmoric humor resides on a fine line for you. This story is about the struggle of a man with a dark past who attempts to overcome his feelings of guilt over the loss of his/oh bullocks. It's about going to the bathroom.
Hey Kyle what’s wrong with you?
I’ve got a problem man.
What’s your problem?
Well…&hel...
04/25/2008 | 126 Hits | 4 comments | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
They walked in the middle of the streets, through tightly knitted groups of people, and across traffic with complete disregard for public law and personal safety. They were zombies. Or, zombie reenactors to be exact. Reenacting the hordes of the undead that had swept our streets not just two weeks ago. Walking around one of the busiest and most alcoholic parts of town they harassed those with high and low spirits. There was no prejudice amongst...
04/25/2008 | 90 Hits | 3 comments | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
CSI. (Counter Strike Investigations)
Have you ever wondered; what happens to a Hostage in Counter
Strike when they are not waiting to be rescued? Do they have social
lives? Do they wonder about life after death? Today, you'll find out.
In a white room somewhere other than here, was a queue, a queue
with a lot of people in it, people who were... Queuing... At the end
of the queu...
04/25/2008 | 110 Hits | 4 comments | (0 vote) | Read more...
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Humor
Somewhere over the rainbow and just outside Berlin Feb 1945
Two surgeons worked intensely on the burnt out husk of SS major Oncle Shultz, he had been rushed to Hospital after an incendiary bomb from an RAF Lancaster had landed on the orphanage at which he was trying to recruit for the Hitler youth. The two surgeons looked at one and other "Zist does not look gudt Herr Jupiter" commented Herr Lips, he was the master surgeon ...
04/25/2008 | 152 Hits | 2 comments | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
i JUST GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER.
SiTTiN ON MY BED THE THOUGHT WOULDNT LEAVE MY HEAD.
SO i DECiDED TO DO iT.
WELL GUESS WHAT iT DiDNT GO THE WAY i PLANNED.
i STARTiNG SCREAMiNG AND YELLiNG FOR HELP.
TEARS FLOWiNG DOWN MY FACE.
BLOOD TRiNKLiNG BETWEEN MY FiNGERS DRiPPiNG ONTO THE CARPET.
MY HEART BEGAN TO BEAT FAST AS MY HANDS GOT SWEATY.
NUMBNESS CREPT OVER MY LEG.
AND ALL i COULD THiNK OF ...
04/25/2008 | 213 Hits | 9 comments | (6 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
Tramp Chronicles: The Plan, (the beginning)
At this point, Leemo, a man known to most as wheel chair guy wheeled onto the close, even if you couldn’t see him there was no way you could not hear this intermittent panting when he rolled by. This was a very irregular breathing pattern if you ask me but I’m not a doctor, still.
He had the use of one arm and one leg, apparently he suffered a ‘fall’ one day, yet anytime...
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Humor
Captain's log: Star date, 16th of the 3rd, 4037.
We'd
been orbiting around the star 71,467 of the Nerdy Sector for two weeks,
awaiting a supply ship. ('Cause we were running kinda low on spam.)
Our mission was to explore the unknown! To boldly go where no man has
gone before! To–
A door opened and the first mate Harry Smyth, entered.
"Gosh, that is so clich...
04/24/2008 | 146 Hits | 5 comments | (3 votes) | Read more...
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Humor
I’m getting late– I wasted enough time in the bathroom before trying to tame my hair, and now Kay’s going to kill me because it’s fifteen minutes past opening time and I don’t think anyone’s behind the counter. Usually Em would be, but for an “unknown reason” she phoned in she couldn’t make it today, and so Kay kept spamming my cell phone with voice messages until I finally answered and ...
04/24/2008 | 85 Hits | 3 comments | (2 votes) | Read more...
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Short Stories 
