Apparition of Justice

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Ebony Eyes

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Mark Grealish (Fenster) Profile Page
Mark Grealish (Fenster)
Hits 611
Online Status OFFLINE
Member Since 02/11/2008
Last Online 08/24/2008
Connections 0
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Website/Blog: www.bhalash.com

Stories


Published Short Stories

 
DateTitleCategoryHits
Aug 12, 2008The WatchmanScience Fiction 85
Aug 4, 2008True Love, Chapter 2Science Fiction 72
Jul 29, 2008True Love, Chapter 1Science Fiction 142
Jul 20, 2008FulcrumsScience Fiction 115
Mar 21, 2008Clichés (part 2)Science Fiction 147
Mar 18, 2008Clichés (part 1)Science Fiction 190
Mar 11, 2008All Our Bright FuturesScience Fiction 195
Mar 6, 2008Express ElevatorScience Fiction 344
Feb 12, 2008The end to all warsPoetry 283
Feb 11, 2008Dark DaysScience Fiction 278

Comments

Total number of comments: 14

Title article: As We Know It
Date: 2008-08-14 02:43:15
Interesting, but...
It's an interesting story, but there are naby technical details related to a nuclear blast which you overlook for dramatic effect; this detracts from the story for me. Suspension of disbelief is difficult when key details of a real situation are being overlooked.

Title article: True Love, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-07-31 15:34:10

Thank you everyone for your great feedback. I will have the next part online tonight.

Title article: Alien Presentation
Date: 2008-07-28 14:08:05

Cute story, it definitely has an interesting approach to the subject.

Title article: There Is Only One Star, Chapter 1
Date: 2008-07-28 13:58:48
Very intriguing
I'm definitely interested in seeing where this story leads as you have a fascinating lead-in. My only (minor) gripe is that some of the dialogue and internal monologue of CD seems a little stilted.

Title article: Fulcrums
Date: 2008-07-21 13:30:30
Two things
I'll never improve if I write in a vacuum, and when I publish something I'm writing for the reader.

Title article: Fulcrums
Date: 2008-07-21 10:58:03
Flow
Where exactly can I be clearer?  
 
I'm concious that I'm trying to convey a lot of strange ideas in a short space that I need to get across correctly.

Title article: Clichés (part 1)
Date: 2008-03-19 15:50:46

Check back here on Monday coming...

Title article: All Our Bright Futures
Date: 2008-03-11 15:25:03

It's because I'm Irish.

Title article: All Our Bright Futures
Date: 2008-03-11 10:26:41
This is a repost
I accidentally deleted the post yesterday.

Title article: Express Elevator
Date: 2008-03-11 08:37:21

I had a reply prepared which I lost, so I'll wing it: 
 
Good point on the numbers. I wasn't sure what I should use so I tried both, although I've since updated the article. 
 
This story is actually just the end of a much longer piece that I've been writing on and off for a while. There's an older draft on my website that you can look at if you like: 
 
http://www.bhalash.com/files/ docs/ee.pdf 
 
The characters are more fleshed out, more background, etc. I posted the end as it was because this scene is what the story boils down to: Screaming, uncontrollable terror. 
 
I do plan to finish Express Elevator, but I want to try some more short pieces so I can get my stride first.

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