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Humor
It’s the beginning of the year 1976, and we are now in year 9. As in we I mean my twin brother and I. We would always get into trouble. Nothing would separate us; we are stuck together till the end. Being in year nine you are no longer targeted by bullies. Year seveners are the targets and they are not wise to the games played. My favorite is the two-cent bash. Speaking of the two-cent...
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Humor
I spotted the Meter Maid walking away from my car as I exited the college campus. “What did she do!?” My mind screamed immediately as my body leaped into action. Sprinting across the one way street towards the southwest corner I deftly dodged the oncoming traffic to the sounds of horns and mild death threats. Before the civil servant could escape I landed on the scene...
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Humor
SomethingSpicy
I had just entered a Gary’s is Good restaurant racked with hunger and parched for drink. A sign behind the front counter informed me that today was chicken wing day. If I ordered six wings I’d get another six for free. Never one to pass up discounted food I ordered two plates of spicy wings and a pitcher of beer. My stomach had been demanding this all...
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Humor
I was only eight years old when my parents left me to attend a dinner party. There was no advanced notice involved only a quick hug, kiss, and command to obey Miss Yates while they were gone. Miss Yates was my eighty year old babysitter who was about in that stage of her life where SHE would be needing her own seniorsitter.
But that time isn’t tonight. Tonight she’s...
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Humor
Mahabali is a religious place where two sacred rivers meet head on and share their individual merits of holiness in a sort of amalgamation of purity of a spiritual sense
but sadly not in physical sense as each year more and more pilgrim come to bathe in its waters and leave their unholy dirt, for the rivers to carry forward a thousand miles to the sea.
People bring...
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Humor
That Stupid thing!!!!!
My name is … ah ! who
cares about my name in the Chennai city holding more than 7.5 million
individuals, including the yesterday born grandson of my friend, Srinivasan.
Even the one day old cute kid whose feeble cry from his teeth free empty mouth
making his rosy cheeks red, will not care to talk to me one day. From the one
day old kid...
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Humor
One day an old woman walked and sat down on the bench next to me. I was waiting for a train, but I had purposely arrived much earlier. It would still be about 20 minutes until my train arrived, I had no intention of speaking to the woman, until she promptly stood up and plopped down her bags in the bench I was on and sat down.
"Hello." I greeted her awkwardly....
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Humor
The hum of a TV can be heard through Em’s thin walls, along with the barking of several neighborhood hounds. There’s a lot of noise outside the bedroom, but inside it’s a tomb– silent and unfamiliar. I grind my teeth and click my tongue, pretending that Em’s checkerboard bedsheets draw my attention; Morgue taps his fingers against the pine...
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Humor
"I'm gonna rob a bank." Owen had barely touched his fettuccini, preferring his fingernails instead.
Thor didn't look up from his plate of pasta primavera. A good man doesn't take his eyes off a good plate of food. Especially Bertolli's pasta primavera. He said to himself, "Almost as...
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Humor
Wheaty pushed the last sleeping bag into the back of the packed SUV. This was going to be a fun weekend, how could it not be? Wheaty & PieFace would be going camping with Cletis, Billy Bob & MelonHead - it was bound to be an adventure that wouldnt be forgotten for a long time. Wheaty closed the back of their nice, new black SUV & with that they were to be off. PieFace...
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Humor
This is Sidney Wattlehut reporting live for ILKH news. What you are seeing behind me is some sort of accident involving two large tanker trucks it seems these two trucks were carrying some sort of toxic chemicals from Darken Inc. Im getting reports that my fat ass shouldnt even be standing this close to the crash, as one day I could wake up with an extra arm or leg. Reports are...
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Humor
I'm not a completely impassionate person, but there's just something about demonic, green barf. It's not flattering.
As far as girlfriends go, Jaymie wasn't the worst one. She wasn't the best, but she wasn't the worst either. I'd say she was more of a middle-of-the-road type of girlfriend. But our relationship just wasn't ready for the exorcism, it was brought on...
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Humor
A crack’s beginning to develop at the very base of Em’s bedroom window, old ladies keep yelling at me, and at least three people walking by have attempted to alert the police that an addled teenager’s escaped from the local mental asylum. These are all three very good signs that I should probably stop catapulting the smallish boulders that I’m “borrowing” from...
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Humor
Guy Baggot Smith gave the combine trundling along the lane in front of him another ten second blast on the Bentleys powerful horn and hammered on the steering wheel in his frustration. Every bloody time he'd gone out in the last couple of weeks he'd ended up stuck behind a combine or a tractor or a herd of bloody cows, it was like living in the dark ages, still if Guy had his way there would be...
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Humor
An eternity and four– count them, four– milkshakes later, Shane bids us adieu. He mutters some reason or other for the “early” farewell, but I can’t recall it because I’m overwhelmed by gratitude. Finally, we’re down to a threesome, and I’m dying to tell Morgue my first impressions of his new boyfriend, complete with imitations...
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Humor
It had been nearly two weeks since that eventful night in Shatsville. PieFace still hadnt fully recovered from the combination of food poisoning & a devastated vagina. All she could remember was that the crazy old pirate had shown her no mercy. PieFace had been in bed most of the time, since Wheaty was off visiting Cletis & wouldnt be back for a few more days. She wished...
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Humor
The sun had finally set on Shatsville, with PieFace by her side - Wheaty was ready to set off to find the infamous Pirate Sex Ship. Looking over at PieFace she could tell something was up, Whats wrong with you? You look like death. Wheaty asked, concerned about her spunky little friend. PieFace ran her small sweaty hand through her bright pink Mohawk & muttered out three simple...
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Humor
With a mouth full of metal, our friendly Friendly’s waitress- Kay or May or something like that– hands me and Em our Super Chocolate Pistachio Vanilla Strawberry Mountain of Amazing Banana Death, known in laymen’s terms as a triple-scoop banana sundae topped with hot fudge and, my God, even more sugar in the form of sprinkles. It’s enough to make my...
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Humor
http://www.jessenovels.wordpress.com
(Alive)
Two men are stuck in a deserted island after there boat crashed.
James: Okay, Bob it's time.
Bob: Time for what?
James: How do I break this to you gently. I'm going to eat you.
Bob: What, why?
James: We have no food.
Bob: There's plenty of food.
James: Where?
Bob: We could...
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Humor
Today a true story from the
vaults of my memory. I was about sixteen or seventeen, and my best friend had
taken me to one of his friend’s houses on a holiday, I don’t recall which
holiday it was. I knew the people in the distant sort of way that small towns
have, but had never been over to their house. It was a nice cozy brick house,
with a freshly-painted barn and stables,...
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